Hey there! Iām Robert Biehn, and Iād like to tell you a story, if youāre up for it. Here I was again, inside the massive halls of the Los Angeles Convention Center in downtown LA. I was backstage listening to an entire audience laugh and clap as my friends and I just finished the final challenge in our elaborate, wacky, hilarious dating game show. Once again we were the number one panel at Anime Expo. Filling the room with thousands of people, and thousands more waiting outside to get in, we felt accomplished. Or at least I think they did, but I knew I wasnāt pleased. You see, I had been a part of that show since itās very first year, contributing in whatever ways our team needed in order to put on the best show we could. Every year we surpassed our previous yearās success, and oddly enough, every year I seemed to have less and less of a role on stage, or involvement in the show other than basically being a PA. This year, was the worst of them all. I had stuck around on my trip to California, missing a few other events and precious time that could have been spent on my books, just to be able to help out with the show. Otherwise, I honestly wouldnāt have gone to Anime Expo. I wasnāt booked to perform (by my choice), and didnāt have the budget to cosplay. Anyway, I stuck around to help. Which is fine! I love my friends and am happy to help them. So here I am, standing behind the stage, a roaring audience out front, and smiles of the crew from the satisfaction of our accomplishments dancing in the back. But, I was upsetā¦I was disappointedā¦I was bitter. For some reason, two individuals, that I am not really friends with, more acquaintances, wrote me out of the show and stage time entirely. The only time I got to grace the steps and stand on that booming board that displayed everything on it for the thousands to see, was when I was carrying chairs or rushing out on stage to put safety goggles on the contestants (yes, safety goggles). This didnāt seem right at all to me. Why would they write me out? Out of everyone there, I had been on a stage more than all of them combined. I get booked at conventions and other staged gigs, performances, hosting, balls, events, etcā¦every single year. So, it couldnāt have been my lack of experience. I tried to think of other reasons why. It couldnāt be my lack of consistency, since I had been there every year, days before the show, to help with anything and everything. Did I do something to offend the two writers of the show? If so, I wasnāt sure how. I only saw them at this event once a year, and other than that, we never had contact. None of it made sense. As I lingered on this point, I suddenly hear one of the main guys call out my name through the microphone. Now, mind you, everyone is already flooding out of the room because the show had actually ended. Still, I ran out on stage and smiled. A group of people cheered, people who had come to the show specifically to see me and get pictures and enjoy conversation afterwards. While I smiled for the loyal ones that waited for me, I was so upset that one of the writers of the show would do this. It was even worse than not bringing me up on stage at all, because to bring me up when everyone had pretty much already left and the show had already officially ended, was basically saying that I was nothing more than an afterthought to them. After the darling fans that were there were so kind to have shown such love and support for me, despite my peculiar belated appearance, I leaped off stage and took pictures with each of them. We smiled, laughed, and had good conversation. Every single one of them made some remark about how disappointed they were to not see me on stage, but was glad to be chatting now. That was the first moment pricked at me to warn of my own pride. In my head I thought about how wonderfully fortunate I was to have these beautiful human-beings here before me. They had waited in a gigantic line, likely for hours, waited through the whole show (which fortunately was very entertaining) and then waited even longer afterwards, just to see me. I felt guilt slowly seep in as I started to realize that my focus should have been on appreciating them, not whatever unspoken qualms I had with the two writers of the show. After the ones who had waited left, I was greeted with hugs and apologies from some of the crew, whom were also my dearest friends. They all were kind and apologized on someone elseās behalf that I wasnāt in the show. And thatās when it hit me again just how prideful I was being this whole time. No one forced me to go to that show, no one forced me to work backstage. No one forced me to do any of the things that I did that weekend for the show. I chose to do it, and despite the hurt of feeling like I was less of a person to the two writers of the show, I was surrounded by people who loved me, cherished my companionship, and genuinely treated me so well. I was ever so blessed. Not wanting to say anything out of place or rude, knowing I had a lot to work on within myself regarding these frustrations, I kept my mouth shut, head down, walked out and headed over to the dance to jump, sweat, and blow off steam in an enjoyable fashion. Thanks for letting me share this story with you! Once I got my eyes off of blaming or being hurt by others, and started to focus on my own decisions and how much I had right before me, I could enjoy my time at AX so much more. Keep an eye out for Part 2! In love & respect, ~Robert Biehn
