“Alya called,” Adrien says. “She said you needed someone who speaks Mandarin? Well, here we are! Translators, at your service.”

“Uh…” Marinette looks from him to Kagami.

“I’m more fluent than he is,” Kagami says. “Call it an educational field trip for him.”

“Right. Ah…you must think I’m totally lame, being part-Chinese and not even being able to speak any of the dialects…”

“Not really,” Kagami says. “It’s not as uncommon as you think.” She heads inside with Adrien, who takes the opportunity to look around at Marinette’s house, what with this being his first visit. It’s small – his mansion is probably triple the size of it at least – but it’s nice and cosy and looks lived-in, rather than cold and empty like the mansion or suffocating in lavishness like Chloé’s hotel. The living room has pale pink couches, and the kitchen is a little cramped, and it’s the most beautiful house Adrien’s ever seen in his life, and he would actually sell his soul to live here for just one day.

“Uh…should we go?” Marinette says. “My uncle’s competing in the World’s Greatest Chef tournament at the hotel. We were just about to head out!”

“Gorilla can drive us,” Adrien says.

“Will he mind?”

“His job’s to protect me.” Adrien lets himself smirk. “If I’m with you, he’ll be protecting me, won’t he?”

Marinette giggles, and Adrien would literally do anything to hear it again. “Very true. Let’s go!”

Once they’re in the car, with Adrien sitting in the front to allow Marinette and Kagami to sit in the back on either side of Marinette’s uncle, Kagami speaks.

“A pleasure to meet you, Cheng Shifu,” she says in Mandarin. Adrien can understand her, sure, but it takes his French brain a few seconds to process and translate. In the meantime, she’s moved on. “Is this the first time you’ve visited Paris?”

“Oh, I came once before thirty years ago,” Master Cheng replies. “You speak Mandarin fluently.”

Kagami bows and replies, “Thank you, Cheng Shifu. My mother wanted me to learn it.”

“I speak a little,” Adrien says in Mandarin slowly, paranoid of making a mistake after Kagami’s smooth conversation. “Not as good as Kagami.”

“Ah. My French is very bad.” Master Cheng suddenly switches to French. “Not like your Mandarin.”

Adrien, Kagami, and Marinette blink at the same time.

“I thought you couldn’t speak French,” Adrien says.

“Me too!” Marinette says with a self-deprecating giggle.

“Oh, no, not good,” Master Cheng says. “My French is very bad.”

At the hotel, they’re greeted by André Bourgeois while Alec Cataldi commentates from nearby. Adrien’s totally unfazed by the cameras and the crowd, but Marinette looks way out of her depth and Kagami’s shoulders are rather stiff as she holds herself tall. Adrien wants nothing more than to grab Marinette’s hand and squeeze it to reassure her, but that would be the silliest move with all the cameras and people around. The last thing he needs is to start rumours that she’s his girlfriend.

Not that he would be opposed to the idea. But that’s not really his call to make.

“Cheng Shifu, what dish will you be honouring our panel with today?” Alec says, appearing next to them in the blink of an eye. Adrien, the first to gather his wits, quickly translates for Master Cheng.

“My dish is Celestial Soup,” Master Cheng replies.

“Wow! I've heard so much about your legendary Celestial Soup, but today we'll actually get to taste it!” Alec says.

“Would you like me or Adrien to accompany you, Cheng Shifu?” Kagami asks in Mandarin.

“No thank you, Kagami,” Master Cheng replies. “Cooking needs no words.”

As her uncle follows Alec to the kitchens, Marinette turns to Adrien and Kagami and says, “Thanks for this, you two. I’m totally sorry I bothered you for nothing. I really thought he couldn’t speak French!”

“Hey, it wasn’t any problem,” Adrien says. “I’m always happy to help you, Marinette.”

Everything’s all well and good until a certain blonde mosquito shows up.

“Ah, it’s my favourite person in the world, Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” Chloé sneers at Marinette. “I mean, seriously? Does your uncle really expect to win the contest with a soup? It’s not even a main dish! Please! Doesn’t he know how to make sushi like everyone else?”

