#romenwrites

[ Pause - Jace ]

Everything would have to stop. The music. The show. My infatuation with Demarion. My grandfather had a heart attack. Jada and I decided the best thing to do would be to go home. We had 10 minutes before we would head to the airport. I was in my room double checking my bag to make sure I had what I would need to be away for 2 days. It's been a couple of months since I've been home to Georgia and I was beginning to grow accustomed to life on the road.

TJ and Demarion were both in my room. We seemed like the 3 amigos but those two only dealt with each other for the sake of me. Demarion sat silently, as he always does when TJ is around, on the edge of my bed with so much concern on his face. TJ kept naming items that I needed to make sure to remember to bring. Both of them were concerned in their own way.

After a final check, it was time to leave. You would have thought I was never returning based on the vibe in the room. TJ gave me a hug and helped me put on my backpack. I was fighting back tears because we only had limited details about the severity of my grandfather's heart attack. I couldn't see myself continuing this music or life without him. Walking towards the door with Demarion behind me, he tapped my shoulder and I turned around to look up at him.

He stared at me for what felt like a few minutes but it had only been seconds. He hugged me and held me and that's when my tears finally fell. TJ shut the door to give me a moment.

"Hey, I'm right here with you," Demarion said cupping my head in his hands. "All you have to do is call me or text me. I'll even go with you if you want me to."

"I'll be fine," I said with a broken voice.

"Well let me know when how you're doing after you see you grandfather. Everything is going to work out fine," he said.

We exited the room. I was so grateful to have him and TJ with me. When we stepped off of the elevator I was immediately brought back to the moment when I heard Jada cursing and storming across the hotel lobby. I didn't even think to find her target I just immediately grabbed her and walked her to the car.

Once we were in the car she was sobbing. Her tears made me want to cry but one of us had to be strong. I put her head in my lap and we rode all the way to the airport in silence.

[ Stay A While- Jace ]

We left the burger joint in Houston and headed back to the hotel. TJ made plans with his new friend and Demarion and I had plans to watch movies the rest of the day.

After I got back to my room I decided to take a quick shower. I didn't want to keep Demarion waiting too long but I also didn't want to stink. We sat out on the patio and ate our lunch in the scorching sun. I was drenched in sweat. While I was in the shower my stomach began making knots as I thought about the alone time I was about to have with him. This was the first time that we made intentional plans to hang out together, alone. We've been to parties together but we always end up hanging with everyone else. Besides the time when he rescued me during my first night of getting drunk, I hadn't been in a hotel room alone with him since. During lunch today I thought about the possibility that I may have a man-crush on Demarion. What's not to like about him. He was good looking, polite, had a sense of humor and very talented. His stature demanded attention when he walked into a room and his smile was extremely contagious. I looked down while taking a shower and noticed that my thoughts were turning me on. I wasn’t having sexual thoughts but the thought of him wanting to be around me and the way he treated me made me feel good. Teecie and I haven't been the same since that night we share on the rooftop, so my crush on her has depreciated over time as my crush on Demarion grew stronger. Should I tell him? Should I ignore my feelings? What if he doesn't feel the same? He's not even like that.

I jumped out of the shower and threw on my Nike sweatpants and a hoodie. I grabbed my phone and phone charger and darted out of the room as if I was being chased. I got to his room and knocked on the door. There was no immediate answer. I waited a few seconds before knocking again. Again, there was no answer. I grabbed my phone to texted him and suddenly he threw the door open. I almost dropped my phone. He was standing there with nothing on but a towel around his waist and his body was dripping wet. He was obviously showering. I cold still see soap suds in his hair and on his chest. He was standing there looking like melted chocolate.  

"Yo, you got here quick. I was just in the shower," he said standing aside so that I could walk into the room.

I was in shock and didn't know what to do. At that moment I had no reluctance towards what I felt. I was attracted to him. He looked at me and smiled wiping water from his face. He pretended as if he was going to give me a hug but I pushed him away to avoid getting wet. He went back into the restroom to dry off and put on clothes. I sat there contemplating how to act normal. I can’t recall having an attraction this strong for anyone, especially another guy. Of course, I see guys who I think are nice looking but I don’t dwell on the fact long enough to call it an attraction. Have I been fooling myself? I’ve had girlfriends. I’ve had crushes on girls. I was really feeling Teecie a few weeks ago and even debating introducing her to my family. What was happening? It sort of felt lonely because I had no one to talk to; not even him or Jada. Maybe I could talk to TJ. Before I could continue thinking, Demarion poked his head out of the bathroom door.

“Hey, can you pass me my basketball shorts and grab a tank out of my bag?” he said. I got up and picked up his shorts and pulled the first tank I saw in his suitcase. I went to the door and passed the clothes through the crack and went to sit in the chair near the bed. I didn’t purposely sit there even though it was facing the bathroom door. The door was still cracked and I couldn’t help but to peer through the crack and watch him finish drying off. His back was turned to me so he couldn’t see me staring. His towel dropped and my mouth dropped. His back had muscles that I didn’t even know existed and his butt even looked like it had muscle. I watched him put lotion on his body and then spray himself with some cologne. He then put on his basketball shorts and grabbed his tank. He turned to walk out of the bathroom and that’s when I noticed that I probably should have worn jeans. I had a full hard on. I did my best to keep it covered and think of other scenes in my head besides the one I had just witnessed. It was hard…literally. I wasn’t the type to masturbate out of habit and I’ve never had sex so it was hard for me to calm down when I was really turned on.

