I donât remember what I said, and thatâs not whatâs important anyway: whatâs important is the aftermath. I was standing rather smugly before an audience at an academic conference where Iâd just delivered a paper on a poet of some repute, fielding questions along with the other panelists, when I saw the formidable white mane of C rise above the crowd. A scholar whose elegant suits and forceful manner gave him an aura closer to that of a Mafioso than one would have thought possible for a professor of literature, C did not look happy, and he was looking at me. âI find your paper irritating,â he said. âDonât misunderstand: I liked the other papers more, but didnât find them interesting enough to be irritating. Come to think of it, I didnât find your paper interesting eitherâitâs the nature of my irritation with it thatâs interesting.â
In the well-crafted spoken paragraphs that followed, C took my paper apart, but he did much more than that: he also disassembled his own reaction to my paper, pulled out the assumptions behind that reaction, held them up to the sunlight and saw what was beautiful and meaningful in those assumptions, and what was narrow and even cruel. It was magnificent. With the possible exception of the time an esteemed English editor took a cricket bat to some of my prose and beat it into a wet pulp from which he then formed a proper essay, Câs takedown of my paper remains my favorite literary chastening. It also showed me something one could do with a text that wasnât advocacy (it was about as far from advocacy of what Iâd said as one could get) and wasnât simply condemnation either. Nor was it disinterested or neutral explanation, of the sort Iâd tried to supply in my essay on Goldsmith, and it certainly wasnât any sort of pluralistic live-and-let-live move, either. In the encounter with an irritating text, C had taken a step back and seen not only the irksome text in front of him, but seen himself looking at it. It was as if he stood behind himself, looking at the back of his own head. Ekstasis, the ancient Greeks called itâstanding outside oneself. It was Câs interpretive ecstasy, and we watched in wonder.