#reyofhope

hes   been   trying    to    tell    her    this    whole    time   ,     &    now   that   there   is    all    the    time    in     the   world    ,    finn     is   anxious    to    mention    it     to     her    .     perhaps    he   should     have    asked   for   poes   guidance    on      this     one     .      no    he    was   right   from    the   beginning    ,    hes    got   to   do   this   on   his   own   accord   .   they    are    alone    now     just    the    two    of   them   ,    now   or    never   .     ❛   think   we   can   talk   now   ?     we   are    kinda    alone  ,   for    now   anyways  ....   if   you   are   not   busy   or   anything    you    know  ,    which   is   fine   if    you   are ....     ❜    

     When Ben handed his crossguard lightsaber over to the Resistance fighters who met him outside the camp to escort him into their base, he felt like a part of him was being ripped from his soul, like he was losing a lung along with his precious weapon. Gritting his teeth, he marched silently with the guard until they reached the hub of the Resistance camp. He thought he glimpsed his mother under one of the tents... but he just wasn't yet ready to speak with her.

Instead, he turned... and his eyes fell on Rey, the one person in this camp beside his mother who might look at him with something other than pure hatred and loathing, even though they hadn't parted on the best of terms, wrestling over Skywalker's lightsaber with the Force.

reyofhope said:“ in case any of you needed a reminder this place is a twisting nightmare "

If there’s one thing he doesn’t need, it’s a reminder of all the awful that is Jakku. The heat. The sand. The fact that there’s no decent water if you’re penniless. The random jerks who beat up on the defenseless. Everything about Jakku sucked like a black hole. So why are they here again?

He shielded his skin with his jacket, but there was nothing he could have done about the sand. There’s sand everywhere. In cracks & crevices he didn’t even know existed. Safe aboard the Falcon, Finn pulls off his boot, tips it over && makes a face at the small mountain of sand that slides out. One boot. So much sand.

𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬'𝑺 𝑵𝑶 𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑻𝑼𝑨𝑹𝒀 𝑰𝑵 𝑫𝑬𝑪𝑬𝑷𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵. d’acy is familiar with the act, was trained in the act, of performance, knows the importance of an eminent brave face in combat as much as strategy and technique. she’s a fighter first and foremost, and she has tried repeatedly to suppress her own fear for the good of the resistance. it’s IMPOSSIBLE, of course. she can only ever manage to conceal it, to hide it behind militaristic neutrality, but isn’t that the same thing? 

two people have convinced her otherwise. the general knows, always knows, when her commander’s faith is wavering; she may not say it, but over the years d’acy has picked up on the subtle movements which act as communication between the pair over things they never speak of. leia is never quite so direct as rey, the scavenger who impressed them all so fiercely, and for a brief moment larma hesitates, struggling for response.

❝     ── I’M TERRIFED.   ❞  FINALLY.  it’s a quiet confession, forced through in spite of a depth of personal resistance. there’s no point in holding on to the illusion now, not when rey has already broken through it. she can be honest with her, and - frankly - it’s a relief.  ❝     i’m terrified for my wife. for whatever the end of all of this might be. BUT. i can’t claim a monopoly on that. you must be just as scared.   ❞ 

it’s  not  exactly  a  secret  that  poe  is  not  a  morning  person. if  it  were  up  to  him,  which  most  rehearsal  days  it  was  not,  he  would  stay  in  well  past  sunrise.  but  rey,  for  reasons  he  was  worried  to  ask  about,  was  always  up  &  about  before  he  could  even  think  about  starting  his  morning  routine.  he  wonders  if  some  of  it  is  anxiety  about  the  show.  he’s  told  her  little  parts  of  her  past,  things  slipped  in  as  casual  that  make  him  want  to  hide  her  away  from  the  world,  &  he  can  only  assume  it  has  to  do  with  that.  he  usually  doesn’t  make  a  fuss  when  she  starts  to  squirm & inevitably  take  beebee  on  her  walk.  it  warms  him  to  think  that  they’re  making  a  routine  for  themselves.  it  just  makes  the  inevitable  all  the  more  real  however  ;  there  time  together  is  limited.  soon,  rehearsals  will  be  over.  they  will  be  opening  in  a  matter  of  weeks.  he  will  no  longer  be  able  to  feign  sleep  as  she  moves  around  his  apartment.  he  doesn’t  want  to  think  about  it.

“  she  can  wait,  you  know.  “ his  voice  is  muffled  with  sleep,  curls  sticking  up  in  all  directions  as  he  stretches  his  shoulders.  the  sun  has  not  begun  to  come  up  yet.  “  stay  a  little  longer  ??  “  at  some  point  in  the  night  his  arm  had  gotten  trapped  under  finn  & it’s  asleep  now.  he’ll  be  feeling  that  later.  as  he  turns  his  body  to  face  her,  he  can’t  help  thinking  about  how  vulnerable  they  have  made  him.  it  doesn’t  scare  him  though.