“So did you bring snacks?” he said while pulling his tank over his head.

“No. It’s your turn,” I said.

“Oh, so that’s the game we’re going to play? Cool,” he said throwing his damp drying towel on me and turning to walk away. I ran towards him and pushed him on his back. He turned around fast and picked me up. He threw me on the bed and once I landed I reached for a pillow to toss at him. He looked at me and smiled before jumping on me, pinning me to the bed holding my arms above my head. It hurt but I’m not going to pretend I didn’t like it. I tried breaking free but he was stronger than I was. I laughed and he told me to say ‘mercy’ to make him get up. I waited a few minutes. He smelled so fresh. I could smell the scent of his sporty cologne mixed with the mouthwash he used to rinse his mouth.

“Mercy,” I said. My penis was growing hard so I didn’t want him to catch me slipping. He stood up and I looked at him. That’s when I saw it for myself. My sister was right. He was hanging. I remembered then that I didn’t pass him any underwear with his clothes. This dude was free-balling. I quit.

“Good. Now go get snacks while I set up the movie,” he said.

“Whatever. You don’t even know what I want to watch,” I said. “Trust me I do,” he said while he plugged up a streaming device to the TV. “But you don’t know what snacks I want.”

“Trust me I do,” I said in a flirtatious voice that I regretted when he turned and gave me a side eye.

I got up and walked out of the room to find the vending machine. I was confused by the look he just gave me. What did I do? What was I thinking saying that to him? I began to talk myself out of returning to his room but as soon as I did I received a text on my phone. It was Demarion.

The text read: “You know I prefer caramel snacks right? *wink emoji*”

I laughed. He definitely lightened my mood. I decided to go back. The bad part now was that the vending machine didn’t have caramel snacks. Most don’t so I knew he was probably flirting when he said caramel snack…referring to me and the complexion of my skin. I smiled all the way back to the room with the snacks. When I got back to the room I found him laying on the bed with his back against the headboard. I threw him a bag of Lays Original chips, his favorite, and some Starbursts. I went to sit down in the seat next to the bed. The new Jurassic Park movie was on and we began to watch it. Half through the opening credits he broke the silence.

“So is this movie night or what?” he asked.

“Yea. I’m excited. I haven’t seen this and I’ve been meaning to watch it,” I replied.

“Well, why aren’t you chilling with me? You way over there. Do my sheets look dirty or something?” he said with a half smile.

“No. You Just don’t go sitting on people’s bed. That’s rude,” I said with a taste of sarcasm in my voice.

“Well Mr. Jace I’m inviting you to join me on the bed,” he said matching my sarcastic tone.

I got up and sat on the bed. He must have been satisfied with me sitting on the edge because he didn’t say anything else. Halfway through the movie, he laid on his back. I was uncomfortable sitting up after so long so I leaned over and rested on my elbow.

“Um..I can’t see,” he said in a low voice.

“My bad,” I replied sitting straight up.

“Just scoot up here,” he said.

I thought about it for a second and decided to scoot up to where he was laying. I put my back against the headboard. I now had a view of him and the movie. I couldn’t help but look down at his basketball shorts. There it was…chilling with us. I tried my best not to stare at him for the remainder of the movie. By the time the movie was over he was asleep. I could hear him snoring lightly. I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to wake him up. I decided to sit there and think. I thought about what would happen if I confessed that I was attracted to him. My eyes started getting heavy so I decided to lay down on my back as well, resting my head on a pillow. I was really laying in bed with the drummer. This could cause DRAMA. Drummer Drama. However, I trusted Demarion more than anyone on this tour, besides Jada. For some reason, he had a trusting spirit and he’s been looking out for me since day 1. I eventually dozed off.

I opened my eye after sleeping for what felt like forever. I jumped up and looked at the clock and noticed I was only asleep for 30 minutes. I looked over at Demarion and found him staring at me.

“Good morning sunlight. I thought you would sleep all night,” he said with a smile.

“Oh God, I’m sorry!” I said.

“For what?” he said.

"I didn’t mean to lay in your bed like this,” I said.

“This is exactly where I want you,” he said before leaning over and planting a kiss on my lips.

That’s when I jumped up in a full sweat, realizing it was just a dream. There was a cover over me and luckily it was because not only did I have hard on but I ejaculated. Wet dreams at my age were so embarrassing.  I looked over and Demarion was halfway under the covers. His shirt was off and I fought the urge to touch him. His body was amazing and I felt like I was next to a god. I was afraid to get up and wake him but I didn’t want to stay there. I decided to stay since he gave me a cover. Obviously, that meant I was welcome. I laid back down on my back and forced myself to go back to sleep. We’d deal with this tomorrow. I had to say something letting him know how I was feeling. I closed my eyes.

[Ride or die - Jada]

I’m back in New York to attend a fashion show. Since the tour began I had been gaining a lot of attention in the fashion world. It was fact that I really did keep my shit together and I always offered a bomb look everywhere I went. The fashion show wasn’t until tomorrow so I had a day to play in the city. The tour would be in Chicago in a couple of days and the crew were already there setting up including Jace, Adrienne and Mona. The record label sent me 2 assistants to accompany me the day of the show and of course security went everywhere else with me.

