Hello!!! Okay firstly, I love your blog, you've helped me and other people so much, I just can't thank you enough. Right now I'm having the following problem: I'm writing a love story between a photographer with PTSD and a musician. They're both in college, they're both guys and their relationship is kind of troubled at first since the photographer has a lot of trust issues. Thing is, I want to give it some drama without romanticising the mental illness. (1/2)
I don’t want it to be an “I love you cause you’re mysterious and edgy and artsy” kind of story because i think a mental illness that creates so much distress in a person doesn’t make them look pretty. So I wanted to ask you what kind of situations can I write to create some tension without it being romanticised. I’m sorry if this is confusing, but I would very much appreciate your help! (2/2)
I can’t give an end-all be all list, as I myself nor many people I know have full blown PTSD (although some lingering events in our lives that do trigger things similarly). I think there’s a few things you’ll need to emphasize and avoid in order to make it clear that it’s not a romanticization.
Things magically fixing because there’s a romance involved. This is a common problem in literature and media. Someone’s mental illness and trauma doesn’t just disappear because there’s someone new who does care and is patient and loving. Symptoms and triggers still persist, even if there seems to be no reason for them in day to day life.
Using the romance to “heal” any sort of attack. Unless your character has explicitly approved that physical contact helps, I wouldn’t recommend making it the go-to fix. Especially if the party having the issue isn’t asked if they would like a hug/kiss/etc., it’s a bit…iffy in my book.
Using pretty metaphors to describe things. If you’re going to use metaphors, use ugly, visceral ones that evoke concern, discomfort, etc. in the reader.
That there are highs and lows. I touched on this a bit above, but sometimes things can come out of nowhere. Perhaps there’s a date, an event, a phrase, or so on that makes things worse suddenly.
That it’s okay if the partner doesn’t know what to do. In fact, it’s great if he learns over the course of the story how to address things properly and keep reassuring his boyfriend that things are okay. It can certainly cause some hurt and tension, but it’s realistic.
