#rfr39

Overall, I think hooking up can only be positive if both parties understand that it is just that: hooking up. In many cases, a relationship will not come from it, so emotional attachment is detrimental to the terms set from the beginning. It is also essential that the woman is doing it for herself and her own enjoyment, and not because she feels that she is expected to by her sexual partner, her friends, or anybody else. Lastly, it is important that she is enjoying herself and getting what she wanted, because sex is not just about the man.

Last week, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor came to speak to the students of Rutgers. I felt so honored to be able to listen to her speak. Her main points throughout the interactive question and answer session were revolved around hard work, dedication, and, most importantly, passion. At one point, she told us that she’s never been one to care about what anyone thinks, as she climbed the bleacher steps despite Secret Service instructing her not to. In addition to not caring about the negative things that her peers said, she also talked about having a very strong support group. She is very family oriented and they keep her grounded, although they were starstruck when she first became a justice. Sotomayor talked about some of the challenges that being on the court created but also talked about ways that she and her loved ones combat them. She acknowledges her role as a justice is historical in that she is the third woman and the first Hispanic person, but she doesn’t let that get in the way of or sway her decisions while she’s at work. Sotomayor was a very funny person who was so passionate about her work and deeply in love with her family. I felt so blessed to see her not only because of the role that she plays in the functionality of this country, but because she had valuable lessons that are applicable to anyone’s life. 

This documentary was extremely informative and offered insight into the lives of those who are silenced. I enjoyed watching it and learned a lot about intersex communities in the western world.

Another very important point that she addressed was that, like other phobias and isms, it often exists on a microaggressive level, and most people do not mean to be fatphobic. Much of fatphobia occurs inside of one’s mind, whether it is of a person who is not overweight, but internalized in overweight people as well. I think that microaggressions are as dangerous as if not more dangerous than overt words because many people who never think about them believe that they are not a part of the problem, and therefore perpetuate it. As a society, we need to embrace all body shapes and types. I think that we need to stop arbitrarily attaching emotional or personal attributes with physical ones. Although it is hard to dismantle this system of misconceptions, it would benefit everyone, especially people who are overweight, who constantly under an eye of scrutiny.

Overall, I feel that this was a message that I, and many other young women in the room, really needed to hear. I feel that a lot of young people, women especially, struggle to find a balance in faith and progressive beliefs that often contradict religious backgrounds that we may have grown up around. Rabbi Reed said that it was okay to disagree with others even of the same faith as you because it is your belief. Agreeing with her, I think that young or liberal people think that religion and liberalism cannot co-exist; these three women prove that they can and religion can even reinforce this mindset rather than hinder it. Another important thing that all three women emphasized was free-thinking and questioning traditional belief systems, and I think that by doing so, many young people can find comfort in a higher power should they pursue any sort of spirituality.

The most important thing that I got out of this reading is that sexuality, or the labeling of it, is fluid for many people. By that, I mean that it doesn’t remain stagnant and consistent for all of a person’s life as she discovers what she likes and is attracted to over time. The pressure some of these women felt when they were forced to pick whether they were gay or straight seems extremely frustrating and erases an entire group of people. However, as they experienced more of life and were more open with themselves, they labeled their sexuality to fit them at the time (but most of the women who identified as bi kept that identification later on in life). The stigma surrounding the bi community is a persistent problem, and even today we and the media focus more on representing those attracted to one sex (whether it be the same or a different one), disregarding people who like more than one sex by calling them “selfish”, “confused”, and more. This article was important for me, as well as others, to read.

Today’s plenary was an interesting one. The speaker didn’t speak overtly of feminism but it seemed, instead, to be a core value in her system of beliefs. It was prevalent when she talked about being assertive in an environment of mostly old, white men. It was apparent when she talked about understanding other cultures, both domestically and abroad, in places like Haiti and Bangladesh. I especially liked how she noted that there is no right or wrong answer, but rather that they are more complicated than what meets the eye, and that it’s important to continue to ask questions in order to get closer to the truth. As important to her as asking questions, it seemed, was empathy toward subjects with a degree of objectivity. She was engaging and interesting, and while not being a Feminist Speaker, I loved hearing what she had to say.