Since I had a day to do nothing and I was basically there alone, Q decided to come to NYC to spend the two days there with me. I was excited because he wouldn’t have to do any work and we were going to try to stay at the same hotel to avoid people catching us meeting up in public. Finally I get to get a piece of that TRAPPERS life. Little did I know, I would get more than a piece.

We planned to meet up at an Italian restaurant called Syvlan in Brooklyn before we went to our rooms in Manhattan. We had separate rooms booked so the hotel staff wouldn’t figure out that we were there together and leak rumors, or the truth, to the media. What had my little life become? I waited in the backseat of a black Town Car until he texted me that it was cool to come inside. For once I was happy to be completely alone. My security company signed his security on to my protection plan for tonight to lessen the amount of people that would be moving around with us. Q had 3-5 security officers with him at all times. My 1 security deserved a break. Besides the pool party incident, I had not been directly in harms way.

I waited outside for about 15 minutes touching up my make up and making sure I was looking like a piece of perfection. I decided to wear my hair down in a straight style and pulled to the back. I wore a short black Givenchy dress that stopped mid-thigh and mid breast, exposing my long legs and smooth shoulders. My 6 inch stilettos made me appear taller and stripper-like. My diamond studded Brahmin clutch completed my look. I was smelling good, looking good and feeling good. If Q had any uncertainties about making me his lady they would all go away tonight.

I finally received a text that it was safe to come in.

The text read: ‘You can come in and eat or I can come out there and eat’

I replied: ’*Blushing Emoji*…I’m walking in’

I get out of the car and I walk towards the front door. I see him walking onto the restaurants veranda to meet me. I tried to contain my smile. Suddenly I hear gunshots ring out and they were close. Literally a few feet away. Q runs to me and grabs my hand pulling me into the restaurant. I was freaked out but I was skiing through that restaurants in my 6 inch heels like a bad bitch. He pulled me into an employees only area and told me to wait there. He took off the sports coat he was wearing and handed it to me. He then ran back towards the front of the restaurant. By this time the entire restaurant was in panic. I was the only one standing still while everyone either ran for cover or out of the restaurant. This never happened at Olive Garden back home. This was definitely some New York type shit that you see in movies.

Q returned back safely with his dress shirt opened. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought he had been in a fight. That’s when I became concerned. Why was he acting as if he was involved with what was going on and where was his security? No sooner than I had those questions, one of his security guards picked me up, and following his lead, we ran through the loud, busy kitchen where the workers continued cooking as if nothing was going on. The food looked good and I was tempted to grab a breadstick while I was being carried, a true to go snack, but I was on my James Bond, Charlie’s Angel, Mr. And Mrs. Smith shit right now. For some reason I was so shocked that I wasn’t panicking yet. Before we opened the back door Q turned to ask me, “Baby are you ok?”

“Yea I’m good,” I replied like a confused child. “I’ll explain later,” he said and then opened the door.

“Q CLOSE THE DOOR!” I screamed. No sooner than he was able to close the door bullets ricocheted off of the metal door. I saw a guy in a silver 4 door Mercedes Benz roll down his window with a mask on. I knew it wasn’t Halloween so I followed my fear instinct.

By this time the kitchen was in a panic. Security rushed us into the cooler and there we waited until the coast was clear. I could hear police sirens get closer and people screaming. At that point my eyes began to water. I was afraid. I had come that close to seeing someone get shot or even worse, me getting shot. All I could think about was my brother and how scared he would be if he knew what I was witnessing. Security put me down on the ground. I didn’t even notice how cold I was until Q put his jacket over me and pulled me into his chest. He planted kisses on my forehead and held me. That’s when I begin to sob silently. It was too much. This was the third incident since I had been on tour that I was close to a shooting. This time I actually saw a shooter. Growing up in church we were taught to believe in signs. I couldn’t figure out what these shootings meant but hopefully sooner or later it would make sense.

In the meantime I was soaking up the attention I was getting from Q. I could tell by the way he was rubbing his fingers through my hair, and refusing to let me go, that he knew that he had some explaining to do. After waiting in the cooler for about 10 minutes, we were escorted outside into a black SUV. Once inside I didn’t say anything. I saw news trucks, crowds of people and police cars everywhere. I looked out of the window in silence for half of the ride. Q reached over and grabbed my hand. He noticed that my eyes were red and he rubbed the side of my face. When we got to the hotel he asked if he could stay over in my room. I was hesitant but also I was afraid to be alone. We walked into my room and without say anything I went in the bathroom to take a shower. I was relieved to not be alone but I also needed a moment for myself.

I let warm water rush over my body. I stood there for what felt like eternity before I even began washing my body with lavender soap and oils. I turned off the shower and I didn’t hear any noise or movement coming from the room. Maybe he decided to go to his room. To relieve myself I began singing to myself. I heard a tap on the door. Still wet, I reached for a towel to cover myself and I opened the door enough to see Q standing there looking pitiful.

“Thank you,” he said.

I wasn’t quite sure why I deserved thanks.

