Sometimes I feel like all my friends secretly hate me

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Sometimes I feel like all my friends secretly hate me

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I genuinely have nobody to talk 2 about anything

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Christian songs are so weird lmao.
Basically
“I was worthless, disgusting, evil, and vile. Until I met you”
People asking me if I’m a boy or a girl at school is embarrassing in a way.
I’m glad that I somewhat pass to where people already think I’m a guy.
But I can’t tell some of my friends that I’m a trans guy so when people ask me if I’m a boy or a girl in front of them they like giggle thinking I’m offended by it.
And I’m so fucking awkward that instead of saying like “yes I’m a girl” and taking the jabs from person asking I just fucking shrugged dude
It was embarrassing but like only for a second. I know my friends would accept me, I just don’t want my sister to figure out and like tell my parents or something
Because id be a dead man
I yearn for the yart