Hey!

I might be overreaching here, but honestly? Power dynamics are baked into human life. America loves to yell, “Relationships should be equal!!” but in practice, every relationship has a push‑and‑pull relationship of some sort. Someone takes the lead on X, and someone yields on Y. That’s not inherently bad; it’s just how people function.

That’s also why so many of these romances work. They mimic the relationships we know and love. They’re not just about “love”; they’re also about how power shifts get challenged or get reaffirmed between two people. That tension makes the story richer.

Where it gets tricky is when people slap BDSM labels onto what’s really just cultural hierarchy or soft D/s vibes. Once you use those terms, you’re anchoring it in a community with its own history, ethics, true rules, and expectations.

Now, zooming out: Asian societies run on hierarchy. It’s not just “romance flavor,” it’s the operating system. Hierarchy provides order, efficiency, and a sense of stability. But it also means roles aren’t always negotiated; they’re assumed. That’s why it can feel both comforting (needs are met without awkward conversations) and suffocating (individual needs get buried).

Compare that to the U.S., where the cultural script is “everyone’s equal; even kids can call out adults.” That sounds great in theory, but it also breeds a society where no one wants to take crap from anyone, leading to a society full of violence and little respect. Meanwhile, Asian cultures prize harmony, but individuals sometimes combust under the weight of unspoken expectations.