“Confusing Chinese and Japanese people?” Kagami says, crossing her arms with a stony face. “I’m not surprised, from someone as blonde as they come.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Chloé crosses her arms as well and leans into Kagami’s space, smirking. “Oh, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. I tend to get like that when people I don’t like crowd my Adrikins.”

Adrien clenches his fists. Why is Chloé so adamant that he’s going to come crawling back to her? Is she really that self-centred that she doesn’t see that he’s got other friends? Or is she just in denial? Before he can tear into her, Kagami beats him to it.

“Marinette, are we holding a gun to Adrien’s head and making him be our friend?” she says. Marinette pretends to think.

“No! I don’t think we are!” she says. “Wait, are we constantly throwing ourselves on him and threatening him that we’re his only choice of friends?”

“I don’t believe so.” Kagami and Marinette exchange smirks.

“Hmph!” Chloé flips her hair. “Well, you should know that I’m on the jury. Your uncle won’t be getting my vote, that’s for sure!”

“Well, he doesn’t need your vote to win!” Marinette says. “There are other judges with much better taste than yours! Huh, silly me, you don’t have any taste! I mean, you can’t even pick the right makeup for your features!”

Kagami’s smirk widens as Chloé snarls and stomps off in a huff. “And that’s the match to Marinette. Nice work.”

“Thanks!” Marinette says. “Let’s go sit down and wait for the judging!”

.

Adrien smells a rat. Or maybe it’s the soup. Either way, when the judges start spluttering and spitting out their soup and Chloé doesn’t even taste it, he’s immediately on guard.

“Uh, I don't think this soup would fare well with our guests!” André says and holds up a dinner plate with three stars. “I'll give it a three out of ten.”

“Seeing as it's pretty unappetising, maybe I'll pass on the tasting.” Chloé holds up a blank plate. “But I'll still give it a zero!”

“Ugh! It's like kissing the singer from the Zombeats!” Jagged Stone gags. “Negative zero!”

“I'm sorry, but it's inedible,” head chef Marlena Césaire says. “I give it a one out of ten.”

Alec also gives it a zero, giving Master Cheng an average score of point eight out of ten. Adrien despairs for Marinette’s poor uncle, but when Chloé stands up and walks off with a smirk and a purple petal falls onto the table, his despair turns to sheer rage.

“You see that?” Marinette points at the petal. “That brat’s got something to do with this!”

“I’d like to say you’re wrong, but after everything she’s done lately?” Adrien seethes. “I’m sure it was her.”

“She can’t even accept her defeat,” Kagami says coldly. “What a pathetic coward.”

They notice Master Cheng leaving the room with slumped shoulders, and Marinette runs after him. Adrien and Kagami arrive just as Master Cheng is saying, “Shame is on Celestial Soup. I will never be World's Greatest Chef!”

“No! Uncle Cheng!” Marinette starts to follow him, but she stops herself after a moment. “Oh. Losing face in China is shameful, isn’t it? My mum told me that once.”

“You’re right,” Kagami says. “Giving Cheng Shifu some time alone is the best thing you can do.”

“Some time alone” seems to constitute akumatisation, judging by how the sound of Chloé screaming from the dining room pierces the air only minutes later. The three of them exchange startled looks.

“I’ll go and check on my uncle and make sure he’s not…” Marinette leaves the sentence hanging as she dashes off around a corner. Adrien and Kagami, meanwhile, investigate the dining room, only to find Chloé surrounded by the judges while her father holds her in a death grip. When the judges turn to look at him and Kagami in unison, Adrien notices that their eyes are now orange with yellow pupils.

“Good idea, Hawkmoth!” says a large man with a chef hat on his spiky blond hair, black skin, a sleeveless orange suit, and red and white face paint. Okay. Whoever Hawkmoth is, he must be just as much of a damn anime nerd as Adrien is, except that Adrien wouldn’t even dream of doing something like…this. The man points at Adrien and Kagami. “Seize them! Ladybug and Reine Nuit require incentive!”

