#roch rants

I know who you are. I know where you live. I know an awful lot of information about you that was compiled in a very short amount of time. Next time you want to break into someone's work truck and steal hundreds of dollars of equipment, don't leave behind your phone case that has your name and photo, your wife's name and photo, and the name of your personal business on it. You ripped off the wrong Mexican. I'm going to burn you down.

I’m so tempted to knock on his door.

So, it's been a long time since I've been active in here aside from the occasional reblog. There's been a lot going on the past few months and I feel I need to get some things off my chest. For the last six months or so, my work has been steadily becoming more and more stressful. I keep being given more responsibilities and more difficult tasks to accomplish. I've been kept in the dark when it comes to what projects are coming up in the future and where/when I may have to be moving again. I'm beginning to feel under appreciated for all the work I've put into this job. Because of the increased stress at work, I find myself having less and less energy when I'm home. I'm constantly tired, constantly aching. I'm already terrible at keeping in contact with my friends and family, but the fatigue makes it that much worse. I'm sorry that I haven't been in touch. As for my music... I haven't written anything since last year. When I finally find time and energy to sit at my computer and try to write, nothing comes out. I have so many unfinished projects that I can't get to sound right. As more time passes, the more I think it might be better to stop trying. I need a change. Sometime soon, I'm going to start exploring different job options. I need something stable. Something that doesn't require me to move across the state/country every year. Something that doesn't leave me completely drained when I'm home.

So I've been working at my new job site here in Uvalde for a little over a week now. I came out here because the superintendent at the last site told me I'd have the opportunity to really move up in this company. He said if I keep up my good work ethic, I could end up running my own crew of workers, maybe become foreman, and eventually move up to his position as superintendent. This past week, however, I've faced my first major obstacle on my path upwards in this company: my coworker. Now, this kid I work with is only a few months older than me. He's been working with the company for two years. I first worked with him in California, where I actually trained him how to use the GPS Survey equipment that we use. He was being transferred and needed to learn, so I was chosen to train him. Lo and behold, he was transferred to this project two weeks before I was, and made "lead man" for the GPS Survey crew. Meaning he's my "boss", despite not having any real authority over me. Today I came to fully realize that the way this guy operates is to make himself look good by talking trash and making everyone around him look bad. He takes every opportunity to belittle me and the two other guys that work with us, while boasting about how he is in a higher position than us (which he's not, by the way). Now if it were any other one of our group, I wouldn't be bothered much by it. But he's our lead man. Meaning at the end of the day, he reports back to the superintendent of this site and tells him all about how we're working. Meaning he has the power to tell the superintendent whatever trash he wants about me and everyone else to make himself look good. I've been told I'd be receiving my own set of GPS equipment and have my own crew to work with alongside this current crew, and when that happens, when I'm made lead man, I'm going to make sure that the only thing my superintendent hears about my work is the numbers we bring in at the end of the day. I know I'm a great worker, and I know when I'm able to lead my own crew, the work we get done will reflect that. I don't need to brag about how good I work, or say that no one else does work as well as I do. And when this other guy gets left behind because all he does is talk trash, I'm just going to keep on working.

And I end up not writing anything for about a week, sometimes longer.