#rev talk

TW DEATH, PARENTAL DEATH AND BRIEF MENTIONS OF TORTURE & SUICIDAL IDEATION

PAST (this got away from me a bit, skip to RESURRECTION for the most relevant section)

·         Life was difficult for Harry after the war (hmmmn, wonder what it would be like to have a difficult life?). He couldn’t bear the idea of going back to Hogwarts. Not only did the memories of everyone who died there haunt him, but it felt pointless. He didn’t belong there anymore, sitting in class, trying to pretend everything was the same. Harry signed up with the Aurors instead, in the direct aftermath not seeing another path for himself than to continue what he had started in protecting others. The work didn’t exactly make him happy, but it was a fulfilling purpose, helping him get up in the morning every day.

·         The lightning scar was never the worst of his wounds. The memories of the people who’d died (for him), the feeling of Voldemort in his head, the sounds of Hermione screaming under torture, Remus, Tonks, Fred and Colin dead in the Great Hall were all what truly lingered. He tried his best, but he couldn’t help but think if he’d been smarter, done things a better way, they’d still be alive. They could all still be alive. The things Harry had done himself – such as the torture of Amycus Carrow - haunted him less, but he isn’t proud of it either. There were days he thought he’d never get out of his own head, once trapped there by Voldemort, now only by himself – days he thought something had gone wrong inside of him and he simply wasn’t built for anything but fighting a war. It was of course Ron and Hermione he leaned on most, who helped him recover from the very worst of his depression and PTSD. Harry was never good at talking about the things that bothered him most, but they were there for almost all of it. They understood. It was Ron never failing to bring him a cup of tea or make a stupidly brilliant joke that only Harry would find hilarious, and Hermione coming to him to talk over every cause she was championing (and that, essentially, Harry knew he would also be championing) that made the difference. They were still here. Still alive. That was enough. Teddy too was a great source of healing for him, not just a reason to keep living, but also a presence that made Harry enjoy life again. While Andromeda was mostly their primary caregiver, Harry regards Teddy as his fourth and eldest child.

·         When Kingsley soon approached him about Auror training, Harry didn’t hesitate. It was what he had always planned on – the only thing he’d planned on. And it was a natural extension of the work he’d already been doing, helping with the trials and the remaining Death Eaters. For someone not expecting to survive, there was something healing about participating in the clean-up, in the rebuild. In a way, he recognised that there was something sorrowful in his choice to become an Auror. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see a different path – he ended up occasionally guest lecturing at Hogwarts, for NEWT DADA students and enjoyed it. But at the end of the day, that life was not for him. It might have been restful – but Harry knew he had never been a restful person. He never would be. At least now it was on his terms, his choice. He could go on doing the only thing that truly kept him sane with all he had lost – ensuring that those he loved would stay safe. That’s not to say it didn’t take a while to find a healthy balance – at first Harry threw himself into the work, caring little for his own wellbeing when the only thing he feared was losing momentum and having to think about the trauma of the war. Because after all, the war might have been over, but the society that had created it was still very much alive.

·         Becoming an Auror required a lengthy adjustment process. The war was over, yes, but it was time for politics to begin, and there, Harry was out of his depth. He had old scars, too, from dealing with the Ministry and a lot of distrust. He’d never been good at working with others – who weren’t Ron and Hermione, but luckily, both were still at his side. What was far more difficult was learning to accept help from other people too, and additionally, getting used to the slow and bureaucratic way Aurors had of solving problems. Harry couldn’t just throw himself headfirst into danger anymore, surviving on skill, luck and nerve – he had to listen, obey orders and co-operate.

·         Furthermore, a lot of his co-workers weren’t particularly receptive to the relentless way Harry and his friends pursued reform. The famous Golden Trio were still inseparable, and frankly, unstoppable when they had a cause. It was mostly Hermione leading the way, but Harry wasn’t going to sit back and participate in more of the same Ministry corruption either. For him, it was the personal that took foremost priority. The rehabilitation of Azkaban was something he assisted Kingsley with – removing the Dementors and improving living conditions for the prisoners. He also contributed to the reform of legal trials – nothing more painful to him than the memory of Sirius’ twelve years in Azkaban without a trial, the lost years they could have had together, and the life stolen from his godfather.

