hello, turtledove! i am happy to talk a little about this, although i should preface with i am big time not a theologian, and don’t have any answers for like, most of the questions i’m posing here. 

also, please understand that i come from a christian upbringing, so obviously i’ve been really shaped by that; for example, i’m going to use the “he/him” pronoun for god even though god is nonbinary. “him” is just how i was raised thinking about it and i truly believe that god dgaf about what pronouns we assign them to suit our linguistic norms. but as far as i am concerned, in an extremely literal way god does not have a gender or a sex, because god is god.

anyway, i’m in a kind of transitional space in what i think my faith is. i was raised kind of half-heartedly catholic, and then i chose to become episcopalian, and then, after a while, i wasn’t anything. i was extremely, “idk & idc” about the notion of whether god existed. i think i have always felt that probably there was Something Out There, but i just haven’t really been concerned with what it was.

and then, a few weeks ago, i suddenly missed god so much that it felt – grounding. i was ugly crying for like 45 minutes in my apartment, but like, in a very weird way, the intensity and specificity with which i missed god felt really clarifying with regard to the question of belief. 

i do. i do believe in god. i believe in a god who cares about us and loves us and has a plan for us.

that’s about where the clarity stops.

my problem is that i am by nature an intellectual person, which means for all this stuff my first stop is to read. but religious books are hard, and full of things that i reject; it’s not a question of belief, actually. 2 timothy, for example, has a few verses that are like, “don’t let women be teachers, bc women are the Worst.” 

my problem isn’t that i don’t believe that’s true (although i don’t); my problem is that i fundamentally reject any god or any belief system which does believe it. like … if i die and it turns out 2 timothy was correct, and god is like, “WOMEN AMIRITE!!!” i genuinely will face him and walk backwards into hell about it. i’d rather spend eternity having my eyeballs plucked out by birds than spend eternity in heaven with that asshole.

this has kind of been the impasse for me and god, for the past few years. we keep reaching this place where i’m like, “okay! you’re real. can you just clear up some stuff for me about your feelings on some stuff.” and god’s like, “[READ 7:15PM].”

recently, though, since CryingGate2k18, i’ve kind of felt like i’m getting different answers, in that dumb goopy way religious people talk about “getting answers.” i can’t really point you to scripture and i can’t really say anything except that this is how i ~feel about it, but it does genuinely feel like, for the first time, god is finding ways to answer me, and he is saying:

he created the whole entire universe and put you in it, on purpose. 

god finds you where you are, in whatever faith you’re in, including no faith. god isn’t a set of verses that you memorize and put on a protest sign – he is that thing that you feel connected to, whatever it is. whether it’s through religious faith or an atheistic connection to other people, it doesn’t matter. people are the ones who put walls between us and god and call them churches. 

at the end of the day, texts aren’t god. my problems with the bible (for example) are problems with the bible, not with god. it is easy to conflate the two, but they aren’t the same.

the only person who knows what god is saying to me is me. the only one who knows what god is saying to you is you.

everything that god made, he made with intention and with love. he didn’t make you to suffer. he didn’t make you not to be loved. any religion that tells you that you are Wrong and Bad is not speaking with the voice of god.

ludolefebvre answered: Kingsman is p awesome

cockmcstuffins answered: jenny’s wedding

khymnal answered: Charade - one of my favorite movies. You’d love the mystery aspect. It has the lovely Audrey Hepburn and dad jokes from Cary Grant.

reallywonderwoman answered: not a movie but i just love watching barefoot contessa

okay, leverage/cooked/barefoot contessa are all tv shows so thank you! but not toniiiight

i’ve seen kingsman, it is super fun :)

also seen jenny’s wedding but omg it sucks

A ‘how dare you’ AND a ‘rude’ my day is made.

Name: Ashlea Nickname(s): Frenchi Star sign: Aries Gender: Female Height: 5′4″ Favourite colours: Blue, Green, and Silver Average hours of sleep: Either 5 to 6 or 10 to 12. There is no inbetween

thank you so much for sending me questions! uwu

4. What genres do you most and least enjoy writing?

The genre i most enjoy writing is fantasy, no doubt. Whether is urban fantasy or classical i just have a ton of fun with it. Coming of age is also one of the genres i tend to gravitate more towards to. The ones i least enjoy are thrillers and sci fi

12. Are you open to prompts?

Yes, I am! I tend to ask for them at specific times, especially if i found an interesting prompt list but if someone hits up my askbox with something fun i’ll def give it a go

15. Have you ever made yourself laugh or cry while writing?

Oh boy, yeah. I think I cried a lot when writing a scene from the second chapter of the exboyfriends au. And my original coming of age novel has a lot of scenes ahead that will definitely make a mess of me.

22. How many WIPs do you currently have?

uh. 

Well in fanwork i have 5 wips in total and with that i mean fics i seriously want to publish. some day.

In original work I have two!

48. Any genres you’d like to get into but haven’t found the right fic?

I’d say noir fiction!

51. What are some things you’d like your favourite author(s) to write?

A MARAUDERS PREQUEL Umh, maybe this is not quite what the question is aiming for but i’d give my soul for reading like a contemporary Virgina Woolf’s novel like imagine Virginia living in this era.... all the beautiful prose about mental illness, the limitations of gender and so many genderfluid characters.... oh my god......... .. 

not only is it true, he used to do like, celtic singing competitions. gansey says “hey sing smth as we’re traipsing down this tunnel so we can keep time” and it’s great

Yes this is good. So many new possibilities.

Ronan singing Ave Maria.

Ronan singing bby Mathew to sleep.

Ronan serenading Adam.