#revoide

generally,  anything which makes her feel useless or a hindrance.  casca as a child had this preoccupation with the way things were,  naturally.  she and her family would go days without eating,  lived in extremely poor conditions,  and she’d been raised to lessen those burdens  (+ that everyone had a part to play and each mouth was not inherently worthy of getting fed).  when she was saved from the nobleman by griffith / or moreso i guess when he empowered her to pick up the sword for herself and protect her own life,  it was a shifting point in that she actively began to fight against the thought that terrible things were only natural for her.  we still see her succumbing to that notion once in a while through the series  (in a way,  her dissociation is actually i suppose a callback to this sort of thinking?  i want to explore that in more detail elsewhere though,  because it’s besides the point).

❝     ----------------------          kill  them.      why  not?        ❞

char: hhh

@revoide​   prompted:   ❛   we’re too smart to talk to god .  ❜  .  +  corinthian

                  PRETTY. ODD. PROMPTS   /  𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 !

                       𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒  𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇  𝐈𝐒  𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌      /   the  blood  that  runs  down  his  arms  ,  that  covers  his  hands  is  warm  ,  at  odds  with  the  winter  he  expects  to  find  in  her  chest.  the  smile  that  graces  his  features  could  be  seen  as  indulgent  ,  affection  ,  like   a  knife  shines  in  the  light.  fingers  trace  an  artery  ,  blood  cooling  in  the  crease  of  his  elbow  ,  pulls  at  skin.  gives  a  spark  of  pain  to  match  the  girl  splayed  in  front  of  him.  a  pale  echo  of  what  they  may  have  once  been.    “   ah  ,  i’ve  met  gods  ,  tedious  ,  boring.   but  PLAYING  at  god  ?  “   hand  cups  the  heart  resting  beneath  the  birdcage  of  bone.  the  beat  so  steady  despite  everything  ,  despite  pale  hands  as  vice grip  around  the  still  pulsing  organ.      “   your  heart  beats  so  fast  ,  like  a  hummingbirds  wings.  “   his  smile  is  wide  ,  the  teeth  on  display  white  and  sharp  ,  the  grin  stretching  his  face  divorced  from  the  affection  he  had  come  to  know  for  the  void  vessel  before  him.   “  are  you  scared  charlotte  ?   “ 

it all feels like a haze .   a forgotten memory the way they interacted lately .   as if their falling out was only a nightmare .  loss of love at the tips of his fingers .   within his reach if he only tried harder .   or well that’s what he’ll repeatedly tell himself .  blaming himself was much easier than blaming her ,  although that was a small lie .     he did blame her .      but not with a burdening hatred like he had for himself .

their  smiles  and  laughter  mixed  in  with  some  music  softly  playing  in  the  background .    it  was  almost  unbelievable .    calvin  can’t  understand  it  but  there  was  a  layer  of  eeriness  to  it  all .   shadows  and  creatures  of  dark  all  now  real  to  him .    everything  hidden  has  become  more  clear ,    and  with  this  in  mind  he  wonders  what  she’s  able  to  do .    what  else  can  she  manipulate ?     jaw  clenches .   there’s  an  odd  tension  after  all  was  said  and  a  familiar  silence  filled  the  apartment .        “     char-    charlotte ,   uh  ...      ”        with  charlotte  he  never  knew  her  intentions .     the  sweetest  smile  could  conceal  the  the  venom  she  would  infect  him  with .   enter  the  bloodstream  and  control  your  puppet .

                     “     char …       yeah?                       i - i’m glad i ran into you ,                  i thought i’d never see you again .  ”

he’s standing on the ledge .   a building he’s created for the sole purpose of jumping .        a  scared  boy  not  ready  for  possible  consequences  of  his  words .     no  place  to  turn  .   the  only  way  out  is  down  isn’t  it ?     don’t  talk  me  out  of  it .     a  man  to  speak  his  mind .     it  came  as  natural  and  freely  as  a  bird  flies .     though  the  aftermath  was  never  fun .     the  sad  thought  of  this  feeling  being  so  familiar  with  charlotte  enters .    how  often  he  feels  his  stomach  turn  the  moment  he  might  show  signs  he  truly  cares  for  her .     maybe because he fears she doesn’t feel the same .      the way the words   “ i love you ”   sounded coming out his lips was almost poetic .   every word dripping with  true feeling .     as if he’d experience what we strive to .     the sonnet of words paired together so carefully to create a red flush in her cheeks .   an effort to see the crease of her lips .   how she scrunched her nose when laughing .  the beauty in her ,   making him learn to adapt seeing in the dark .        if  he  spoke  as  often  as  he  got  lost  in  thought  maybe  they’d  learn  more  about  the  people  they’ve  become .    new  likes  and  dislikes .     the  typical  back  and  forth  of  a  conversation .    calvin  can’t  stand  the  way  words  would  form  in  his  mouth  but  fall  to  the  ground  as  soon  as  his  lips  parted  to  speak . 

“   sorry i d - didn’t mean to uh          ”        i didn’t mean to disturb the peace that was being created between us .     the natural ways we’d become  intimate .        his  stammering  was  halted  by  a  swift  kiss  given  by  charlotte .    it   calms  him ,    eases  his  mind  and  allows  him  to  chill .    eyes  close ,    and  soon  enough  he’s  leaning  into  it .     as  she  begins  to  pull  away  he  can’t  help  but  put  his  arms  around  her  waist  quickly ,     just  as  though  she  wouldn’t  be  there  when  his  eyes  opened .        please don’t  leave me ,  okay  ?        it’s  unrealistic  to  ask  that ,   but  wishing  never  hurt .                …           and he waits .    for her to explain he needed to stop rambling or stuttering   ...   for her to say it might’ve  ...        

    “  got it .  talk a lot and you’ll have to shut me up .  ”

“- And you did it wrong, but does that really come as a surprise to anyone here?” He gestures grandly to the hall that consisted of them and two chairs, pausing for a moment to appreciate how his raised tone echoed off the rafters above.

“You, my dear, have a tendency to let your impulsive actions do the talking. I needed that man breathing, at the very least, and instead, I got delivered a body and a half-assed explanation.” Sylvester throws himself down in one of two chairs in his usual exaggerated fashion before crossing his legs and fixing Charlotte with a look one would give a reprimanded child or a naughty dog. Not one of mature fashion.