#rip bones

Y E S .

I was talking to @gallathegalla when this request came in, so this is a collaborative effort where Paps and Red are pretty much all G.  x]

I’d also like to take this time to encourage you guys to send imagines to G because they have great headcanons/writing.  

UT!Sans:  

Once you’re done informing him of this, he looks at you and suddenly grins wider.

“looks like your bones and i have something in common.  we’re both just doing the bare mineral work.”

After your reaction, he gets a little more serious and encourages you to lighten your habit – but he also does some research of his own because he wants to be better informed.

UT!Papyrus:

He freaks out.

Yeah, all of your soda has been replaced by milk.  He read about it in a book once, so he knows it’s good for strong bones!  Your fridge is full of milk and so is his.  You pop open the top of a can of soda you had stashed away –

– and it’s milk.

F I Z Z Y  M I L K .

How?  

Papyrus says he bought you some chocolates, but they’re actually chocolate flavored calcium supplements.  This is your life now; he’s going to save your bones from melting.  

UF!Sans:

“welp, that sucks.”  Red shrugs.  You look fine to him, so he’s not too concerned.  Worse things have tried to kill him, of course.  When he notices you’re annoyed that he’s not taking this very serious, he shrugs and offers his sage advice.

“why not take up smoking and see which kills ya first?”

You call his bluff and grab for his cigarettes in his jacket’s pocket.  “h-hey, ok, let’s not!”  He sighs, still holding onto your wrist.  “maybe try to be healthier or some shit, ok?”

UF!Papyrus:

The can of soda you were holding explodes in your hand.

Edge is standing there, furious, and you see a small bone attack impaled in the nearby wall.  You’re covered in sticky soda, and yet he’s the one that’s pissed off about it.  

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO MELT ON MY WATCH, HUMAN!  CEASE THIS UNHEALTHY BEHAVIOR AT ONCE!”

You’re not sure the lasagna he cooks for you that night is healthier than the soda (you’re pretty sure you just picked out a shard of glass), but you don’t tell him that.