"Goodbye"
send 'goodbye' for the last voice message my muse leaves for yours before they die / accepting
she's fucked up . and not the normal kind of fuck up that she can bounce back from or put on ice . this is a monument to the idea that if everything that could possibly go wrong does , it's not going to be okay . the worst is that she shouldn't have come out alone . she should have waited so that jason could have her back . they’re partners . but stubborn as she is , desdemona couldn't let the moment escape her .
having managed to drag herself into the corner of an alley , her consciousness fading fast . this hurts . as blood seeps out onto the concrete there's a sudden panic that she's forgetting something ( how stupid . like she's left the stove on . ) all des knows is that she needs her phone and begins searching all of her pockets frantically , hoping to whatever god that it's not damaged because she needs it .
❛ jason . jason , jason , jason . ❜ scrolling through her recent calls the thought of what she's doing begins to be harder to hold onto . she just repeats his name under her breath until she finds a contact , although blurry , that must be his . dialing , she waits , begging him both to pick up and not pick up . on one hand she doesn't want him to know how much of an idiot she's been . on the other , she at least owes him an explanation . . . or something . . . and he doesn't pick up . time is of the essence , so desdemona settles for voicemail . ❛ jason . it's me . . . um . . . i fucked up . i went after them i . . . i fuck ! i'm so stupid . i'm so sorry . . . ❜ her eyes fall shut , welling with tears that feel wasted , if anything . god , everything she's done to lead up to this feels childish . the realization that all she's been doing is running . and now she can't anymore . ❛ i'm . . . ❜ pausing , she decides maybe it's best not to let him know where she is . only the important things . . . not a lot of time left . ❛ stop bein' an idiot . you have a family . . . i only had you . but you got them now . . . ❜ it's a struggle to breathe now and words aren’t coming out right . she chokes . gotta wrap it up . ❛ i love you . i did from day fuckin’ one . i love you . . . i'm so sorry . i’m so sorry . . . . g'bye . ❜