·         That said, Harry himself was far from perfect. While he wasn’t especially guilt-ridden over his needless and anger-fuelled torture of Carrow, or the other, more practical uses he’d made of the Imperius Curse during the war, he couldn’t in good conscience fail to recount the whole story, everything he did, when telling Kingsley what had happened. Kingsley organised a pardon for war crimes, which he then promptly buried at the Ministry for political reasons, knowing that people didn’t want to know this about their hero and it would only create trouble. He wanted to protect both Harry and the new government. Harry went along with this, hating the idea of undergoing more publicity, more attention, and following Kingsley’s lead to let it rest. In a way, Kingsley became his new Dumbledore for many years after the war and to him, Harry was a loyal soldier while he and the Trio began to find their own footing and political views as public figures. However, his use of the Unforgivables remain a secret even now, something not known to many outside of Harry’s closest circle of Ginny, Ron, Hermione and some of the Order. When Harry thought of that time and what he did, he remembered the danger of his temper, of what he was capable of if he gave into anger, of where it could lead him. That, more than anything else, was what haunted him about what he’d done and was a warning he planned on passing on to his children when he considered them old enough – yet he often put it off, afraid of what they might come to think of him.

·         Before that, he and Ginny rebuilt their relationship, finding their deep connection to still be alive and strong after the horrors of war. It was Ginny who got him without Harry having to speak, and it was Ginny who could make him laugh again. She understood the trauma in his past and had never changed the way she looked at him. They eventually got married and supported each other as they grew their careers, Ginny in professional Quidditch and Harry in working his way up the ranks of the Aurors until he became Head Auror. They had three children, whose names were picked out to honour the past: James, Albus, and Lily. As his family grew, Harry truly felt for the first time in his life that he was putting the past to rest, finally letting go of all his pain. His own childhood had very little love in it once he was sent to the Dursleys - as a parent, he wanted to ensure his children grew up with everything he didn’t have, as well as give them the best of him, usually at his most patient and even-tempered around them, if also a little overprotective.

·         Harry was disappointed when Ron left the Aurors – he was so used to relying on him as his partner. It was hard not to feel a little abandoned even though he understood why Ron chose to go and was happy for him – but Ron probably never realised just how lost Harry felt without him, for a long time, not being able to look across and see him at the next desk over. He continued to work closely with Hermione, treating her office as an extension of his own (“I feel smarter in yours, alright?”) and always politically aligned with her, a near unbeatable team. His friendship with Ron didn’t change – they were still brothers. Harry had never had a family until Ron, and soon after, the Weasleys. With his marriage, it was official, as was Hermione being his sister but Harry had felt the truth of that long before. Still, it was the happiest time of his life, having what he’d always craved so much. His nieces and nephews were also well-loved by Harry, who if at times could seem a little more reserved than the other Weasley uncles, was no less affectionate. And it was that older Weasley generation around whom he’d always been able to open up – the younger Wotters were the same. He loved them all, but the worst kept family secret was Uncle Harry’s soft spot for the children of Ron and Hermione, it being something of a joke around the cousins that Harry simultaneously tried very hard to appear impartial and was very bad at concealing his feelings.

·         The extent of his trauma was a much better kept secret – something Harry never liked talking about beyond the essentials that he had to share with them. Protecting his family was his highest priority, but his fame and position made it difficult. Harry tried to keep his kids from the spotlight as much as possible, but even he knew it was hopeless. The press had never stopped being interested in the Boy Who Lived, even once he was a man. For himself, he hated the publicity - personally, he could never quite get over the lies and the harassment he’d faced, the way he'd been treated as a spectacle to dissect all over the front page. But Harry had also seen firsthand what it was like when false information and dogma was fed through the news and so professionally, he knew it was crucial to speak to them – in his capacity as Head Auror only. His most important rule, which he made clear at every interview with his sternest expression and very coldest voice was that he never spoke about his family. All he ever wanted was for his children to have safe and happy lives, and he would have done anything to make that happen. It was why Harry struggled with Lily’s ambition to be an Auror. At once painfully proud and fiercely worried that she would find the cycle of violence and darkness too much to bear, it took time for him to accept that she was just as stubborn as he ever was.

