Mar 19, 2025
I just need someone to hold me and tell me that this will get better and it won't always be this damn hard.
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I just need someone to hold me and tell me that this will get better and it won't always be this damn hard.
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you ever get on a zoom meeting for some important business and everyone has their stuff together but you're such a mess of anxiety and stress that it feels like you were dropped into the middle of a conversation in a language you don't speak and the second its your turn to contribute and you open your mouth to speak all that anyone can hear despite your words technically being all about business is how much of an emotional wreck you are?
that just me?
Desperation
About 5 hours ago, Dominic's parents started a 'small' party to celebrate his mother's 50th birthday. At first it seemed fun, since his two aunts, one nephew and his only niece were already here since Saturday morning, but that thought soon changed as it because more and more crowded and people started to ask him about how he was doing, what he was doing, where he was doing it and how he's going to keep doing it. Due to this hurled up amount of pressure on him he close to snapped and started dissociating. The bad part about this is that nobody in his family truly know that he had some serious DID and that he's been having issues with this for about 17 years. And yes, even I get that this is quite impossible to think of, but he's always been the silent kid so they didn't realise it. Plus especially his parents think that he's a healthy kid and that every little thing about mental sicknesses that he tells them about are completely ignored since this would be considered "impossible for you to have"...
And here we are! With me fronting, Dominic freaking out in the headspace and Edward trying to calm him down while I'm supposed to keep interacting with people I don't even know. FUCKING. SPLENDID.
no slowing
I found out life doesn’t stop whether you ask nicely or beg like a wretched bitch grasping in the foxhole goddam shopping cart wheels even after taking everything he wanted he was empty - I don’t want that so I keep filling myself with fluff like Pooh bear admittedly weak looking for signs dinner tipped off the table when I dared forget a shadow car held me back but the lack of storm was anticlimactic an itchy wrist where he wanted me gone oh god why... can we slow down I must look for something his shape or at least something else I can bend to
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I am incredibly grateful for my best friends. They continue to be there for me through thick and thin. They've saved me more times than they'll ever know. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You mean the world to me. Because of you I've stayed around this long. I love you both with all my heart.
:/
I just really wish I could hug Taylor right now , I just really wish she knew who I am