“Hey, I’m incentive enough for Ladybug!” Chloé snaps. Before Adrien and Kagami can react, they’re grabbed by Jagged Stone and Marlena. When the akuma marches to the elevator, the three prisoners are dragged along with him; once on the roof, Chloé is tied up above the pool, hanging from a makeshift pulley system, while Adrien and Kagami are bound and tossed onto poolside deck chairs. With a little wriggling, Adrien manages to pull his phone out of his pocket and tap to start a livestream on the Ladyblog, then angles the camera towards the akuma.

“Cut off all exits!” the akuma orders, summoning large cauldrons of orange liquid from his food bag. His possessed servants grab the cauldrons and pour the liquid down the sides of the hotel; it looks very sticky, judging by how slowly it trickles down.

“Sorry you got roped into this,” Adrien says as the akuma’s servants start to add summoned ingredients to the pool water to turn it into a yellowish soup. Kagami death-glares him.

“For your health, I’m going to choose to believe that wasn’t a deliberate pun,” she says. “But I don’t see why you’re apologising. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.”

“You are going to taste Kung Food’s soup!” the akuma says to a recording drone. “Everybody will become my servants, and Kung Food will become World’s Greatest Chef!”

“Kung Food?” Adrien stares at the akuma and his hideous outfit. “Wait, is Hawkmoth a weeaboo or something?”

“You’d think I’d be used to people like him just acting like Chinese and Japanese cultures are interchangeable because we’re both East Asian,” Kagami says flatly. “Clearly, I underestimated my capacity for rage.”

“And really, making him look like a cross between Naruto and Dragon Ball Z?” Adrien says. “Neither of them even have anything to do with food!”

“I’m guessing Hawkmoth saw that he was Asian and decided that that equals anime,” Kagami says. “Because as you said, Adrien, he is a weeaboo. If anyone Naruto-runs after this atrocity, I’m going to throw myself off this rooftop.”

On the screen of the drone that Kung Food is watching, Adrien catches sight of the tiny figures of Ladybug and Reine Nuit in the lobby of the hotel. A purple butterfly mask outline appears over Kung Food’s face for a few seconds.

“Superhero flavour will make Brat Soup even more powerful! You!” Kung Food points at Jagged Stone. “Go capture them!”

“Yes, Master Kung Food!” Jagged Stone runs off…Naruto-style.

“Uh, Kagami, let’s not do anything rash,” Adrien says cautiously when Kagami eyes the railing.

“Death would be better than this pain.”

“If you die, you can’t stab Hawkmoth when Ladybug and Reine Nuit finally find out who he is!”

Kagami pauses, then slumps in her deck chair. “For once, you said something wise. Fine. I’ll live for now.”

.

“I spy something yellow and orange –”

“Kung Food,” Kagami says. “Like the last two times. Why are we even playing this game, anyway?”

“Because I thought it’d be more exciting to be a hostage,” Adrien says. “But we’ve just been sitting here for the last half an hour. I’m bored.”

“Tragic,” Kagami deadpans.

“At least your hair isn’t totally ruined!” Chloé snaps. Adrien ignores her. “Oh, come on, Adrikins! Why haven’t you come crawling back to me yet?”

“Uh, because I have other friends?” Sure, Adrien’s supposed to not be on speaking terms with her right now, but it’s not like he’s got anything better to do.

“What, so you just dropped me the minute you went to school? Like I’m nothing?”

“I never wanted to drop you. But considering that you bully everyone else, I didn’t have a choice.”

“I wonder how long it’ll take her to realise that you’re still live-streaming this,” Kagami mutters.

“Ah, temperature is just right,” Kung Food declares. “Time to add main ingredient!”

At his words, Chloé starts to descend into the soup. “Nononononononono!” she cries, while Adrien grimaces and looks away because he may not be friends with her anymore, but he doesn’t exactly want to see her boiled alive. But in a fraction of a second, there’s a flash of silver out of the corner of his eye and then Chloé is plummeting, into the soup if not for a blur of red snatching her up and landing on the other side. “Ladybug, what took you so long? Just wait until I tell everyone –”

Ladybug ‘accidentally’ drops Chloé. “Oops,” she says innocently, while Kagami snickers.

“Uh, you two seem fine over there,” Reine Nuit calls as Ladybug tries to reason with Kung Food. “Just…sit tight, yeah?”

