#rocket cats

Medieval Rocket Cats! 

Who knew this was a thing?

Apparently the brainchild of some 16th Century German prince plotting to crush a peasant rebellion.

“You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have cats with frickin' rockets attached to their backs! Is that too much to ask? Throw me a frickin' bone here!”

One of the gaming blogs I read is the typically-NSFW Playing Dungeons and Dragons with Pornstars, written by Zak Smith. He’s got a very good article on The Toast today: German Rocket Cats: A Meditation.

German Rocket Cats are one of those things that come from a Renaissance manuscript and most people don’t think they’re real. In fact, the name is kind of a misnomer: the idea is that you strap an…

Bring on the rocket cats! Bizarre 16th-century artillery manual shows illustration of jet pack weaponry You’re a 16th century German prince plotting to crush a peasant rebellion, or perhaps you’re leading an army against the Ottoman Empire or looking to settle the score with a rival nobleman. What’s a guy looking for a tactical edge to do?

What weapons of war do you need to defend your territory? Consider the following from the Guardian:

You're a 16th century German prince plotting to crush a peasant rebellion, or perhaps you're leading an army against the Ottoman Empire or settling a score with a rival nobleman. What's a guy looking for a tactical edge to do?

The answer, of course, is rocket cats.

The illustrations from a 16th century guide on siege warfare show what looks like cats with jetpacks strapped to their backs. However, it turns out they're cats being used as fire bombs to set fire to a besieged city. Alex Moore from Death and Taxes wrote:

Researcher baffled by document written by artillery master Franz Helm featuring pictures of jetpacks strapped to cats and doves.

The world this week has been unsurprisingly melancholy and distressing – with Russia and Ukraine on the verge of a war, horrific deaths in China, and local Victorian town Morwell still suffering from the ill-effects of fire weeks after it originally started.

However, the world would never leave us without the weird and wonderful incidences either.

Corpse isn't actually a corpse

Having a corpse come back to life sounds more like something out of a movie, or some kind of tired inside joke if you’re an embalmer. But that is exactly what has happened.

Howard and Byron Porter from Lexington, Mississippi went to collect the body of an elderly man who everyone thought to be well and truly dead, see: lack of pulse and other life-like attributes.

It wasn’t until they placed the deceased Walter Williams into a body bag that he started kicking at it and began breathing.

The only thing they could think of causing the resurrection of Williams was a defibrillator that was placed under the skin on his chest which may have jump-started his heart.

Zombies, White Walkers and other members of the undead not such a strange idea now thanks to science!

American man wants to donate his penis, while alive

In what seems to be an ever present fascination with the phallic amongst men, an American man has offered to amputate his penis while still alive to have it donated to the Icelandic Phallological Museum.

Tom Mitchell wants his penis, endearingly named Elmo, to be the most famous penis in the world.

His penis also has the American flag tattooed on it, in case it being named Elmo was not enough enticement for you.

This debacle, as well as the penis Mitchell was/is competing with has been featured in the documentary, The Final Member.

Loose leopard leaps largely

If tattooed penises and corpses coming to life weren’t enough scary for you, you’d hate to be living in Meerut, India where a leopard has been running wild through hospitals and movie theatres.

The wild leopard was running through the city injuring several people. Schools and shops have had to close as the leopard remains uncaught despite several attempts by authorities.

Pope mini-me

There was also the ‘supposed to be endearing but just turned out to be weird and traumatising’ photo of the Pope’s mini-me. With some reporters adding that the Pope definitely isn’t Dr. Evil. Well, obviously, he is the Pope.

Plans to use cats in siege warfare

To finish up our news round up of the past week, texts and illustrations were revealed this week from a manuscript displaying cats and other small animals with what appeared to be rocket packs strapped on to them.

The illustrations were part of manuscripts dedicated to siege warfare.

The crux of the rocket-cats mission was to set fire to a castle or city that human-sized soldiers couldn’t get to.

However, Mitch Fraas of the University of Pennsylvania who researched the illustrations concluded that it was doubtful the cats were every used in siege warfare because they wouldn’t really work very well.

Happy end of week every body!