ORDER

·         The rise of the Wraiths made Harry furious, perhaps more than even he had ever been before (and he was always very good at anger). The sacrifices he had made, that the people who had fought and died had made, were not going to be made into nothing. He reformed the Order not just to fight, but to win, knowing that once more, the Ministry was too large and corruptible to be trusted. And this time, he had no intention of doing it in secret, beyond the covertness necessary for survival. The Order itself would be secret, but Harry was going to speak out. This was their world now. They weren’t children, and they weren’t powerless.

·         He depended on his old circle to be his fellow leaders, Ron and Hermione, Ginny, Luna and Neville – there was no one else he trusted more, and together he had faith they could end this, for once and for all this time.

·         He took the codename Hart, a reference to his stag Patronus - hart being a term for an adult red deer, was also chosen for Gryffindor red, but of course, he had to endure a lot of jokes mostly from Ron and the Weasley brothers about being the heart of the Order. All of which Harry dismissed with an eyeroll – he wasn’t special, certainly not more than any of them. They were going to win together.

PROPHECY

·         When Harry heard about the Prophecy, his determination to fight didn’t change, but he also felt a deep dread, an ever-increasing disconcertment at the way history seemed to be repeating itself. He wasn’t afraid of having to fight Voldemort again – he would do that prophecy be damned. He didn’t need a prophecy to tell him to do that. But Harry was afraid of the past repeating itself, of more people dying for him, of them making a sacrifice for someone who wasn’t worth it. How could he, how could one person, be worth all the death that lay in his past? The worst of it was the fear of who could be lost next – his children, the very best of his life; his wife, who was the greatest source of happiness he’d ever had; or his friends, who’d never backed down from his side, despite the risks they’d faced.

·         The thing about prophecies was that Harry learnt them, as he learnt so many things, at Dumbledore’s knee. Hearing this one made him angry. The only one who could defeat an unspeakable enemy? Already, it implied that he would once more be the victor, the one to survive, the one who lives. What about his children? His wife? His best friends? There were no assurances for them and Harry had no intention of being the survivor this time, not if it meant losing them. The one thing he wanted was to end this war before his children had to be more involved than they already were. And that, to Harry, meant not listening to the prophecy. He already knew they didn’t have to be true – that it was Voldemort who had really marked Harry as his eventual killer. Dumbledore had told him that, and whatever complicated feelings he had about the man, who he at once loved, resented and couldn’t bear to hear criticised, Harry still had more faith in him than just about anyone else. If there needed to be a sacrifice this time, he’d be the one to do it.

·         The only problem was that if other people chose to believe the prophecy – and they did – he and his family would be a target. He knew in a way that it was his own fault. After all, he did defeat Voldemort. But Harry also knew it wasn’t because of any prophecy. As he once put it, he chose to walk into that arena with his head held high and do the job marked for him, by Voldemort, by Dumbledore – but not by fate. To the rest of the world, though, he had proven once before that he was the Chosen One. So the Potter family increased their protections, and went as close into hiding as they could go without actually going into hiding, all the while the spectres of James and Lily I and their fate hanging over him.

·         Meanwhile, considering his determination to not believe this Prophecy, Harry started thinking about what might happen if he did die. It was certainly not his intention to die – he didn’t mean to sacrifice himself simply for the sake of it, but he’d fight and die if necessary, like anyone else. He had to think, then, about how that might mean leaving his children with nothing.

·         Years ago he’d given the Marauder’s Map to Teddy, who he assumed had since passed it down to James, and perhaps Albus and Lily in turn (Harry didn’t need to know about that, it wasn’t supposed to be passed down from parent to child, but from mischief maker to mischief maker - though regardless of that, he knew what it was like to crave a connection to the father you’d never known and it belonged as much to the Lupins as to the Potters. He might not have known much about his father, but he was sure James Potter I would have wanted Teddy Lupin to have that map).

·         Now, however, Harry gave his long-treasured Invisibility Cloak to Lily as a means of protection at Hogwarts from the student Wraiths and also as a tacit sign of his approval of her decision to become an Auror. But truthfully, it was also because of his uncertainty of whether he’d make it out alive this time. Perhaps, if the worst indeed came, it would give her comfort, as having something of his own father always had for him. He also, at this time, looked past his own desire to stay perfect in her eyes and told Lily about his own use of the Unforgivable Curses in his past, knowing that she was in many ways, just like him - and if Lily was going to choose the same path as him, face the same darkness, he wanted to warn her of the dangers of their shared temperament. He had passed on enough pain to Lily already and he did not want her to repeat his mistakes. At Hogwarts, Lily did need the Cloak the most; for James, Albus and Teddy, all adults, he focused on giving them all the time he could, just in case. He wanted them to know there was nothing in the world he loved as much. That it had all been worth it, to get to this part of his life, where he got to have them.