“Sure, now that there’s finally action to stream,” Adrien says, bouncing in anticipation. Kagami raises her eyebrow at him. He just grins back sheepishly, then whips his head back around to take in the action as the heroes charge Kung Food. “Finally! Thank god I’m not on YouTube anymore.”

“Are YouTube comments really that bad?” Kagami says.

“Put it this way: the comments telling me to kill myself were the mildest ones.”

Kagami blinks, then seems to make the decision that she’d really rather not know.

“Ow!” Reine Nuit yelps when she gets red dust blown in her face after reaching for Kung Food’s chef hat.

“Haha! Like it spicy?” Kung Food says.

“Should we provide a running commentary for the Ladyblog?” Adrien says.

“It would feel more productive than just sitting here like a useless hostage,” Kagami says. Her eyes widen when Kung Food pulls a humongous pizza sword out of his food bag. “Buon appetito, I guess?”

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug catches a cheque machine.

“You know, I was about to laugh at how ridiculous that is, but then I remembered that Ladybug’s had weirder Lucky Charms before,” Adrien says. “I remember the first ever one she got was a wetsuit!”

“Cataclysm!” Reine Nuit says as Ladybug wraps a long strip of cheque paper around Kung Food, pinning his arms to his side. She slashes his food bag, making his pizza sword dissipate, and knocks him to the ground, allowing Ladybug to grab his chef hat and free the akuma.

“Your days are over, little akuma! Time to de-evilise!” Ladybug catches the dark butterfly with her yo-yo, then purifies and releases it. “Bye, bye, little butterfly!” She throws the cheque machine into the air and cries, “Miraculous Ladybug!”

Adrien stretches when his bonds are dissolved by the ladybug swarm, then snatches up his phone to catch them as they envelop the hotel to get rid of the sticky yellow substance coating it.

“Pound it!” Ladybug and Reine Nuit declare. As Ladybug comforts Master Cheng, Reine Nuit waves at Adrien.

“Heya, Ladybugreste!” she says. “Love the new blog, by the way! Too many YouTube comments telling you to go kill yourself?”

“Eh, those were the tame ones,” Adrien says, trying not to throw himself off the rooftop in sheer joy at the fact that one of his idols keeps up with him. “And the site kept nuking my videos for graphic violence.”

Reine Nuit snorts, then grins at Kagami. “You got tangled up in this? You might wanna be careful or you’ll end up an adrenaline maniac like Agreste here.”

“There’s a difference between me and Adrien,” Kagami drawls. “I have more than one brain cell.”

Reine Nuit gives a long, loud laugh as Adrien glowers at a smirking Kagami. The cat hero then salutes with her beeping hand. “Later, weirdo.”

Ladybug helps Master Cheng to his feet, then waves at Adrien and Kagami and swings her yo-yo. “Bug out!”

.

“Master Cheng's delicious Celestial Soup has received the highest marks overall, making you the final winner!” Alec announces after the jury has tasted the soup in Master Cheng’s recompense round. Adrien, Marinette, and Kagami beam at each other and give a round of applause. Nearby, Chloé is scowling with her arms crossed, no doubt still sulking after Adrien’s jab about her getting kicked off the jury for sabotage.

“Ah, and it will soon be the Mayor's Special on the restaurant menu of my prestigious hotel!” André says, taking another sip.

“Rock ‘n’ roll!” Jagged Stone bellows. “I can’t wait to get home and write a song about soup!”

Master Cheng bows to the judges and says, “Thank you, but no longer Celestial Soup. Now called Marinette Soup.”

Marinette gasps, while Adrien and Kagami clap harder. “Thank you!” she stammers in Mandarin. Her accent is appalling, but it’s still understandable.

“You’re welcome,” Master Cheng smiles.

“Come over here and stand alongside your uncle, the World's Greatest Chef!” Alec says to Marinette. Adrien nudges Marinette, who dashes to hug her uncle, and Adrien’s heart skips a beat because with that dazzling smile on her face, Marinette has never looked more radiant than now.

“You’re a lost cause, Agreste,” Kagami smirks.