#rough topic

Hot take:

(Added read more since its long af)

Almost

by Anne Eliot

YA Romance

Published by Butterfly Books

on February 1, 2012 *Self-purchased*

Synopsis via Goodreads:

At a freshman party she doesn't remember, Jess Jordan was almost raped. ...Almost. Very nearly. Not quite. Three years later, Jess has managed to make everyone believe she's better. Over it. Because she is. ...Almost. Very nearly. Not quite. Unfortunately, until Jess proves she's back to normal activities, her parents won't discuss college. So, she lands a summer internship and strikes a deal with hockey jock, Gray Porter: He gets $8,000. She gets a fake boyfriend and a social life. Jess has no idea Gray signed on for reasons other than money. She also never expects to fall in love. But Gray’s amazingly hot, holds her hand all the time, and makes her forget that he’s simply doing his job. It’s like having a real boyfriend. ...Almost. Very nearly. Not quite. Gray Porter is hiding secrets of his own. About Jess Jordan. About why he’s driven to protect her, why he won't cash her checks, or deny her anything she asks.

Get Your Copy:

Barnes & Noble (paperback only)

 The Book Depository

As some of you may know, our office "adopted" an entire family for Christmas this year as part of the Angel Tree Program that our hospital takes part in each year. Go Here to read my initial post. Several things happened in between this post & my last post. We found out more about our family, their health situations, family situations, wants, needs, and their life in general. I can't honestly begin to tell you how hard their life is right now. I feel for them and it makes me really Thankful to have everything that I have. My wants & needs pale in comparison to those of this family. My heart truly breaks for them. As a recap - Mom - cervical cancer Son - 5 yrs old - brain tumor Son - 10 yrs old - several health problems due to a vehicle accident Daughter - 12 yrs old The Mom's niece is also in their house now. A precious little 5 year old girl. Our department pulled together, along with the help of a few others including a local high school state champ football team, Author Deborah Palumbo, and a local fabulous photographer who donated a free family portrait session. The Mother just stopped by to pick up her family's gifts & let's just say that tears were definitely shed. It broke my heart to hear of her struggle with providing the medical care her children needed OR paying for Christmas presents. When asked if she'd like to keep the left over wrapping paper for wrapping any gifts she may have at home, she said that there were none. As a mom, I can only imagine the struggle of not being able to provide for children. I wanted to say Thank You to each and every one of you who may have reached out to help a family in need in your community. It truly is an amazing feeling to be able to pay it forward because there will be times of struggle in each and every one of our lives at some point or another. Be Thankful for what you have - including the health of your children & family members.

I hope each and every one of you have a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays 

I reblogged it though, because it was a reminder to myself. That I'm really not the only one who does it. I feel like I am all the time. It's hard to hide, it's hard to deal with. I don't leave my house without a sweatshirt/long sleeved shirt/ace bandage covering the pain I've been feeling for years. I can't take those things off, because I'd be easy to notice. It's tough to deal with. 

But if you do it, just know that it may be a release, but it just hurts you more in the end. I've realized that. I actually stopped for a while, before events in my life happened and I started again. 

Don't ever let people think that you're emo, or looking for attention. You have your reasons, whatever they may be. You don't ever need to explain yourself. If anyone ever says "Let me see your wrists" (A line, I have gotten countless times) you should say "No. Fuck you. I don't need to prove ANYTHING to you." instead of trying to hide your arms, or even showing them. Because then your life would get miserable. Trust me. I'd know.

I won't say life will get better, because for me, it's done nothing but get worse. But I will tell you this. Nobody has it easy. Even the people who seem like they have the perfect lives, break under the pressures of the, what seems like, perfection. Everybody deals with inner shit. Some of us show it on the outside, in many ways.

Just know you're not alone, and people are always there for you.