#rkbyrin

being surrounded by thousands upon thousands of books had always been relaxing to kang joon, although most people didn’t know that fact about him. he didn’t seemed like the intellectual type, and honestly his grades had never been the best. when he wasn’t fighting, he had been hanging around his friends during his school life. nonetheless books had a calming effect to him. that was probably why he had worked at elysion, the book cafe before (and because of the piano he was allowed to play). 

during one of his rare free days from training, he somehow felt like visiting a huge bookstore and walked through the tall shelves, while running over the spine of books with his hand. his gaze quickly made out a piano. the tall male curiously shuffled closer. colourful plates made of stone were put together in artistic patterns and covered the whole instrument. the piano seemed to be a exhibit, but a note stated customers were welcome to play it. 

so the royal trainee sat down, after pulling his hood deep into his face. stretching his long fingers a bit, he gently touched the black and white keys. everytime he got to play a different piano his heart begun to flutter out of excitement. closing his amber coloured eyes, he finally started to play a beautiful, yet sad melody  for others to enjoy. 

@rkbyrin​

he’s upset. there really isn’t much to it; jaehyun’s deflated and as much as he’s trying to look at this as positively as possible, he can’t. for some reason he’s embarrassed as well and angry and confused –– he’s feeling too many things. and he doesn’t like it. not one bit.

the results come a little expected, or maybe –– not really. because a part of jaehyun had hoped that he’d get the modelling offer; had seen it as some sort of alternative path for him to take that didn’t have him forcing paper work down his throat for the rest of his life. 

so he does what he’s best at (and it isn’t modelling, clearly) and pulls out a cigarette from his box. he’s not in plain sight, a little further away from the crowd behind him, before he lights the cigarette up and begins to puff. he’s somewhat sure that yerin probably wouldn’t be here until a while anyway (and it’s not like this little act of his is a secret from her).

jinyoung still remembered the salty air, the sand between his toes, yerin twirling around with her wet hair sending drops of water all over him. both laughing, seemingly worriless as they left all of their responsibilities back to the busy and suffocating city of seoul. more often than not, he felt like he did not belong over there, that becoming someone was far too strenuous. but his dreams, they were vivid. so vivid he could almost touch them if he could only stretch out just a little bit more... they were being shaped up as years went by, getting closer and closer to his goal every day. this was the reason why he pulled through exhaustion and financial difficulties, with the hopes that this would one day all be behind him.

but then they left busan and yerin stopped texting. stopped calling. jinyoung tried to distract himself with school, spending ridiculous amount of time in the theater of the library, wishing he would be able to catch a glimpse of her. but without the intent of meeting up, their departments were on opposite sides of the campus and the chances of seeing her were close to none. he knew she had family issues. he never had to go through his parents' divorce, could only imagine what it felt like. yet he'd been by her side all summer despite of it, satisfying himself with the few days they could spend together.

but he wanted more.

was it selfish? he was already dumped once before, yet as painful as it was, at least she dropped the news quickly. yerin's absence was getting heavier by the day and all jinyoung could think about was that she was slowly but surely distancing herself. to spare his feelings, maybe. he did try texting her to ask if this was her way of breaking up with him, but couldn't bring himself to. it felt... final. so he kept sending lame messages asking if things were okay on her side, if she needed anything. he became that person hanging onto a dead relationship. something he never thought possible, but only proved one thing: he loved her. he was in love with her and it hurt. it hurt because he could feel it slipping further away by the minute.

« WAITING HERE FOR EVERMORE » hongdae talent show performing evermore by hwang man-ik [00:50 - 01:50 / 02:11 - 03:11]

he'd been convinced by people in his class. as ambitious as jinyoung was, he did not necessarily wish to become famous by using any means. a talent show was exactly the type of lengths he wasn't willing to go to, except the boys had been pestering him for so long that he gave in just to make them stop. his friends were not all drama students, they actually came from various departments and came to know each other over the years through mutual acquaintances and parties, so everyone expected him to perform a scene from whichever play he was currently starring in.

that's also what jinyoung thought, until he changed his mind. all this stuff happening with yerin left him in the worst of moods, barely eating anything let alone sleeping. no matter how much he tried to distract himself, he simply couldn't get her out of his head and this affected even his acting. the scene he practiced was much too out of character for him to perform well under these conditions, and this was when the obsession came about.