“You saved my life,” he continued saying. “Look ma. Long story short, it’s a lot of people not happy that me and the other guys made it out of the hood and we will still rep it. They think we are trying to market off of them. Then you have another group from the hood that we still deal with that feel like we owe them more than we already funnel back through there. It’s a lot more details but that’s why I was hesitant on whether or not I wanted me and you to take this anywhere besides fun. You’re too good for the world I’m from. I may be dressed in designer clothes but I’m still a hood boy at heart,” he finished.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him in the restroom. My older cousin told me if you can get a bad boy to share his feelings, then you have him whipped. I haven’t even given him any of my 'good-good’, besides oral, and he was already bowing down to me. I wanted him now. He can explain more later. Still holding my towel I sat on the counter pulling him in between my legs.

“Q, I’m here because I want you. Let’s work out the other stuff later,” I said.

“Damn ma. You rode for a nigga today. You scare me. You’re too perfect,” he said.

I crossed my arms behind his neck, pulled him towards me and placed my tongue in his mouth. I couldn’t wait any longer. I was wet and ready. Literally. Although what just happened scared the hell out of me, it also turned me on. He protected me and I protected him. I already knew the sex would be bomb just because of that.

I let my towel drop and he grabbed my breast. They were still wet from the shower. He begin sucking on them, going back and forth between each one. I unbuttoned his shirt and exposed his slim fit, tattooed body. I then unbuckled his pants to let him know that I wanted all of him. He took his finger and reached between my legs to rub my center. I heard him whisper “damn” in response to my wetness. He took the fingers and stuck them in his mouth. He then begin kissing me all over my body. This is what I had been waiting for. He was so passionate in a thug boy type way. He got on his knees and begin serving my center in a way that said 'I’m so sorry’. I pulled him up because I felt like he was teasing me. I grabbed his dick and begin stroking it while I looked him in the eye. “I want you,” I said softly. He kissed me deep and while I was lost in his kiss he entered me pushing my back against the mirror. He started off really slow so that I could adjust to taking his dick. It touched every nerve in me and it felt like he was in my stomach. I moaned louder than I had ever moaned. I could tell it was turning him on even more. He started picking up pace and I grabbed on to him tighter. He picked me up and put me on the ground turning me around so that I could face the mirror. He pushed me down so that my breast were touching the counter. He then gently grabbed my neck and started kissing on my neck and sucking my ear. Next thing I knew, he entered me from behind. He was clever. He wanted me to see him send me to euphoria. I knew that was the case because he had the sexiest, most mischievous grin on his face. I almost couldn’t take it. Before I knew it I had climaxed and he would not let up. He kept going and I felt another release coming on. I had never had two consecutive orgasms. I understood then the full meaning of the song 'Trap Queen’ and why a girl became a 'Trap Queen’. If the dick was that good I’ll be kitchen cooking dope with my baby too. It was that good. I was about to catch my breath and say I couldn’t take anymore but I heard him let out a growl that let me knew he had climaxed. He dropped to his knees and kissed my ass and then laid right there on the bathroom floor pulling me on top of him. I was done. Before I realized it I had dozed off….butt naked on the bathroom floor. My damn head was in between the tub and the toilet and I didn’t even care.

I woke up, in my bed under covers. I looked over and Q was next to me watching tv. I tried to reach for him but noticed that a tray of food was between us. He ordered room service and I’m glad he did because I was beyond hungry. He looked over at me and smiled. I never knew him to be a smiler from the fan point of view, so to see him smile made me want him and another round.

He was so thoughtful. He ordered an Italian dinner for us to enjoy in bed since we didn’t eat any at the restaurant. He was watching a basketball game and offered to turn the channel but I didn’t mind. We ate in silence. Once we were finished he moved all of the dinnerware to the table on the other side of the room.

“And now for dessert,” he said.

He went under the covers and put his head between my legs quicker than I could look around to see if there was actual dessert somewhere. I didn’t see anything so I knew he had energy for another round. He came up, laid on his back and licked his lips. I got on top of him and kissed him before sliding down and taking him inside of mouth. I gave that meat my all. I knew that he was about to pull me into his world and I knew he would be the source of my headaches but this sex and his charm was worth it …..not to mention whatever else he had to offer.

“Ma, I’m about to cum,” he moaned. I wasn’t done. I jumped on top of him and started to ride him. I went up and down possibly 4 times and then I said, “now.”

He started convulsing and shaking, latching onto my hips. I couldn’t move because he held me down tight, releasing himself inside of me. Once he released I laid on his chest. I heard my phone vibrating but it would have to wait. I wanted this man’s everything. Right now I had his time, attention and dick. Nothing was going to distract me.

[ Great Idea - Jada ]

The EMBRACE Event was very amazing. We had just finished meeting the attendees and I was outside sitting in my brother’s lap while on Instagram live. Everyone was complimenting on how great we looked and we also read some great reviews from our D.C. show. My feet were killing me and I couldn’t wait to get back to my room to take off these clothes. We had to be back on the tour bus at 9am the next morning to arrive in New Jersey in time. I was answering questions and skimming through the comments when I read a comment that said “Stay away from Q, you’re too good for him”. I pretended not to see it and hoped Jace didn’t read the comment either. That’s when it happened. The entire comment section spiraled into opinions and speculations about Q and I’s interaction. It felt really uncomfortable because I didn’t want to come off looking like a desperate new star looking for any guy in the industry to hook up with and I also didn’t want to cause any ill attention for Q.

