the night would be peaceful if not for the awful onslaught of days before it. her spine aches from hours of being pressed into a wall in a rounded slouch. exhaustion nips at her heels, pressing on her eyelids, pulling her shoulders ever closer to the floor. she’d been small for so long. voices rise across the house, fitting on top of one another to create an incoherent symphony. her roommate and company have decided to solve the vought fascism issue in one night. emma has bravely decided to let them.
her attention crawls back to the restless creature beside her. this is the part where she’s supposed to reply, to crack a joke, to say ‘𝚜𝚊𝚖, 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢!’ and shove the fear away for a different day’s meltdown. but something awful has lodged in her throat. it would be nice if that something would be poetic, metaphorical, the weight of all things left unsaid! with her luck, it’s probably something very physical and very disgusting : leftover grey matter or ever-present bile. god, she's fucked it. she’s seen the inside of a man’s ear canal. she stopped a different man from slaughtering an entire family. she doesn’t even have access to her youtube channel’s bank account. hysteria hits like a bad high, the abandoned room ringing with the sharp sound of her laughs. ❛❛ sorry. ❜❜ a gasp for air, her body wracked by another laugh. ❛❛ sorry. really. it’s not funny. fuck. ❜❜ emma lolls her head to the side: desperately searches for sam's eyes. their shoulders are already knocking together, but she shifts to press more of her arm against him. tears dot her eyes and she doesn't wipe them away, only smiles a miserable, watery smile. ❜❜ it’s just- what money? ❜❜