#rr rambles

briefly considered replying to this person but then took a look at their account...

i made this account because i hit a threshold of anger with my current friend group, which is largely people who identify as trans and/or queer. including a number of lesbians with boyfriends, which i still don't really... get.

i'm not quite sure how to define myself to others anymore.

my sex is female. even when i identified as binary trans, i didn't think that was something that could be changed and it disturbs me that so many people are now arguing it can be. i have a hard time with being referred to by she/her, but... i have a lot of reasons to run away from myself. in this space i would not ask to be called something else, as i am coming here in the first place to try and see if not running away is better

i'm a survivor of child sex trafficking. i have c-ptsd and a handful of other mental disorders that i've never really felt comfortable listing out on the internet like a tasting menu of what other people think is wrong with me.

i finally "peaked" after years of lingering quietly around the edges of radfem spaces when i recently saw a post in one of my mental health community spaces declaring that going to a brothel is a morally neutral act and that shaming clients hurts sex workers.

that made me feel a certain way. more specifically, inconsolably furious. which kind of cascaded with a whole lot of other things that have also pissed me off and made me really uncomfortable with the current trans rhetoric as well.

kian and bassel

@sarrieblr and i were talking the other day, and she asked me if bassel and kian ever dated or had a crush on each other. and i could not stop thinking about teen!kian and bassel lowkey having crushes on each other… thanks for the inspiration, sarrie :)

so naturally, i did a photo shoot with them as teens, and subtly played around with the idea lol …why they so cute together…? and why do i lowkey wish they had dated… hae-won and kian literally just got married in my game and i’m thinking about kian with another man lol