“Want me to turn it off.”, Jace asked me squeezing my hand. I didn’t answer. “Alright guys, we’re headed back to our room. Be sure to go check out our new video that’s on YouTube now. Goodnight.”, Jace said as he closed the app. “Listen Jada, what you do is your business but I really think…”, he began saying.

“Everyone keeps telling me what they think and not asking me how I feel or what my plan is!”, I said almost on the verge of tears. “No my love, that’s not where I was going with my statement.”, he said pulling me into his chest. “What I was going to say is that you should do what you feel just know that in this industry you’ll have to decide what you want to share unless you plan on sharing it all. You’ll have to manage your own personal affairs. This isn’t like high school or college. I trust that you will make the best decisions for you and I always have your back. Be open.”, he said.

I smiled. Jace was not only my twin but I really felt like he was my soulmate. He understood me in ways that no one else did. I felt really blessed to have him as my brother. My phone rang and I got up off of his lap to walk away from him. It was Q. It was perfect timing. I wanted to talk to him just to see where all of this was going or if we were just having fun. I didn’t mind having fun but I needed the closure.

“Hello.”, I said answering the phone as if I didn’t know it it was him. “Hey mama, I want to see you. Can I come to you now?”, he asked. “We are still waiting at the banquet hall but will be headed back to our hotel shortly.” I answered. “Are y’all waiting on a car? Let me come get you.”, Q said. “I don’t know if that’s possible.”, I said. I wasn’t sure how to break away from my manager. I glanced over at Mona and she was on the phone handling business as usual. I figured I shouldn’t press my luck with asking her. It may be fine to just have Q come up to my room. I didn’t know what to do.

“Hey, can you give me 5 minutes to figure something out?”, I asked. “Sure, call me back.”, he said.

I walked over to Jace. “Do you think we could push our rehearsal back and be fine with rehearsing once we get to Jersey?”, I asked already assuming he would say no. “Yea that’s what we’d have to do anyways. Mona wants to stop and get food and I’m a little hungry too so we thought we'd stop at Waffle House near the hotel before going to our rooms.”, he said. “I’m a little tired. I’m going to see if Mona will let a friend come pick me up and take me straight to the hotel.”, I said looking at Mona. “A friend, as in Q?”, he asked folding his arms. “Yes, is that ok with you?”, I asked with a slight attitude. “Yea but is he driving?”, he asked. “I doubt it. He probably has a driver.”, I replied. That’s when I thought of the bright idea. I would tell Mona I was taking an Uber ride back to the hotel. “I need to keep this thing under wraps. Can we just keep everything about Me and Q between me and you for right now?”, I asked my brother. “Sure. What are you going to do? Tell Mona that you’re going to catch a Taxi or Uber back to the hotel. It is dark so she probably won’t recognize Q.”, he said. “Precisely.”, I said with a smile. “We are such twins!”, I said lightly punching him in the chest.

I went over and explained to Mona that an Uber would come to get me. She said she was fine with that and just asked that I texted her when I pulled into the hotel. The hotel was only 15 minutes away. I agreed and called Q.

“Hey, I’ll text you the address. You can come get me. You have a driver right?”, I said with my hand over mouth. “Yea ma. You don’t trust my driving?”, he asked with a chuckle. “No, no it’s not that. I just told my manager that I was calling an Uber Ride.”, I said feeling like a 15 year old girl lying to her mom. “Fine, just be sure to rate me all 5’s.”, he said laughing. “Text me the address.”

I hung up the phone and texted him. Surprisingly about 5 minutes later a black Escalade pulled up with tinted windows. The driver let down the window and called my name. We were really playing this Uber ride thing well. I got in the back seat and didn’t see Q. I started to get worried until I shut the door and felt his hand behind me. He was laying on the back row smiling so wide I could see his entire grill.

“So how were my production skills? We made it look like a real Uber.”, he laughed. He took my hand and kissed it. He kissed it several time. He then took my index finger and put it in his mouth. Good thing I sanitized my hands. He obviously wasn’t concerned about Ebola. He pulled on me as if he we telling me to join him in the bask seat. I hesitated because the driver was right there.

“Yo, what about the driver?,” I asked with concern.

“Ma this is my shit.”, he said. “Yo Mario, turn up the music and take the long way to the hotel.” That turned me the fuck on! Q was just IT. He had IT! He acted IT! He wanted IT! He pulls me on top of him and begins kissing me deep. He takes one hand and grips my ass. He realizes that I had on a body suit and I immediately regretted it. He was able to pop one of my breast out. He pulled my nipple into his mouth and sucked on it like he was sure he was going to get some milk. He sucked my breast like a new born baby. I really wanted him. This time all of him. Both times before he aimed to please me expecting nothing in return. This time he really couldn’t pleasure me like he wanted because of what I had on. That was a sign to me that it was time for me to please him. I pulled back from his embrace and he looked at me as if he had something wrong. I reached down and licked his lips and then I licked my lips. I then tugged on his jeans. I was able to unbuckle his belt. He would not help me. He almost seemed shocked that I was going there. I checked to see if he was hard because I couldn’t understand his reaction. He just stared at me. I unzipped his pants and I backed back enough to arch my back and pull his dick out of his Gucci briefs. DAMN. It is true what I had heard. Those slender niggas have some long dicks. He must have been concerned that I couldn’t handle it. And he was right but I was not afraid of a challenge. I looked at him and he looked at me with a look of apology. I leaned down arching my back more and pulled him into my mouth. The only dick I had ever sucked was my ex and he enjoyed it so I was confident that I had skills. I relaxed my throat. I was able to pull him in far and I heard him gasp. I grabbed his balls and he grabbed my hand. I hope I didn’t hurt him. He took all of my fingers and placed them in his mouth. I could feel his tongue licking the tips of my fingers. I went to town on that dick. I wasn’t sure if was wanting to have feelings for him or if I already did. My emotions were all over the place but my goal was to suck the soul out of him. I could taste his precum and could tell by his breathing that he was close to climaxing. He grabbed me and pulled me up. He kissed me deep and then the truck stop. We were at the hotel.

