#rjpm

Kung sana pwede pa. Kung sana maibabalik pa. Kung sana, may chance pa. Kung sana....

Hindi ko 'to gusto. Ayokong sumuko. Diba, sabi ko nga sa'yo, maghihintay ako? Kasi sabi mo mahal mo 'ko, diba? Sapat na yun para sakin para magpakatanga ng paulit-ulit sa'yo. Sapat na 'yon para ipaglaban kita. Sapat na 'yon para umasa akong maaayos na. Okay na, eh. Okay na. Masaya na 'ko nung kahit kaibigan lang kita, basta nakakausap kita, nakakamusta kita, nauupdate ako kung anong nangyari sa'yo.. Masaya na 'ko dun. Maghihintay naman ako, e. Kaso ayon nga.

Kahapon kasi, nagdasal ako. Pagpasok ko pa lang sa simbahan, nanggigilid na luha ko. Para kasing desperadang-desperada na 'ko na maglabas ng sama ng loob, eh. Alam mo 'yon, yung pakiramdam na si Lord na lang yung nakakaintindi ng lahat ng sakit at galit na nararamdaman ko. Ang bigat bigat na kasi, baby. Hindi ko na alam talaga kung ano yung tama at dapat kong gawin. Hehehe. So ayun nga... Nanghingi kasi ako ng sign sakanya kunh kakapit pa ba ako, o bibitawan na ba kita... Ewan ko ba. Sobra talagang lakas nung iyak ko kahapon sa simbahan... Parang these days, nakakasanayan ko nang umiyak kung saan-saan. Kahit nagtatrabaho ako basta naisip kita, iiyak na ako. Kahit naglalakad, kahit nagaabang ng tren.. Kahit saan, b, umiiyak ako. Parang gusto ko na ngang takpan ng kahon yung muka ko, e... Hahaha.

Tapos kanina, kinamusta ko yung kapatid mo.... Na sana hindi ko na lang ginawa. Hehehe.

Tatlong buwan na pala simula nung umalis ako.

To my guy.

Thank you. Thank you for the simple gestures you do to make me feel loved. And I know I don’t thank you enough for it, but I hope you don’t feel that I don’t notice, because I do.Thank you for sharing your world to me, for introducing me to your family, your old friends and new ones. Thank you for setting aside time for me. I know how tired you get at the end of every day, and yet it amazes me how much energy you still have to spend with me everyday. Thank you for telling me that everything’s gonna be alright, because sometimes that’s all I need to hear to stay strong. Thank you for being patient with me, especially on every outbursts and mood swings, every misunderstandings and fights and for not letting a fight last until the next day. Thank you for knowing what’s wrong without me having to really say it, and for trying to fix it without me having to ask. Thank you for sticking around. I know a hundred “thank you’s” wouldn’t be enough to show how grateful I actually am for the things you do to me and for me.

You make my bad days better, you make me laugh in the worse situations. You make me look forward to another day – because I know at the end of it, I will see again that smile of yours and witty humor. You are my blessing in disguise, you won’t get why, but you are. You are my constant reminder that I am not alone in this journey, and you will be my forever companion.