this was such a welcome distraction. as the cool breeze of the summer air fans her hair, she wonders for a brief moment why they do not do this that often. there was so much delight to be taken out of just peacefully hanging out, body lounged carelessly in a soft blanket, a littler of good food surrounding them, and the best type of live entertainment. even the chatter of the people around them does very little to deter her good spirits. after all, they did manage to find a semi-secluded spot and so the noise wasn’t all that bad.
then she remembers their training schedule and the amount of work it took the both of them to prepare this spread and suddenly, she thinks going on a picnic is better off as a once in a few months thing.
“let’s serve this champagne now while it’s still cold.” she says a little giddily, taking out their choice of beverage from the bag. the plastic flutes were not quite as fancy as the glass ones they have back home but given the precarious environment, it would have to do. “hold the flutes, i’ll pop it.” jisoo directs her companion, a conspiratorial smile on her lips. after many years of doing this, she’s already quite the professional. in just seconds, she was able to open the bottle without much fuss. the pop of the cork coming off bringing a triumphant smile to her lips. “oh, that’s a beauty.” she says as she pours one glass, then another. “cheers to being able to take a break.”
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in theory, she should not be walking around the halls of the company without a sense of urgency. she should have been holed up in a practice room, doing god knows what else to make sure that she will be performing well for the end of the month evaluations. after doing that perpetually over the last few days, it can be argued that she’s exhausted. she is in desperate need of a break. even if the said break she is looking for would just be for a few pathetic couple of hours.
yet of course there is nowhere else to go in this building. she would have gone outside but the weather was too alarmingly warm. frighteningly so, as they were just in the cusp of the summer season. instead, she locates what she hopes would be an empty room and pushes it forward as she whispers prayers of luck to the heavens above.
“luna?” she asks, as soon as she sees that there was a person on the other side of the door. disappointment did not come, instead an overwhelming course of excitement traversed through her body. jisoo does not even care that she’s not alone; it just matters that luna’s here. she passes through the doorway with a smile on her lips. perhaps it was the happiest she has ever looked when it comes to greeting people. stopping a few meters away from the girl, she bows. “hello, it’s nice to meet you ashe-sunbaenim.” she greets her formally but laughs softly anyway. “look at you,” she gushes, looking at her friend proudly. “i saw your viral video when it came out. you looked exceptional.”
she eyes the pool disdainfully, nose upturned, and lips pulled low in what is starting to appear as a permanent frown. it can be said that summer is not her favorite season of the year. the constant sweating even when you’re just casually standing and the humid air makes it too uncomfortable for her to enjoy. the only consolation to this godforsaken two long months would be the fashion. the dresses are cute but then again, that’s just it.
“how long are we supposed to stay in this party?” she asks her friend as they manoeuvre around the space, trying not to get their clothes wet. they performed nearly a half hour ago and she had assumed they would be free to leave. the glare she had received from one of their coaches when she was inching her way towards the exit made it perfectly clear that she can’t just leave that easily. “i’m getting old for these type of occasions.”
taking a sip from her glass of fruit punch, she sighs in disappointment. “this punch isn’t even spiked. how am i supposed to pretend that i’m enjoying this?” she should be grateful. this event seemed like a perfectly good idea to relax after a whirlwind of performances. but truthfully, she would rather just stay home. nothing beats getting food delivery for dinner, a cup of tea, and laying down on the soft cushion of her bed after a tiresome work day. “what do you think we can do in the meantime?”
quite frankly, she does not know what she’s doing there. when the qualifications were listed, she had read with bright eyes the only category with where she fits; english. anything else fails.
so the question remains: what is she doing there?
perhaps it is the utter restlessness. the feeling that she’s merely coasting by and waiting for news that might never come within the year. the feeling of not knowing what may happen next makes her toss and turn every night. she had long accepted that the trajectory of her career is not within her control. after all, the delegation of creating a new girl group is not her responsibility to make and so there are plenty of things that she does not know. even so, that fact does nothing to quell her anxieties. it seems she has come that point as a trainee that the longer she watches everyone around her debut, the more the exhaustion muddles her rationale.
jisoo had tuned in on some of the series that the samsung channel produced and saw the work that was put into it. she deduces that it was the kind of production that has been sorely missing in her life. if anything, she just wants to do something different. wants to be at the forefront of work that she can be proud of. even if that means pushing through the unthinkable and dipping her toes in an opportunity she technically knows nothing of.
she reminds herself in that moment that some skills are easily learned. if she can learn how to dance, she sure as hell can learn how to host. jisoo would never be the type of person weighed down by an initial lack of competency in something she can bring herself to master eventually.
yes, she is that confident.
not at all completely foolish.
her partner was a fellow trainee from royal she had worked with for quite sometime now, enough to feel comfortable with as she traverses through this new territory. they practiced diligently, the script provided for them cast off as soon as she got the hang of her lines. her aptitude for memorization and comfortability with scripts made it easy for her to go through the practices. the only challenge was making it all appear natural. smiling too much, acting jovially, and being an overall people pleaser is not something that comes naturally to her. what is like second skin to her, though, is acting. as they practice, she’s no longer the kim jisoo with her timid smiles and perpetual eye rolls. she’s kim jisoo—the bright eyed, graceful, and sweet emcee. it’s a role she can easily fit into.
on the day of the audition, she can feel her heart hammering loudly against her chest. as soon as they were called inside the room, she takes a deep breathe and assumes the task she did not think she would ever have the willingness of doing.