He began zipping his pants. And stared at me. I didn’t know what to say.

“So is this where we say goodbye until we meet again?”, he asked. I looked out the window and noticed a reception of some sort ending. I was disappointed. I really wanted to invite him up to my room but knew we wouldn’t make it past the crowd without people noticing him.

“I suppose.”, I said with a crack in my voice.

“I will come to you or I will bring you to me. This isn’t over. I like you Jade. I want more of you.”, he said before kissing me again. I really wanted to excuse the driver and ride his dick into the morning light but I knew that was impossible.

“I can live with that. I can’t wait to see you again.”, I said opening the door and walking into the hotel without looking back. A part of me wanted to break down and cry. I had already imagined falling asleep in his arms. I was mostly horny and was not in the mood to pleasure myself. I reached my hall and to my surprise security was there. It was Ernest.

“Hey Ernest.”, I said. “Hi Ms. Jade.”, he said. “I’m here to relieve Paul. He informed me that you were headed back to the hotel. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you downstairs. If i’m not mistaken I think we were waiting on Mona to alert us of your arrival.” “Oh crap!”, I said remembering Mona telling me to text her when I arrived at the hotel. “I’m texting her now.”

I go into my room to wash my face, rinse my mouth out and pull my hair out of the bun. I tried to unzip my body suit but was unsuccessful. That’s when I had another idea. I was full of great ideas this night and I was determined to win.

Mona texted back: ‘Ok we’ll be back in 20 min’

That was enough time to do what I had planned just in case Mona wanted to stop by my room when she got back.

I peeped my head out of the door. “Ernest, could you help me with something?”, I asked.

He walked in and stared at me. “Can you unzip me?” I asked. That was the perfect hoe line from many movies I’ve watched. He unzipped me and stood there. I let my breast fall out of the body suit and I pulled the rest of the suit off revealing a thin thong. I knew my ass was looking right. I turned around and looked straight at his zipper. I could see the print in his pants. Just what I thought. I reached  down and unzipped his pants. I then grabbed him by the neck pulling him into my breast. He knew just what to do. He began sucking them. I walked backwards until I was close enough to fall back onto the bed. He fell on top of me. I pulled my thong down. I unbuckled his pants and pulled out his dick. He started sucking on my neck and had both of my breasts in his hands. I took authority and put his dick inside of me. I grabbed his ass and pulled him in deeper as he began to plow me. I was horny and as far as I was concerned somebody owed me some sex tonight. Shit. I threw my legs over his shoulders and he went even harder. I almost couldn’t take it so I pushed him away. I flipped onto my stomach and then arched my back. He entered me from behind and began thrusting fast and then slow. That was driving me crazy. I could tell by his breathing that he was close so I had to make sure I finished. I pulled away again and motioned for him to lay on his back. He laid down and I climbed on top of him to ride him. I started to feel a little guilty because I badly wanted for this to be Q. So I decided to ride him backwards so I wouldn’t have to see his face. I had never done that before. I went up and down and he began moaning. I was screaming because I was almost there. Before I knew it he yelled “SHIT!” and I knew he was about to climax. I yelled “Don’t Cum!”. He listened. My superpower. I then felt myself explode and I let out a loud moan. He pushed me off and came on the the top of my bedspread. I almost laughed because I knew he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know whether he was allowed to cum on me or the bed. He chose the bed which was fine. I smiled and walked away towards the bathroom. Once at the bathroom door I said, without looking at him, “Thanks for your help.” I then went inside to take a shower.

I felt so powerful. Whew. Sex is definitely a stress reliever. I don’t know why some girls are scared to talk about it or why their is so much sex shaming in society. Hoeing is life. I felt so much better and ready for bed. I still was thinking about Q but I was sure I’d hear from him soon. After my shower I went and got in the bed. I looked at my phone before turning off the light. I had a message from Q.

The text read: “I can’t stop thinking about you. Next time you’re getting dick.”

[ You Know Who - Jada]

It was the morning after our show in Washington D.C. It was another sold out show and an even better performance. I was at a restaurant downtown with my best friend and stylist, Adrienne, having breakfast when my phone rang. It was my mother. My mother and I had a different relationship than most mothers and daughters. We never talked about boys, make up or anything that I believed most girls talked about with their mothers. I relied on my older cousins and my grandmother to school me on guys. My mother called me and I picked up the phone wondering what this random call could possibly be about. She was more of a texter.

“Hey Mama.”, I said answering the phone.

“Baby where are you?”, she said with unusual concern in her voice.

“I’m with Adrienne downtown. What’s the matter?”, I asked.

“There was a shooting near one of the schools in D.C. It’s all over the news. I couldn’t reach Jace so I started to worry. Is security with you?”, she continued rambling until I cut her off.

