#rnasp

So, i loved to laugh. The sound of my laugh is too loud, my friends always told me to decreas the sound of my laugh. But i never do that, lol.

Idk, but i feel free when i laugh so loud, it could make someone know that there was me there. And i think the characteristic of my laugh can be my signature, hahaha :D

Sebenernya hari ini saya gak niat bikin postingan dengan topik ini. Topik mengenai ‘Punya Pendirian Sendiri’ ini saya dapat karena tadi malem sebelum saya ngepost artikel ini saya di BBM sama seseorang yang bilang ‘kaya gak punya pendirian ae (saja)’, ya orang ini sudah sering membuat saya sadar dan sekedar merenung mencerna kata-katanya dia.

Saya coba bertaya ke diri saya sendiri apakah saya sudah mempunyai pendirian sendiri? Jawabannya masih belum. Jujur saja jika harus dihadapkan dengan hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan  masa SMA dan sebelum-sebelumnya, saya akan kembali ke sifat saya ketika masa tersebut. Saya tidak bisa mengambil keputusan tanpa persetujuan orang lain. Iya, saya sangat tidak mandiri saat itu, saya sangat bergantung dengan keputusan orang lain seringnya. Tapi jika dihadapkan dengan hal-hal yang berhubungan dengan saat ini maupun masa yang akan datang, insyaAllah saya bisa mengambil keputusan sendiri, saya malah cenderung yang mengambil keputusan jika saya dan teman-teman saya mengalami jalan buntu.

Trust me to be your trash, but trash me if you can’t trust! ―saya sendiri sih.

Kata-kata ini terbentuk pas lagi bingung ide gambar buat tugas mading fakultas. Dosen saya pernah ngomong kalo psikolog itu adalah tempat sampah. Nah, emang bener kok, buat saya tempat sampah atau yang bahasa inggrisnya trash itu adalah ‘a place to tell your sick feeling, so you can move on quickly’. Hahaha, mentang-mentang banyak yang lagi susah move on :D

But saya kali ini gak sedang bahas tugasnya seorang psikolog kok, tambah gak jauh-jauh banget sih sama tugasnya dia, saya niatnya mau bahas soal ‘apa sih yang harus kita lakukan ketika ada temen curhat ke kita?’ (berdasar pengalaman pribadi) Alhamdulillah dari dulu sampe sekarang temen-temen saya percaya buat curhat ke saya, dan itu salah satu motivasi saya masuk psikologi juga :D Tapi jujuuuur banget saya nggak pernah merasa kalo saya itu berhasil ngasih solusi ke temen saya. Nah itu! Tapi kenapa temen saya malah seneng cerita ke saya ketimbang orang lain, nah dosen saya pernah ngasih jawaban atas pertanyaan ini, karena terkadang seorang yang curhat tidak menginginkan solusi. Kok bisa? Back to topic dulu deh :D

I think my life is flat. Every my friends ask me to tell something about my life i always say, “There’s no something interesting about me, my life is flat.” It’s going better even after i say that, one of my friend say like this too, but actually i konow her life isn’t flat, because she often tell something to me. Alhamdulillah, she trust me to get her story J

But now, i realize that my life isn’t really flat. There’s little story who make it more interesting. I think it’s about a love story (but i swear this posting isn’t about love story at all). This story begin when came someone who i’ve liked before. I succeed to forget him before. But he came to me with more affection. He’ll succeed to made me smile. And finally i realize that i know i love him again. May be i’m who really consider that his behavior means affection to me. Because someday i realize maybe he just want to make me his runaway, or something like that. In this case i forget about the people say that ‘don’t believe a stranger’ altough this boy isn’t really-really a stranger to me :D

This boy succeed to make me crying him, but i know i never crying for Allah, i feel really fault but i don’t know how to do. I feel it’s not me, but i can’t make me back to really i’m. I known as a girl who really care to much about her study, a girl who don’t want thinking about her love story, but i break it today. I know i’m torn, nothing fine i’m torn.

But now i know, it’s make me know what the function of bestfriends. I’m calling them, and let them going to the mall, i want to forget my pain. And i tell my story to one of them (why i just tell my story to one of them? Because i still feel that my life is flat, altough isn’t really-really flat too :D and because i just believe one of them to get my story, finally i know why my friend trust me to get her story too before J ) But it’s not meant i never believe my another friends, no. I just feel better when i tell my story to one of them J And it’s true, after i tell my story my pain is little lost.  When we tell our story it’s same like we give someone our memory who we don’t want to forget this memory, therefore why we tell it, and it’s the reason too why after we tell our story our pain is lost J

My friends is always make me smile in every ways. When we’re on the school, we’re on the foodcourt, we’re on the shoe store, we’re on the department store, and we’re on my friends house, we can’t stop laughing about something. They are is really succeed to make me feel better, altough i not tell my story to another my friends, but they still make me feel better.