#roseparkerr

Rose’s long day was dwindling to an end, so, of course, she paid no mind to where she was heading. It wasn’t long until she ran straight into someone going down a similar path as her. Her immediate thought was to yell, but she calmed herself down before looking up and assessing the situation.

“Dimmock? Is that you?”

Dimmock blinked in surprise, but once he recognized her, he beamed.

It was after a particularly rough run through the asteroid belt that Cross ordered them straight to the nearest bar. Which happened to be in Utheron, Saturn's Rings. It wasn't necessarily a huge city. Nothing to get lost in, for sure. But it was far enough from SMC scrutiny for Cross to say "fuck it" if only internally.

The Analeigha sat at one of the larger ports. She was the largest thing currently docked and a close look would rattle anyone's memory who'd recently watched the news. Cross was hoping nobody would care enough to make a fuss. He just wanted a drink.

I've been thinking about this for weeks, months even, of exact post, and I've spent days reediting it, and finding out what were the exact words on how to put this. But, overall, I need to say I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry for leaving this blog, as well as my lostsoulsinabigbrowntent blog, I'm sorry for being incredibly inconsistent, and I'm sorry for being so socially awkward that I couldn't figure out how to restart a thread or start one for that matter. I've had this constant feeling of guilt ever since I ditched this blog the first time, which was probably six months ago, if not more. It started out as leaving for days, then weeks, then months, and finally to not returning at all. And, the explanation for doing this was this weird feeling every time I log back on.

Whatever this feeling is, it triggers my anxiety and depression like crazy, to the point where I couldn't sleep at night. I don't feel it when I start up the blog again, but after a week of coming back, it starts up again, and it kills me. But, on the other hand, I miss roleplaying so much it's ridiculous, and I miss all the friends I've made on the way. And, I can't help but feel like the effort I put into Rose, Victor, and all my other muses have gone down the drain.

Usually, to get this feeling away I would refresh the blog, add a character, get a new theme, or a new verse... But, I've ran out of ideas to bring my characters back. So, if you have any ideas, I'm all ears. Though, for now, I can't do anything and I'm leaving this note here for closure. 

I just want to say a few things to the people who were always there for me, even when I was being incredibly stupid and leaving Rose and her relationships behind. lirimvivaldi, ailbelynott, and lancasterinn I miss you guys so much, I get headaches and overemotional just thinking about our threads and our conversations. And, I guess, I always had a guilt for not saying goodbye, or building up the courage to at least talk to you all more. And, I failed at that, horribly, and I'm so so so sorry. And, I truly hope you see this, so you know how much you mean to me, and how much you impacted my life, as well as Rose's.

So, for now, this blog will be inactive till I find out some way to bring Rose back, as well as my other blog. But, I will be on my personal blog, which is jolenemarie143.tumblr.com.

roseparkerr

darkeneddimitri

"Hello! Could you tell me where I am?"