“Hey mama, we are fine but to make you feel better we will go back to our hotel until we get word that things are safe for us to be out and about. And yes security is with me. Jace is at the barbershop.”, I assured her and then hang up the phone.

I proceeded to finish my breakfast and paid for our food. I called Mona to check on things back at the hotel. She was aware of the shooting but stated that the school was 11 miles away from our hotel room. Adrienne and I decide to stop by the outlet mall a few exits away from our hotel before returning to our rooms. I needed new gym shoes. We have to maintain our bodies on the road and it’s very challenging with all of the food and parties we are privy to on tour.

When we arrived at the outlet it was extremely packed. Mostly with teenagers walking around with friends. I wasn’t aware if this was unusual or not for this city but I knew where I was from the shopping centers had an older or a more family oriented demographic. We picked up some make up and accessories that we hadn’t seen back home. We then continued on to decide which gym shoes I should purchase. I opted for a hot pink pair of Puma runners. I had decided that morning that I would discipline myself to wake up everyday and run at least 2 miles before I did anything FLAME related. Running helped clear my mind and also helped me push through the day with ease. I ran track in high school so I knew it would be a good thing for me. We decided we should go back to the hotel after I purchased my shoes and before my mother called to check in with Mona and finding out that we hadn’t arrived.

We have a dinner to attend later with a foundation Mona is very fond of called EMBRACE. It’s a foundation that targets LGBTQ youth who have been kicked out or abandoned by their families. I was excited to meet the youth and the committee of the foundation. I wasn’t very familiar with many stories such as these. There were kids a part of this foundation that were as young as 8 and old as 18. Growing up in church people were either on the ‘down-low’ or weekly praying for deliverance but it was never a topic of discussion at our many church meetings unless it was in condemning way. I know my parents probably wouldn’t agree with this event so Mona didn’t it include it on our tour schedule. This was also going to be a semiformal event. Adrienne had picked an amazing piece for me to wear to the event and I couldn’t wait to strut my stuff.

As we were nearing the exit of the mall to meet our driver, we noticed a long line of girls that ranged from the ages of 15-24 in their appearance. A few guys, mostly black, were scattered throughout the line and were dressed in street attire. They were all holding CDs and posters but I couldn’t make out who they were standing in line to meet. We got closer to the front of the line and noticed they were waiting on the doors to open at a store called URBAN CAPSULE. It was a store that basically sole trendy apparel of Hip Hop culture. We stood around for a few minutes trying to peer through the crowd to see inside of the window of the store when all of a sudden I hear someone scream “FLAME”. A young girl runs towards me screaming and others begin to gather. I smile and they all started snapping pictures. It startled me but luckily Paul was a few feet away to manage the crowd. Now I see another reason as to why we have security. I took a few pictures with some of the fans and then the door opened. A tall light skinned guy wearing a vintage baseball jersey and fitted cap came out. He said he was the store owner and saw us through the window. He asked us to come inside. I almost declined because I wasn’t sure if he was trying to help us get out of the commotion or fuss at us for causing one. Paul pushed us inside. I could tell he was completely over the crowd. I’m sure the driver was waiting on us but when we walked in I came in direct eye contact with Q standing there looking as good as he did on tv. My heart started racing. I hadn’t spoken to him or seen him since I let him eat me out, like he was at a free Chinese buffet, at the afterparty.

He was having an intense conversation but when we locked eyes he stopped talking and smiled. He then walked up to me and pulled me in his arms. I could hear screams from the people crowded around the door outside and looking through the window. He quickly let me go and grabbed me by the hand pulling me into the store’s stock room.

“Hold the door.”, he told one of the guys a part of his crew. I’m sure Adrienne and Paul were baffled. I didn’t talk about Q much to anyone. I had yet to even discuss my interaction with him, in depth, with Jace. Once inside of the stock room he hugged me again.

“What’s up mama?”, he asked while hugging me as if he didn’t want to let me go. I could smell his cologne and I must admit I missed that fragrance.

“Nothing much. My friend and I stopped by the outlet to do a little shopping before I prepare for an event tonight.” I answered. “What are you guys up to?.”

“We’re having our cd signing out here today. Things got a little heated at the college we were supposed to do it at so we decided to come here instead.”, he said.

We looked at each other for a moment and without thinking I leaned in to kiss him. His lips were so smooth. I pulled his tongue in my mouth. It tasted like peppermint and Hennessy. I was immediately turned on. Just the mere sight of him excited me which had me confused. I wasn’t sure if I was reacting as a privileged fan or if I had began to catch actual feelings. This guy was what most black girls’ dreamed of. He was attractive, well groomed, fashionable and hood. He had an authentic street flare that made a good girl want to be bad.

