#rip voice

My voice decided to take a vacation. I sound like a weird sqeaky, raspy dogtoy when I try to talk in any tone but a whisper. So it’s pretty fun trying to say anything to my dad who is almost deaf at this point.

I'm loosing my voice so what did I think was a good idea? Going all out on Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine of course.

I saw them live. It was magical. Not the magical I expected: i didn't feel close or that they were real much. Maybe for a millisecond. But I felt something else. I felt the rush of shouting everything without remorse, all the lyrics that I love so much. I felt the resonance in my ears as the whole room shouted together and I felt it washed me of something. I felt that they played something for me. Just for me. That it was personal, as if they knew that's what I really needed to hear when I didn't. I felt the magic of recognising tiny references, to the wardrobe, to josh dun... It felt like a warm thankful hug. I felt welcome by the people around me. Well most of them anyway. I felt they appreciated it as much as I do, and it was amazing. Responding to Tyler was when I felt I he could hear. And seeing his smile in response made me so happy. Seeing his little dances that made the moment unlike any other concert made it so magical: tiny movements of ankles, bending down in the judge, leaning on piano in guns for hands, tinsy dance while playing doubt, playing piano with a base guitar on his lap. Stretching his arms as if telling us 'ta-da'. Just letting us sing because we drown out his voice anyway. Drowning out his voice... But knowing he's singing this with me here in the room. Meaning every word as much as I do... That was magic. It wasn't what I was expecting it to be. It was so much more important than just seeing them for real and hearing the music loud. It was hearing a room full of people confessing they are as broken as me, and knowing we all love these two the same. It was being a real part of the show. I screamed thank you so many times. I'm sure they hared me at least once.

sang unravel like four times in three hours ehehehhe

ONE DIRECTION WAS ABSOLUTELY THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE SO FAR. I waited 5 years to see those boys in the flesh and it was well worth the wait. Devoted fan since the get go. I will upload photos tomorrow.