#rosuke

Josuke: Is this mistletoe? Rohan: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Josuke: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Rohan: Yeah, no, it’s still basil. 

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Rohan: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Josuke. 

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Josuke: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Rohan, are a fucking cactus.

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Rohan: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. Josuke: I photosynthesize with this. 

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Rohan: Josuke, we tried things your way. Josuke: No, we didn't. Rohan: I did it in my head and it didn't work. 

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Rohan: I hate you sometimes. Josuke: Well according to this picture Koichi drew of us holding hands that's not true. Rohan: Josuke, you drew that. Josuke: It doesn't matter.

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Josuke: *out cold on the ground* Koichi: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Rohan, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Josuke’s face* 

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Koichi: It’s funny how well you and Rohan get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Josuke: Rohan hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people. 

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Rohan: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me. Josuke: But they said not to touch the masterpieces. Rohan: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall. Okuyasu, on a walkie talkie: This is Okuyasu, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again. 

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Rohan: Josuke annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. Koichi: There is nothing special about tomorrow. Rohan: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over. 

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Rohan: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Josuke: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Okuyasu: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Koichi: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

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Josuke: I love you. Rohan: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Josuke and Rohan kiss passionately* Koichi, to Okuyasu: You owe me 20 dollars. 

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Okuyasu: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Koichi: I sleep with a knife. Rohan: Both of you are pathetic. Okuyasu: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Rohan: Josuke. 

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Okuyasu: What’s the announcement, Koichi? Koichi: It’s a lecture. Josuke’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Rohan: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

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Rohan: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Josuke and I are dating. Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi, and Yukako: *gasp* Rohan: Josuke, why are you surprised?! 

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Okuyasu: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Yukako: I really care about your feelings! Koichi: I really care about YOUR feelings! Okuyasu, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Rohan: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Josuke: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

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Koichi: So anyways have y'all seen Rohan? Okuyasu: I think they went in Josuke's room 'studying'. Yukako: Doubt that. I heard groans there. *Meanwhile in Josuke's room* Rohan & Josuke, fighting:

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Josuke: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Rohan: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

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Josuke: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Rohan: This is a lie. Rohan: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Rohan: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS. 

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Josuke: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Rohan: Are you a software update? because not right now. 

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Josuke: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Rohan: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Josuke: Yes. Rohan: I'd sleep. 

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Rohan, to Josuke: We had a date! Rohan: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book* 

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Rohan: I want to kiss you.

Josuke, not paying attention: What?

Rohan: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

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