I Am In This Episode and I Don't Like It - Emily in Paris, Season 1, Episode 6 Recap (Spoilers!!)
Poster from IMDB
Birds having sex. That is how this episode opens. Shots of birds fucking. We then cut away from this to Emily lying in bed, unable to sleep because Gabriel and Camille are having extremely loud sex. I have heard neighbors through walls and the people above me's bed banging on the floor, but never have I heard the people who live below me (like Gabriel and Camille do to Emily) having sex. They must be really loud. Also, based on this scene, Emily sleeps with full makeup (including lipstick) and her hair perfectly curled. I honestly think the production team wanted this show to be mocked.
The next morning, Emily is again eating at a café with Mindy, who is whining about how her dad wants to buy her a BMW and a mansion. Her life is honestly so hard. She then reveals to Emily that she was on a singing competition show in China, where she failed miserably and became a meme. Not to repeat myself, but I think the show's goal is to be mocked.
Emily gets to work, and we learn that, because they are meeting with an important couture designer that day, she was told specifically to wear all black. At least the show is self-aware with how terrible her outfit choices are. They arrive at Pierre Cadault's studio, and it is clear that his aesthetic is definitely not all black - more beiges and pastels, just like the rest of Paris. I think the writers were thinking of New York when they chose all black; someone should tell them fashion isn't the same everywhere. Cadault comes to meet them, sees Emily's tacky Eiffel Tower bag charm, and calls her "ringarde" or "basic,â and then storms out of the meeting. A bit dramatic, if Iâm being honest, but also, the bag charm was pretty basic:
That night, Emily is minding her own business eating dinner alone when some (not even cute) man begins talking to her about whether a couple at another table is mother-and-son or dating. After a cut to show that time has passed, Emily finishes the story of her meeting with Cadault. The man, named Tomas, says that it is "ringarde" to call someone "ringarde" and then says he doesn't think she's basic - he clearly does not know her very well. He then starts a pretentious speech about known sexist pig, Pablo Picasso, and a bunch of other buzz-word names. Tomas is a know-it-all asshole and reminds me of every guy I have ever dated. Emily is impressed, nonetheless, and sleeps with him. Do better, Emily. Also, while I love Lily Collins, she is not great at acting in sex scenes; it was unbearably awkward. By the way, even Emily's bras have pictures of Paris on them:
The next morning, she runs into Camille, who tells her that she can hear Emily just as well as Emily can hear her and Gabriel. The fact that they all hear each other, but not any of the other neighbors, is pretty solid evidence for my no-one-else-lives-there theory.
At work, Emily brags to Julien about how Tomas quoted poetry to her, and Julien rightfully says that's boring. As an English major who has had to deal with many men interested in poetry, it's only hot in theory. In practice, it's boring and annoying, and they always expect you to be so impressed that they can quote the same Shakespeare sonnet that everyone had to memorize in High School Brit Lit. Emily then learns that Sylvie is holding a meeting without her and not speaking to her because she lost them the account with Cadault, one of Sylvie's favorite designers. Apparently, Emily is not the only person at this office with no sense of professionalism.
Emily meets Mindy at their bench in the park, and they are again talking about Mindy's singing career. I cannot express how little I care about this plotline. Mindy says she has too much PTSD from her failure on "Chinese Popstar" to audition for a local jazz club, but when Emily asks her to sing for her right there, Mindy is belting in the middle of the park with very little convincing. (Here is the moment where I take a break from my criticizing everything to say I absolutely love Ashley Park's voice. Please go listen to "What's Wrong With Me?" from the Mean Girls Musical soundtrack.)
That night, Emily and Tomas run into Gabriel and Camille outside their building, because of course they do. (It was at this moment that I realized the actor who plays Gabriel, Lucas Bravo, could very easily fill the Armie-Hammer-sized hole we currently have in society.) Being her always-friendly, always-oblivious self, Camille forces Emily and Tomas to go on a double date with her and Gabriel. Gabriel sees right through Tomas's bullshit, which is probably easy to do since Tomas is blatantly rude to Gabriel because Tomas is the type to only be polite to people he wants to fuck. Back at her apartment, remembering her conversation with Camille that morning, Emily tells Tomas that they need to be quieter when they have sex. They are (somehow) even louder than before.
Because the whole premise of this show seems to be that Emily lucks herself into things, while walking to work the next day, she notices in the corner of a sign for a ballet that Pierre Cadault designed the costumes and that opening night is that night. After Sylvie refuses to go with her (and rips up the original tickets), she invites Tomas to join her.
As she's leaving for the ballet (in an absolutely ridiculous outfit), she runs into Gabriel again. Are you guys as tired of reading that phrase as I am of writing it? We may have to turn it into a drinking game. Gabriel tells Emily the truth about what he thinks of Tomas, calling him "an asshole masquerading as an intellectual." I loved that line. He also tells her that she is "wasting her time with a guy who doesn't deserve her," and um, what exactly is so great about Emily?
When Emily arrives at the ballet and meets up with Tomas, he asks her if he is playing a joke on him by bringing him to see "Swan Lake", which, according to him, is "for tourists". "Swan Lake" is actually my favorite ballet, so fuck him. Emily then has a moment of clarity and finally realizes what her horniness had kept her from seeing the last three days; Tomas is a pretentious douche. (Emily actually said "snob" but I feel "pretentious douche" is more precise). Tomas responds by calling Emily "simpleminded". When he realizes she's offended by this, for some reason, he tries to better the situation by calling her "simple but beautiful". I believe the sound I made at this point would be called a "guffaw". When she still isn't happy, he tells her to go to the ballet, and he'll meet her afterward and "treat her to some amazing sex." She flips him off and walks away, which is actually a lot more polite than how I would've responded in that situation.
She then finds Cadault and explains to him that she always wanted to be Serena van der Woodsen and would buy bag charms because it was the only thing she could afford from the designers that she worshipped. Cadault turns out to be a Gossip Girl fan, which is revealed by having him spoil Gossip Girl. Seriously, he just straight-up SAYS who Gossip Girl is. I know it's been 8 years, but there should've been a spoiler warning or something. I already knew, but what if I hadn't? It was rude. Anyway, the next day Sylvie gets a call from Cadault that he wants a meeting with her and tells her to "bring Gossip Girl". Everything always works out for Emily in the end.

