a movie, but more specifically, a song. the movie he watched on his first official date with yerin after months of 'what-ifs', followed by their very first kiss. as much as beauty and the beast used to draw a nostalgic smile out of him, it now burned his heart to ashes. perhaps he needed closure. it was still related to acting after all, he did musicals before - they were not his favorites- and evermore was an emotional song which translated his current feelings perfectly.

he walked on stage with a great nervousness and a single red rose in his hand, carefully hidden behind a peaceful expression as he stood in the center, right next to the lee jonghyuk who asked him a couple questions like his name, where he's from and his occupation, all of which jinyoung answered with absolute calm. he told a little bit about the song he chose and how it spoke of  an experience he recently went through. after learning the title, lee jonghyuk nodded knowingly with a small "a girl, yes. i think a lot of people might relate to this." after an exchange of polite greetings, the first notes of the soundtrack were heard and jinyoung hold onto his mic like his life depended on it.

I'll never shake away the pain I close my eyes but she's still there I let her steal into my melancholy heart It's more than I can bear

@rkbyrin

jinyoung fell back on top of the large pile of clothes laying on his bed. he spent the last hour rummaging through his clothes hoping to find a nice outfit for his date but as usual, he was held back by high standards he forced on himself. there was nothing he hated more than going out and not looking neat and proper. jinyoung always thought that just because he came from working class parents didn't mean he had to look the part. he always acted above his social status, hoping it would eventually lead him towards higher ranks of society. perhaps that habit came from an inferiority complex. he had to work harder, be better than everyone else just to get equal opportunities.

he settled on an outfit despite not being one hundred percent satisfied, wondering if yerin would find him handsome. if he could pull a smile out of her, that alone would be enough to make his day. it would be the first time they officially went on since december. a lot had changed since then, except his feelings for her. jinyoung couldn't tell exactly what they were. they only kissed once and didn't speak for months after that. the butterflies and excitement of beginnings didn't have a chance to grow and just as he thought he could start dating again, yerin came rushing back into his life. that was when he realized that their story was far from over.

he left about twenty minutes earlier than the amount of time it would take him to get to yeouido. punctuality was important to him. especially for to meet someone like baek yerin. he stood at the spot they agreed upon over text since he had to hang up before they could talk about it. on his way, he came across a flower stand and bought one, holding it tightly in his hand while he waited for the young woman. as cliché as it sounded, he wanted to make her feel special.

❁ YEOUIDO FLOWER FESTIVAL                         

I Need You by Huh Gak & Zia Performed by Park Jinyoung & Baek Yerin

he's been in a few musicals before but never sang in front of a crowd as park jinyoung. it's stressful beyond imagination. the second he steps on stage, he feels exposed and vulnerable. a lot of eyes are on them, gazes piercing through him as if everyone is able to tell just how fast his heart is beating. he's usually confident in his element. hiding behind a character became easy for him. but there's nowhere to hide right now. he shoots a glance at yerin who's like a fish swimming in water, or so she looks. she might be nervous but jinyoung doesn't notice. he envies her calmness and experience with singing. why did he ever suggest they sing a duet?

but the more he looks at her and the more at ease he feels. he remembers why he wanted to do this. he was caught off guard by an impulse as they passed by this stage last time, asking yerin if she would like to do this with him sometime. it turned into an actual project very quickly. he suspects it's because they both like to spend time together, or at least that's how it is on his side. how he'd like to read her mind... but the idea itself is scary. what if he's disappointed by what her thoughts of him?

they both keep a safe distance, it's what they agreed upon. the lyrics speak of growing feelings of love and of a certain restraint in the way the two lovers still act around each other. it reminds him of this past fall and all things unsaid, feelings left unexplored. perhaps with the arrival of spring, their romance can finally bloom and florish into something beautiful. he looks at yerin and smiles. he would like that, but there's no need to rush anything.

the instrumental starts and jinyoung inhales sharply, trying to talk himself into letting go and appreciating the moment. it's no easy feat for him, who always puts too much pressure on his shoulders. they're doing this for fun. there's no end goal other than enjoy themselves. yerin sings her first notes and he's taken aback by her voice. he's heard it. he knows how good she is but it's different here, on this very stage. her voice sounds a lot softer than usual. he thinks he would never be able to do that. to adapt so easily to his partner and allow them to blend with each other so beautifully. he has a lot to learn still.

Is the word Love still not enough for you? Is my heart too dangerous? You have become my everything