“hello! i’m kim jisoo and i will be one of the hosts for today’s show. ” she bows as she introduces herself, smiles as soon as her face can be seen. the exchange of words went on smoothly. it seems that the trick to hosting was that there must never be a dull moment between the hosts and the guests. hosts must be intuitive enough to be able to gauge the mood of the guests and act appropriately, as well as attentive enough to ask follow up questions based on their responses. usually, that means often straying from the script as they let interactions flow genuinely. jisoo tried her best in emulating this facet of hosting. allows herself to laugh a little when her partner says a joke ( even when it wasn’t particularly funny ), and asks questions that weren’t highlighted in her script. it takes a lot of practice to muster but she thinks she did okay for a first try.
she believes the turnout would be a lot better if there were actually people to interview but she settles for what they have. at the end of it, jisoo has grounds to think that she may have done well. she did her best and played up her role as show host with her smiles, expressive reactions, and thought provoking questions. overall, it was an audition that could go wrong but surprisingly didn’t.
still, she cannot deny that she feels exhausted. as she steps out of the room, her energy was suddenly drained. there is something to be said about acting your lines and being told “cut!” after a few minutes, allowing yourself to rest before your next scene takes place. it is another else entirely when you have no choice but to act consistently; no rest in between the high pitched laughters and moving around. if she lands a role in this thing, this is a reality she would have to face for the next six months. can she possibly stick to the act of being a pleasant emcee when she is nothing but in reality?
with a resolute shake of her head, she determines that of course she can. she would not fall headfirst into the fear of the unknown.
one step at a time, jisoo. she reminds herself. one step at a time.
they find little breaks in between; believes it to be a source of mental and physical recuperation. as someone who gets exhausted all too easily, jisoo needs more than just five minutes of catching her breath. if it was up to her, she would have preferably settled for an hour long break. unfortunately, she does not have that kind of liberty unless she wants to be blasted for slacking around. given that she just came back from her week of gallivanting at her home city, she should be picking up exactly where she left off.
still, fifteen minutes of sitting around should be considered a necessity.
“i should say, i did not expect your dream concept would be band themed.” after nearly three minutes of comfortable silence, she speaks up. “it makes sense, though as you have always loved playing instruments.” she continues. they were all unique and had their differences—she finds that this is one of their most endearing qualities as a group. the way they have their own molds to fit into and still come together beautifully is an aspect she will treasure until her next life. after all, it is not easy to find something quite like what they have in this time.
reaching up to fix her hair, she adds. “sometimes i wish i had an affinity for such things too.” a pause, a small smile. “perhaps then i would not have to learn two set of dances for this month’s evaluations.” crossing her arms, she looks at the younger girl as if she wills her to feel the same way that she does. “it will never get easy, won’t it?”
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the song they were set to perform at the end of the month had this charismatic quality to it; something that she is endeared to. upon listening to it the first time, jisoo quite frankly and to put it in simpler terms, fell in love with it. the chorus was catchy and it was fun in a completely subtle way. they did not have to wear bright colors or jump around on stage to capture the audience. the song was upbeat yet classy enough to do it all.
they were in the seocho building, practicing relentlessly. as she puts down her lyric sheet on the table, she turns towards her friend. “this song is quite nice, i don’t understand how i never heard of it before this.” she comments, a curious crease on her forehead. perhaps her ignorance had a lot to do with the fact that she is not the most avid listener of idol music, especially ones that seem to be somewhat unpopular. “actually, i think i know why.” she brushes off her earlier statement with a shrug.
“let’s run over the song again one more time then we should get food.” she says after glancing at her wristwatch to check the time. “should we eat here or go outside? the seocho cafeteria gets obnoxiously full sometimes.” perhaps it was an excuse to get some fresh air ( as fresh as it can get in seoul ) and a mental breather from practicing for hours on end.
the notion that they are supposed to treat this evaluation as competition is something that fuels a fire from within her. jisoo had always been competitive; sometimes frighteningly so. while the levels with which how far she is willing to go just to win at something had significantly decreased over the years, that does not mean it was completely relinquished.
case in point: practicing her lines until she is positive that everything is as perfect as it should be.
“yuzu,” she speaks after taking a short break. jisoo approaches the younger girl with the music sheet held tightly within her hand. from the determined look in her eyes, it can be clearly said that she came with an agenda. “if you’re not busy, would it be alright with you if we can practice the song together? i would like to hear how i sound like as you play the cajon.” gesturing towards the box instrument, she smiles. “i want to cross off where i can come off wrongly as early as now so that i can quickly work on it.”
