#rosianna

“I talk a lot about embracing all the messy and complicated parts of yourself but god at the heart of it I’m still a perfectionist and it’s so so  hard to kick. All it does is make me feel rubbish! I don’t know that it makes my work better and it doesn’t make me feel happier about myself at all. I’ve often said it makes me push myself harder but there’s a way to do that without a fixation on unattainable perfection, surely. Agh. Stuck! I’m also very impatient. I know that I *want* to internalise embracing the messiness of it all but it takes time and I’ve been celebrating perfect for my entire conscious life, so it will take time. I hate that it takes time between knowing what needs changing and changing it. Which is in itself a pretty good example of my perfectionism. I don’t like being in the messy limbo. I don’t like feeling like I’m falling short. I try so much to frame it as a positive, somewhere to go/grow. But I want to be there now.”