#rip q

Toey: How did this happen? I called him at 8 this morning and pretended it was 11.

Pun: I wrote down a fake schedule for him saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon.

Peem: I set his clock to say it’s night when it’s really morning.

Phum: ...

Chain: We may have overdone it.

[Q bursts through the door]

Obviously don’t read this if you haven’t seen the episode yet.

I’ve had a lot of differing opinions on Quentin Coldwater over the years since I’ve started watching this show. At first I thought he was a bit of bore. I thought he was just another white male protagonist who didn’t quite know what he was doing and displayed some classically annoying “I’m most important” attitudes. I wasn’t his biggest fan at first, I admit. But the one thing I always admired about him from the beginning, was his heart. Even when he didn’t know what to do, and when he didn’t feel strong or powerful, Quentin was always driven to do what was right. At the end of the day, he always wanted to help people.

And as the seasons went on, I think there was no other character in this show that went through a greater transformation than him. He grew up so beautifully. He lost the woman he loved, he lost his father, and the fantasy world he grew up believing in turned out to bring him nothing but pain. But all of those things didn’t make Quentin cold. He didn’t hate the world, he still loved it. He found solace in the good things he still had, and he continued to fight for the people he cared about. He sacrificed himself to save everyone, without even a second thought. That’s who Quentin was.

My heart broke when he asked Penny if he had died doing something good, or if he finally found a way to kill himself. Quentin had struggled against his own mind for so long. He was in the dark for so long. I know how that feels. I’m there everyday. But even though he lost so much, he kept going. He didn’t die because he wanted to, he died so his friends could live. And I thought that was such a noble and incredible thing to see for someone who was always told he wasn’t good enough. 

And I thought his send off in this episode was beautiful. It was beautifully done, and he got to see how much he was truly and genuinely loved. And Penny helped to show him that his life made a difference, his life mattered.

I know a lot of people tonight, in particular those dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts, will have a hard time dealing with this. I’ve found myself crying a hell of a lot more than I thought I would. But I want all those people to remember that when all the voices in Quentin’s head told him to give up and die, he chose to live. And even Kady, who expressed the desire to die this season, chose to live. Whether it was for nothing at all, or the people they loved, they chose life. Please don’t forget that. 

Suicide Prevention Lifeline

is now the time to mention kate stewart has literally been thrown out of a plane??