#roseumiris

Meiko felt like a godsdamned fool. So much time had passed since Y'shtola had been retrieved from the Lifestream – why, how, did she not realize the woman was blind?

It was like how she had felt with Thancred being possessed by an Ascian all over again. Too absorbed in her own selfish insecurities to really see the people around her. Too intimidated by anyone who enunciated every letter in a word to forge bonds with her own comrades unless they were children or common-born. If she could go back in time and bust her own jaw, she would.

But there was no room for such nonsense right now. She would make it right. And even if she couldn’t quite do that, she would bring the Scions home no matter the cost.

Meiko took a moment to regain her composure before she knocked on Y'shtola’s – Master Matoya’s – door. Once beckoned inside, she let herself in; she hadn’t tried to memorize what she wanted to say because she knew there was no point in it. She’d end up babbling regardless.

“Err, good evenin',” The skittish part of her didn’t want to do this, wanted to flee like a shy child, but she bowled that feeling over. She wouldn’t let herself feel the regrets and loss she felt in the days leading up to finding her way to the First. She was far more scared of feeling that way again than she was of social rejection. “Is now a good time tae chat…?”

send me a  ✿  and i’ll fill out the template below. bold for things i could definitely see or want, italics for things i could see or am unsure of and striked out for things i don’t want or cannot see.

FRIENDSHIP.     childhood friends  /  work buddies or coworkers  /  family friends  /  friends with benefits  /  smoking buddies  /  adventure buddies  /  fake friends  /  recently friends  /  party buddies  /  friendship of need  /  dying friendship  /  circumstantial friendship  /  partners in crime  /  old friendship  /  [ your muse ] is the good influence  /  [ your muse ] is the bad influence  /  [ my muse ] is the good influence  /  [ my muse ] is the bad influence  /  opposites attract  /  ride or die  /  frenemies  /  roommates or flatmates  /  penpals  /  exes to friends  /  enemies to friends  /  other

ROMANCE.     childhood sweethearts  /  [ your muse is mines ] childhood crush  /  [ my muse is yours ] childhood crush  /  exes  /  exes to lovers  /  forbidden lovers  /  highschool sweethearts  /  secret relationship  /  opposites attract  /  long distance  /  unrequited [ from your muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from my muses side ]  /  unrequited [ from both sides ]  /  skinny love  /  friends to lovers  /  enemies to lovers  /  spurious relationship  /  power couple  /  newly entered  /  soulmates [ metaphorical ]  /  soulmates  [ literal ]  /  awkward  /  turning toxic  /  toxic love  /  cheating [ on your muse ]  /  cheating [ with your muse ]  /  other 

FAMILIAL.     siblings [ half ]  /  siblings [ step ]  /  [ my muse ] is an older sibling figure to your younger sibling figure  /  [ my muse ] is a younger sibling figure to your older sibling figure muse  /  [ my muse ] is a parental figure to yours  /  [ my muse ] is a child figure to your muse  /  guardian figure  /  legal guardian  /  adoptive child  /  foster child  /  [ your muse ] is taken under mines wing  /  [ my muse ] is taken under yours wing  /  other

It had been a trying couple of days. After reuniting with Y'shtola and slaying the Lightwarden of Rak'tika, Meiko felt... fine. She was fine, despite the revelations of Hydaelyn and Zodiark, as well as the reveal of her own condition.

Although, it wasn't really a reveal. Meiko had already gotten a sense that absorbing all the Lightwardens' Light couldn't possibly be good for her, blessing or no. Even waking up today, her senses felt...keen. Sensitive? Like she was more aware of her breath, of the air around her, of the sounds and voices of the Crystarium.

She needed to walk and move around. To distract herself from her mind and body. Talk to someone, probably. A'kihiko, or catch up with the twins, or...

Or, maybe she couldn't leave her room. How stupid was that? Meiko lingered at her own door, palm resting on the knob but unable -- unwilling -- to turn it.

Come on, ye dumb bitch, we made it past this, she squeezed her eyes shut. No room for hesitation. Just do what we have tae, and...let the consequences be.

She gripped the door handle tight, but muffled voices from just beyond stopped her. She recognized their voices immediately.

"...seems well enough, despite her second visit the Lifestream. Still, I wish she would consider rest."

"Tis true, but I worry of the toll her aethersight taketh. Our forms in the First are but solid spirits -- Y'shtola very may well be depleting herself at a faster pace."

"I had that thought, too. Unfortunately, I've spent all my strength necessary to argue with her. We shall simply have to trust she knows her limits."

Shite. Y'shtola's sight was....depleting her? How?

Meiko's brow furrowed as she reviewed what little she knew of the situation, and by the time she opened the door, Urianger and Thancred had already left the Pendants.

A very big part of her told her to leave it be. As they had said, she trusted Y'shtola to know her limits. Still... between this and how willingly Y'shtola had thrown herself down that damned pit to save the antidote for the Night's Blessed (it wasn't her fault; if Meiko had been faster...), Meiko couldn't bear to consider what else might put the sorceress at risk.

She ran her hands down her face. She had only just begun to forge a closer bond with Y'shtola. Maybe now would be a good time to speak more openly with her...? Or maybe she would ruin it all in one fell swoop.

I need tae try. I didnae try all these years. Goin' back tae what I was wilnae help anyone.

[Terrible First Meeting Starters]