meridianbarony replied to your post: It’s honestly embarrassing sometimes what will...
….. >.>…. do you have more on that au tho….
oh good lord i’ve definitely thought v much about it, and I have no intention of writing it as a fanfic because frankly I don’t know enough about metal or how investigations actually work, haha. BUT! here’s basically the whole Swerve/Ultra Magnus Forensic Investigators AU:
so I don’t remember if this was actually in the comics or if i just made this shit up my fucking self but like, metallurgy for cybertronians is kind of similar to dermatology, so it’s very much a medical specialization.
So from there i figure like, most of them would have jobs similar to dermatologists, i.e. helping bots that can afford it to have plating that is less blemished/isn’t as easily blemished or helping bots with legit issues with their plating and metals, etc. Some metallurgists go into more engineering stuff (so dealing with non-living metals) but it’s kind of the looked down upon side of metallurgy. Kind of like the blue collar side of it? It’s stereotyped at as where metallurgists who couldn’t manage to keep a job in a medicinal context end up. (which isn’t true, some metallurgists just prefer non-living metal work, but you know. stereotypesssss)
forensic metallurgy is definitely a thing, but it’s v different and skews more towards science than medicine, so it’s kind of like engineering metallurgy in terms of how it’s viewed. The main reason is because the VAST majority of the time, forensic metallurgists are dealing with non-living metal. Metal from weapons or from a crime scene, etc. Most of the living metal stuff -- aka corpses oops -- is handled by the medics who do autopsies and such. Forensic metallurgists would only ever be brought in if a specialist was needed, and a lot of the time the medics won’t bother because they’re “just” a metallurgist
Swerve goes into forensic metallurgy with huge aspirations. He has definitely glamorized it in his mind, and definitely expected to have a bigger impact on solving crimes. He genuinely wants to help! But instead, his work is dealing with evidence, and usually just in a routine way -- he hasn’t been able to actually discover any clues that breaks any case. Every year that goes by he sort of continues to drain him, because he knows he’s looked down on by the autopsy medics and his fellow metallurgists, and all he was trying to do was do some good in the world! To be a hero and find a criminal!
And then, one day, in walks Investigator Ultra Magnus
And of course Swerve already knows Ultra Magnus. He’s a big name around the... precinct?? This shit is why i could never write this as a fic, haha. But anyway, he’s famous in their circles. He’s the kind of bot who gets put on murder cases, who is so thorough and meticulous that he’s a pain in the ass, but damn if it doesn’t get results
And swerve just about robo-pees himself because Ultra Magnus is in his lab and asking Swerve if he received his request to help his investigation
Swerve says he’ll do it before he even has a chance to riffle through his paperwork to actually find the damn thing because he 100% did not see it
The case itself is basically that there’s a double murder. Each of the victims, either during or after the murder, were meticulously taken apart, piece by piece, down to their individual struts and circuit boards, and then the parts of both bots are thrown into and mixed up in a box and dumped.
One of the big problems is identification of the victims. Their plating was completely buffed and scrubbed of any paint and any identifying physical traits seem to have been ground away. As well, the processors and spark cases of the victims were not with the remains. So without any of that, identification was beyond what the autopsy medics could find.
The only reason that they know that it was two bots -- not just one bot, or just a mixture of multiple bots -- was because when all the pieces were separated and sort of pieced together with other parts that seemed to fit, there was just enough parts for one large bot and one minibot.
Ultra Magnus decided to bring the case to a metallurgist in hopes that with that specialization, they might be able to find anything to point to who the victims could be.
Swerve is very, very excited. Until he has the hundreds upon hundreds of body parts and pieces delivered to him and has to face the fact that there were actual living bots once.
Anyway.
Insert forensic procedural here where Swerve slowly goes through all the parts and Ultra Magnus shows up to his lab every. fucking. day. and it’s kind of intimidating and intense because swerve is just so star shocked! Ultra Magnus is the kind of guy he idolizes, someone who’s going out and getting shit done, and Swerve’s big mouth drops comments about how fucking cool Ultra Magnus is, like, constantly. Ultra Magnus sort of brushes it off at first, then sort of ignores it, and then after a while he kind of is like “ok but i’m not? That great at all?”
basically over time (and swerve eventually working up the courage to ask if ultra magnus wants to meet up for drinks after work and stuff like that) they get to know each other and it’s like? Swerve has always looked up to ultra magnus because he’s the big investigator who brings all the clues together and catches the bad guys, and mean while ultra magnus feels like he’s just constantly relying on other people, and doubting that he’s even necessary or important to the process, etc. and so forth. When swerve waffles and tries to be like “ok but you’re big and strong and can get shit done becuase of that!” ultra magnus reveals that he’s actually a minibot named minimus wearing a huge suit, shit like that
because i LOVE swerve and ultra magnus talking about their insecurities together.