I had on a nude lace bra, a white mesh tank and white stretch, skinny jeans with a pair of stilettos I found at all mall in Miami. I was looking extremely “Love and Hip Hop” but feeling like Rihanna and I had been turning heads all morning. Luckily I take pride in my appearance. It would be rare for Q or anyone to catch me looking thrown together at anytime. He took one of his hands and unbuttoned my pants. I almost stopped him but I was as turned on as he was, if not more. Hopefully he wouldn’t have me sprawled out on top of one of these boxes in this stock room. He reached inside of my matching lace thong and began to search for my center. Still kissing me when he found the entrance to my glory I gasped. That turned him on because he then pushed me back against one of the boxes and kissed me even deeper. He used two of his long fingers to massage my clitoris and I lost all thought of time and location. I felt myself getting wet but the only thing that mattered was him. I admit that haven’t had many sexual encounters with many different men but he was by far the best and I hadn’t even had the dick yet. It’s as if he was turned on by the idea of turning me on. It’s almost as if I had cast a spell on him. I broke away from his kisses. I felt myself about to orgasm but I stopped him just in time. That not how I wanted my first orgasm to be if I were to have one with him.

“Q…..stop.”, I said in his ear before taking his earlobe and sucking it for a few seconds. I could taste the metal of his ear ring.

He stopped and looked me in the eye. “You have a job to do and I have to go.”, I said with a smile.

“You’re right. Keep a nigga on task Ma. That shit is sexy as fuck.”, he said before planting kisses on my neck. “Can I see you later?”

“Q, I told you to text me. So when you text me we can work out all of the details about when we can see each other.,” I said and then I kissed him on his forehead.

“Bet.”, he said. “Call your girl and tell her that y'all should walk out of the back of the store. I saw some people snapping pictures when I hugged you. I’m sorry for not thinking. I was just glad to see you.”, he said licking his lips.

“And it was definitely good to see you and a surprise. Now go sign those girl’s CDs.”, I said.

I called Adrienne. The store manager escorted us out of the store, along with Paul, and the driver met us in the shipping area of the outlet mall.

When we got in the car Adrienne went off. She rarely curses but she let me have it.

“Bitch! What the fuck was that shit?”, she said not caring if the driver heard her. “Since when have you become the First Lady of Fake Gangster Rapper Records? Look at this suit”, she said with much attitude and shoving her phone into my hand. There was already a post on the Shaderoom’s Instagram of us hugging thanks to one of the fans posting a picture of us online. You could barely make out whether it was a friendly or intimate hug but the gossip blog was sure to caption the post with 'Looks like Q has a new FLAME.“

I giggled. "First of all I’m nobody’s lady. Second there is nothing fake about him. We are just cordial acquaintances trying to get to know each other without people making up rumors.”, I said rolling my eyes and then looking out of the window.

“You just be careful. We have a long road ahead and it’s too soon be getting derailed by any nigga, especially these industry niggas. I’ve heard too many stories and I..”, she tried to continue before I cut her off.

“Bestie, I got you. I know you’re looking out for me but this is all new and I’m learning as I go. I can’t take anyone else’s experiences on as my own. He’s a really nice guy. It was just a coincidence that we ran into each other and he was happy to see me. That’s all.” I said.

“I know girl. It just scares me. I don’t want you to get hurt and I don’t want to lose you. I’m sure he’s nice but I just catch an unfamiliar vibe about him and I want you to be careful. Can you promise me you’ll be careful?”, she asked.

“Yes Adrienne I’ll be careful.”, I said after I let out a loud sigh and rolled my eyes again.

“Thank you.”, she said grabbing my hand and holding it the rest of the ride back to the hotel.

Later that evening I was staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I felt so beautiful. It was the first time in a while that I was dressed up for a nice event. Also the first time I was making an appearance for FLAME in this type of attire.

Adrienne picked a gorgeous white body suit that resembled a pant suit. It was low cut at the top so she supplied me with extra padding to push my b-cup sized breast up. It was lined with gems along the top cut of the suit and along the lining where it cut off at my shoulders. My favorite part was that it had a cape that gently touched the floor. It was a good thing because my ass was sure bulging in this body suit and I knew it would be eating this it by the end of the night. Glad I was covered so the kids wouldn’t have to look at all of that. The cape was also white. My stilettos and accessories were all silver and my hair was pulled up into a classy bun with gems to finish off the look. My face was flawless. I had on light make up with a glittery glazed finish. I looked like a star. I was definitely wearing the FLAME brand well because I was on fire. I couldn’t wait to see Jace because he too was wearing something that complimented my outfit.

I stood in the mirror for at least 20 minutes having thoughts of how I’d introduce myself, what we should sing if we put on the spot to sing and thoughts about my future husband Q. I really hoped that he would call me soon. I also thought about what the comments under the Shaderoom’s post said about me.

My thoughts we interrupted when I heard a knock at my door. I was in my room alone so I answered it knowing security was at the door. I opened it and Ernest was standing there holding flowers. I hadn’t seen him since the night of the pool party. He still looked sexy with his hair pulled back into a slick ponytail. I almost forgot all about Q until he informed that some flowers had been delivered to me. He passed me the flowers and the card said 'just because you taste good’ and signed 'you know who’. I took the flowers and put them on the dresser in my room. I opened the door again and asked Ernest to come in.

I’m not going to lie. The thought of him wearing me out on this bed did cross my mind but I didn’t feel like taking off this body suit and having to paint it back on.

“I hope I didn’t cause your job to get harder. I hope there is no friction between us.”, I said.

“What do you mean Ms. Jade?”, he asked with no smile and confusion in his voice.

“The other ni…”, I began before he cut me off.

“I’m here to do whatever you ask me to. And If it gets hard I’ll be sure to let you know.” He said with a polite smile shutting me all the way up.

“I appreciate that.”, I said and he turned and walked away leaving me standing there.