#rfaromance

2) omg ray and suit not knowing what cats are. they miiiiight also know elizabeth bc they're in the RFA chat too but. who knows. anyway now I'm imagining the first week at mint eye just perpetually babbling to ray about my old cats (bc i will talk about them at any opportunity and will not shut up) and he has no idea what I'm talking about but just keeps smiling and nodding so I'll keep talking

3) also now thinking of MC telling saeran what a cat is. either suit drops cat suit off when he comes to apologize bc he doesn't know what's about to happen to him or cat suit ends up following/going with them to the cabin and it's just like

mc: omg!! a cat!!!

saeray: hm?

mc, already crouched down and making pspspspsps noises with a hand out: cat! there's a cat here!!!

saeray: oh, is that what it's called?

mc now needs to teach him everything about cats. gotta pspsps at them. they meow. they purr. they mrrp. they're soft. they can turn into liquid at will ("no not literally but they're so bendy"). possibly mildly demonic (affectionate)

"I know that an apology won't make up for everything I've done to you, but... I owe you an apology. You deserve one, even if you don't want to forgive me. In fact, it's probably for the best that you don't forgive me in the end," Saeran trailed. As hard as it was, he had no choice but to look you in the eyes and own up to his mistakes.

That was the price of his punishment. He needed to atone for his sins somehow... and this was the only thing he could think of. The whisper in the back of his head from Ray's weak voice told him it was the right thing to do, and while he accepted that, it still felt shameful to come back to your room and admit it.

The guilt clung to him like an anchor, and if you were a ship that was tied down by his sins, he wanted the chance to set you free from his harbor. You needed to be free from Mint Eye, as did Ray, and the only way to make that happen was to own up to his actions and fight hard against everything he once believed in—

Or, rather, that he was forced to believe against his will.

It didn't matter if he... if Ray... if whatever person existed before the two of them was innocent. He wasn't innocent and he needed to own up to it. He needed you to know he wasn't a good person, but he was going to fight for you if it was the last thing he did. Even if he was the worst monster in this place that he could think of, as long as he could save you and Ray from this hell neither of you deserved, it was worth it.

"I forgive you," you said, only a brief moment of quiet lapsed between the two of you before you opened your mouth. "I know you're not the bad guy, Saeran. You hurt my feelings, yes, but to me...? It looked like you were hurting yourself more than I ever was. That's why I'm not so upset with you... it's why I'm not upset with Ray, either. He also... did a lot of things he shouldn't have, but I forgive him, too... because my heart... my heart belongs to both of you."

There was a sharp pain that cut through his chest like a knife. Those were dangerous words you said and he couldn't say them back. The fact was—he wasn't good enough for you, and he never would be. At least, Ray would keep you safe. Ray would protect you once you left this place... and he... he would disappear, maybe for good, for a long time until he didn't feel like he was a risk to everyone around him that needed him to be strong in a real way.

Not the way Rika wanted him to be.

There was a quiet mewl from the inside of his chest, and he looked down at the coat. Right, he forgot he came to this place not just to apologize but to ask you to do him one favor. This suit jacket that he wore to feel strong as he needed to be wasn't meant for him. But, the dark colors did truly belong to someone much stronger than he was.

"…What was that?"

It was strange how that someone wasn't even a human.

"...Hold on."

He unraveled the buttons of his jacket and quietly placed the unruly beast on your bed that refused to leave his side ever since he made the mistake of feeding it too many times in the garden. Now, he had no strength left to look you in the eyes. "This monster is named Suit. I can't take care of him anymore because I'm going away... and I don't know if I'll be back. Could you..."

The loud purring noise came from deep within the animal's chest. It only took a fraction of a second before Suit tried to sprint back into Saeran's embrace. Saeran grimaced and hesitated to touch the little monster again. This would be the last time he'd ever see this beast of an animal. This animal that wouldn't abandon him for some reason... a pesky and dumb little thing.

"Where are you going?" your voice was barely above a whisper in the quiet room.

"To make things right," he answered. Saeran looked at the door as if he needed to make a break for it before he suffocated in the feeling of desire. He couldn't have happiness. He couldn't let himself relish in this moment. He couldn't have this... he wasn't good enough... he had to let go even if it hurt. "I won't hurt you again. Ray will do just about to keep you safe once I get you two out of here... so... Be gentle with him and he'll do the same with you."

The pathetic sound of a desperate mewl escaped the beast. It didn't want him to leave. Saeran didn't look down at Suit. He reached over to pet his head one last time. "Sorry, pesky little beast. This is it for you and me. [Y/N] and Ray are much better suited to taking care of someone like you."

"Saeran... wait... you don't have to—"

Saeran quickly sped in the direction of the door and tried not to look back over his shoulder at the two of you. Attachments weren't ever a good thing, and it was just his luck he had three of them that made it so hard to leave.

He gripped the doorknob as the pounding in his ears grew louder and louder by the minute. He had to go. There was no more time for him to waste. "If you meant what you said about me before... please, take care of him... for me."