·         That was then. While the fact that he has been brought back from the dead as a living revenant seems to point to the prophecy’s accuracy, the old Harry would have pointed out that knowledge of the prophecy would have encouraged the Knights to bring him back as just that – a self-fulfilling prophecy once more. Now, without his memories, Harry is less inclined to regard the prophecy as false, not when everyone around him seems to credit it but it remains yet another thing Harry struggles to believe about himself. What chance does he have of defeating any enemy? He doesn’t even know who he is. He doesn’t know if he wants to know who he is, if he even wants to be alive. He might be a revenant, but he isn’t a hero. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help. If he knew where to start, he’d try. For all his confusion and grief over the heaven he’s lost, there’s no part of Harry capable of sitting back and doing nothing. But he’s lost. Whoever Harry Potter used to be, he’s no one’s Chosen One anymore.

DEATH

·         The one thing he wanted was to end this war before his children had to be more involved than they already were. But tragically, that hope ended the same night Harry’s life did. October 31 2024. Lestrange, something of a sadist, had chosen the night on purpose and tormented Harry with the fact before he died. Harry gave up any hope of escape, preferring to buy time for his family. (All details are pending plotting with other involved characters!)

·         Ginny took James and Albus to safety, to the Granger-Weasley safehouse, only to return with Ron and Hermione to help Harry. They were too late to find anything more than his body, bereft of his wand, which had been taken by the Wraiths as a trophy.

·         He was buried at Godric’s Hollow, in the graveyard next to his parents’ plot. On their other side is a memorial stone Harry organised himself, honouring Sirius and Regulus Black, neither of whom left a body behind. Harry, alongside Andromeda, also oversaw the burials of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks at Godric’s Hollow.

RESURRECTION

·         Harry Potter had been resting, at peace. He was torn away from that when he woke up in his grave, to be found by the Knights and told who he was. At first he felt nothing so much as confusion. All he could really remember was being safe, comfortable, warm; now it was eyes on him all the time, hushed whispers in his presence, frightened voices and angry discussions in which people threw around blame. Learning of his past made him more unnerved still – it was impossible to think of being this person others described, apparently the perfect hero … though Harry can’t help but see the trail of death that seems to follow this past self of his in all the stories. Touching everyone except him.

·         Being around his old family and friends is, for the most part, uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how to act around any of them, he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be. And they look at him with so much expectation, so much hope. It’s the worst around his children. The way they look at him could break him if he let it. Despite everything he doesn’t remember, Harry hates the feeling that he’s disappointing people. It hurts to let them down, when it seems as if they love him so very much. If only he could remember. But no matter how much he tries, he can’t find what he’s lost – what, he sometimes thinks, might no longer exist as anything other than someone else’s memory.

·         And there are times he doesn’t want to try. Times all he feels is anger, an anger he tries not to show, but it’s there. He doesn’t belong here. He shouldn’t be here. And they brought him back. It was the first thing he had said when he was pulled out of the grave – “I’m not supposed to be here. Who are you? Why did you do this to me?” Since then, it’s never really stopped hurting. It got worse when he learnt about Neville Longbottom – Harry doesn’t remember the man, but knowing he should be alive and Harry should be dead is a lot to bear. From the stories, though, allowing other people to die for him is nothing new. The question is why other people keep going along with it.

·         With the resurrection, Harry has been altered. Some things remain the same – he’s still brave and determined, still resilient and certainly still internalising his own feelings, trying to be strong, because it’s what people seem to expect of him, what they’re looking to him for. And he can’t help but try to be what others need instinctively, though truth be told, he’s no better than he ever was at comforting others, awkward and unpractised at both words and touches of love. The feeling of a wand in his hand is familiar, even if he doesn’t remember old spells, and he seems to have a way of rubbing the scar on his forehead when he’s thinking, or brushing flat the unruly hair on his head, that might well painfully remind his forgotten loved ones of the man they knew. But while he still feels those old instincts deep within, ultimately, he’s more consumed with himself and his own pain. It’s something like being a child again – egocentric and absorbed in his own feelings.

