#roctopdx

So shipping my stuff was a massive clusterfuck and some woman was personally offended that I didnt want to pay here $300 more than necessary to ship my stuff home. Really long story but this magical dude talked her into only charging me $450 instead of $775 and found a way to make it happen and hopefully my shit will get to Oregon in once piece. Now I need to pack suitcases, clean and put a few things in regular mail and then I'll be done. So far I've saved $350, sold a desk for $50, sold the rest of my furniture for $50 and I'm selling my car for $900. And thank god cuz I am maaaad broke. Ugh. But soon this will all be over and I'll be able to sleep for a day before hitting up an interpreting conference. Still scared about how Im going to justify leaving New York but fuck. I dont owe anyone anything. People will talk shit regardless and almost no one in Oregon actually knows me. So fuck them. Interpreting the next two days. Interpreting an ASL class, two weddings, a bridal shower and a convention in the next few months. And hopefully working for pay at least a little. Life goes on! The journey continues. Shit will work out.

I started the day incredibly exhausted. Got maybe 4 hours of sleep after being up over 24. Dragged myself to pancakes with one of my friends I looove and found out she'll be taking over my position and we had an awesome discussion about it. Im really excited for her. Then went and showed my car to a guy who was totally into it and agreed to buy it on Monday for not what I was hoping but more than nothing. So that is exciting. Then I got locked out because apparently the key I've had all year isnt the right key and our new subletter locked the door (which we normay never do). But the back door was open so thank god for that. Theeeen I got to meet an interpreter who has always been incredibly kind and welcoming and supportive and we had coffee and talked about a ton of stuff and she visits Portland every few years so that is really exciting. She genuinely cares about staying in touch and skyping and working on translating poetry together and its so exciting. I really like her and her husband and its such an hour to know them and to know that they like me. They are both sad Im leaving. Now I have about an hour before I have to leave for a play, which will be a nice break, but I am seriously incredibly exhausted. If I hadn't found my ADD prescription and taken that twice today I would be on the ground. I had trouble breathing this morning because ai waa so tired. So tomorrow is my last day to pack. Somewhere around 4am last night I realized I was almost done. Tonight Im going to come home, crash and get yp early, take some more ADD meds and go until I am done. Until there is literally nothing else possibly to pack because I cant live without it for 3 days. Then Im going to set my appoint to drop my stuff off, sell my desk, ship everything and just be done. Im going to enjoy the amazing interpreting opportunity I have this week, stay present and not worry about the future. It will be here soon enough. Then I get to share a cab to the airport with one of my really good friends. So that is going to be realy nice but also probably really hard. And last but not least my best friend has agreed to pick me up from the airport and take me to my moms. So Ill be able to cry all over him on the way there. Hahaha My life is crazy and wonderful and I know that I can succeed anywhere. I am smart, driven, passionate and capable and I always find a way to find people that will be supportive. Its scary as fuck but it really is true. Im going to do great things and be a great interpreter and life is going to work out. I just have to let it and not try to cling to what I thought my life needed to be.

I am getting to the point where I am almost delusional (most definitely manic) from lack of sleep. I am getting close to done packing. My computer, printer, some dishes, bedding and clothes are left. Hard part is packing for a conference while deciding what I really need and what I can live without for at least 2 months. Possibly longer. I have to take some stuff to AmVets as a donation. Someone came today and bought a bunch of it for $20. Which is so rad. I was giving it away but she insisted. So nice. Ive been offered $500 for my car, $300 from Carmax and there's a guy looking at it tomorrow who offered $1,000. I'm really hoping he buys it. Good thing about Carmax is worst case I'll get $300 and itll take me 20 minutes to be rid of it. Makes my life a lot less stressful. Totally pumped and ready to interpret all weekend. And I have totally booked myself with lunch with a friend, showing my car, coffee with a wonderful, kind, caring, supportive, brilliant interpreter and then deaf/hearing mix midsummer nights dream performance with the daughter of some friends from church. It'll be a busy, exhausting day but it should be fun. Weather should be good tomorrow. Then one more day to pack! I AM LITERALLY CAPABLE OF ANYTHING.

So while of course I am nervous and it seems my path to becoming the most incredible interpreting ever is a lot more meandering than some, I’m going to get there. I’m going to use this opportunity to constantly remind myself that I dont need everyones approval, I have the approval from the people that matter and *I know I can do this*.