Also there’s a second set of murders of a large bot and a minibot that happens somewhere in there and it amps up the pressure and drama because we’ve got a fucking serial murderer on our hands. and maybethere’s a letter left in the box that’s like “i’ve got an *literal optic pasted onto the letter* on you, hopefully i’ll see you soon” or something. there’s a definite fear that the murderer has a target and it could be someone who’s a part of the investigation
And swerve is like fUCK i gotta find??? something!!??? what if they already have their next victims lined up?!?! what if it’s someone on the investigation team?!???!??? aaaaaAAHHHHH?????????
Also though ultra magnus is like sWERVE IS A MINIBOT??? i gotta solve!! this case!!!!!!!!! because what if he’s in danger??????????
also swerve and ultra magnus are slowly sort of circling each other and developing feelings and are pretty sure the other one isn’t interested in them the same way
ANYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE BECAUSE DID YOU THINK I FORGOT? Swerve found with the first set of bodies that there were some spots where there was rubbing away at the plating, which were all pointed out in the autopsy reports as being additional places that the murderer took a grinder too. However, Swerve finds through metallurgy that the scouring on the plating is different -- most of the spots are from a grinder, but some are from gradual rubbing of metal against metal that would have had to happen over time. Swerve can’t really tell if they’re at all significant though, since that’s not that uncommon when you’re body is made of metal.
It’s only when he’s looking at the second set of bodies--
(which btw the autopsy medics were definitely like keeping swerve out of the autopsy because it’s their territory or whatever, he could have them when they were finished, and the second ultra magnus was like “???? why haven’t you started on the new frames????” and swerve told him, ultra magnus got the fuck up in that autopsy room and made it explicitly and loudly clear that swerve was to be part of the autopsy so he could see the frames asap and if there were any problems with that, they could take it up with him, and swerve fucking sWOONED)
--swerve notices more of the weird marks. everyone else sort of slowly makes their way out because the work day is over, but swerve is so focused because what if they mean something! even when ultra magnus comes to escort him home -- because he’s been doing that lately since he’s worried swerve might be a target and he’s v worried!!! -- swerve is like nah, i’m gonna stay overnight, i’ll see you tomorrow. because maybe this would finally be the break in the case. Maybe he could impress ultra magnus! maybe--
It’s not much later that swerve realizes what he’s looking at. The gradual wearing marks are all at joints and corners, as if the minibot was wearing the larger bot, so their plating would rub against the inside of the larger armor plates.
There haven’t been four victims. there’s been two victims, and they were both minibots who wore larger armors.
And Swerve loses his god damn mind because it’s Ultra Magnus! He’s the next victim!
I hadn’t though this part out just as much yet but i’m sure there’s a very dramatic and cool sequence of events where swerve is trying to contact ultra magnus while he’s racing down the route to ultra magnus’s apartment, and it’s definitely raining because that’s cool, and it’s as ultra magnus answers that he gets attacked and so the comm goes dead and swerve is gO N E he’s so freaked out
and he probably stumbles upon the scene, ultra magnus just laying there because the suit has been disabled somehow and minimus is stuck inside, and the murder has got a murder weapon (maybe like... a laser knife or something? that would go through the larger armor and into the one on the inside), and swerve is so scared and so brave and tackles the murderer. It doesn’t go v good for swerve since he’s not a fighter and he’s a minibot, but he distracts long enough that while nobody is watching, minimus manages to drag himself out of the armor and BLAM! shoots the murderer right through the head when he was about to kill swerve
it’s all v cool with these two perfect minibots just staring at each other, both so so worried about the other one and just!!!! robot adrenaline and shock!!!!!
Anyway, the day is saved, and once the two have been taken from the scene and checked out to make sure they weren’t harmed, minimus and swerve probably babble at each other about how worried they were about each other and then kiss because they fell in love
and also solved a crime along the way
And that, ladies and gents and other esteemed guests, is all this fucker wrote.
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