·         His worst flaws, the ones that before his death, Harry had spent years working on and trying to master are instead amplified – his temper, impatience, independent streak, tendency to internalise and his disregard of his own life. For now, he’s cooperating, remaining hidden in the Order safehouse, but he’s never been easy to control, and while others are consumed with trying to figure out what to do about Harry, what’s right - even with the best of intentions, he’s never liked being told what to do or “handled” like a problem. As if he’s incapable. In fact, that tends to make him more defiant, more reckless, and without the bitterly learnt lessons in controlling those urges, Harry is every day more likely to do something he can’t take back.

1. Has your muse ever had to deal with a significant loss? And if so, how did they cope with the grief of that? (Loss does not necessarily have to mean death here.)

2. What do you think it would take for your muse to reach their absolute breaking point?

3. Would your muse ever consider changing their stance about the war or switching sides? If so, what would push them to do so?

4. What was your muse doing when they heard about Harry’s death -- and later Neville’s death and Harry’s resurrection? How did they react to the news? Did they attend either of the funerals or memorials?

5. Which Deathly Hallow would appeal to your muse the most and why?

6. What are your muse’s thoughts on the Dark Arts? Would they ever use such magic themselves for whatever reason, or have they already done so in the past?

7. What memories would your muse be shown if they were in the presence of a Dementor, and what physical reaction would they have?

8. Is your muse capable of casting a corporeal Patronus? And if so, what form does it take and what memories does your muse use to cast it?

9. What would your muse see if they gazed into the Mirror of Erised?

10. What is your muse’s Boggart? Would your muse be able to successfully cast Riddikulus in the presence of one? If so, what would the Boggart turn into?

11. What scents would your muse smell if they took a whiff of Amortentia and why?

12. What is your muse’s wand?

13. What outcome would your character like to see for the war? And what would they like to do once it’s finally over?

14. What does your muse think of resurrection? Have they ever been tempted by it? Would they be willing to do it now, knowing the consequences?

15. What is the worst thing your muse has ever done? What pushed them to do this?

16. Who is the most important person in your muse’s life and why?

17. Who is your muse’s worst enemy and why?

18. What is your muse’s most prized possession and why?

19. Does your muse use social media? And if so, what platforms are they on, and what do they enjoy posting about? Is their account public or private?

20. Are there any public figures or historical figures that your muse looks up to? Why?

21. Does your muse have any vices? And if so, are they open about them, or do they try to keep it hidden?

22. Does your muse have any skeletons in their closets?

23. What are your muse’s guilty pleasures?

24. What are your muse’s bad habits?

25. What is your muse’s biggest regret and why?

26. What would your muse do if they found out they only had one day left to live?

27. Upon dying, would your muse choose to become a ghost, or would they decide to pass on?

28. How does your muse like to dress?

29. If your muse was a muggle, what would your character’s life be like?

30. What would your muse do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? What would be their chances of survival?

31. What would your muse be doing right now if the war had never happened? How would their life be different?

32. Would your muse ever consider making a horcrux? Alternatively, do you think they’d be capable of destroying a horcrux?

33. Would your muse be capable of using any of the Unforgivable Curses? And would they ever do so or have they ever done so in the past?

34. What were your muse’s O.W.L. scores? (Or if they did not attend Hogwarts, what were their test results on an equivalent exam?)

35. What is your muse’s favorite subject, and does this differ from their best subject? Alternatively, what is your muse’s least favorite subject, and does this differ from their worst subject?

36. If your muse was given the choice of what house they would be sorted into, what house would they have chose?

37. Would your muse ever consider running away from everything if given the means and opportunity? Why or why not?

38. If your muse had access to a time turner, what would they do with it?

39. What would your muse change about their lives or themselves if given the opportunity? Why?

40. How do you picture your muse’s relationship with their parents? What is their home life like?

41. Out of the seven deadly sins, which does your muse embody the most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?

42. What are your character’s religious beliefs? Have they ever experienced a loss of faith or a revival in faith? What prompted this?

43. If your character could be any magical creature, what magical creature would they choose?

44. If your character could have any power in the world, what power would they choose?

45. What is your muse’s favorite myth or fairytale?

46. What is your muse’s favorite song?

47. What is your muse’s favorite movie?

48. What is your muse’s favorite tv show?

49. What is your muse’s favorite book?