#restorativetherapy

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“Impose 1 of 4” ‘Blinded By The Light Of The Lord” This look embodies the moment just after I finished my conversion and religious counseling and was convinced the only thing to do was to begin pouring my time and energy into the church. I was told, as a southern baptist, that if I accepted Jesus into my heart he’d wash away and forgive my sin. I was also told that God wouldn’t give me anything I couldn’t handle. Regardless of the fact that I had already done the “prayer for salvation” I believed I must have not done it right. I proceeded to do this multiple times over the next few years as I was convinced I was doing something wrong that prevented God from taking my sin from me. I had done a good job of convincing the conversion therapist that I was sexually on the mend, but little did I know I had brainwashed myself into believing what he and the religious counselor had told me over and over again. This was something wrong with me and the only way to fix it was to turn to God. So I did. Hard. - - Remember: I am here, you are safe with me. Speak up, Speak Out, Listen. - - - - - #restorativetherapy #correctivetherapy #truth #speakyourtruth #cathartic #catharticart #makeup #drag #gay #queer #lgbtq #instaqueer #instagay #mystory #dragqueen #beard #dragqueensofinstagram #inspire #tellyourstory #safespace #listen #speakup #dragmakeup #instadrag #chicago #chicagodrag #beardedqueen #beardedlady #beardeddrag #facade #cross #impose #emotions #makeup #mua #religion https://www.instagram.com/p/Bshjcr_hiZ5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10aezoklqiq7o

Picking back up on this project by rounding out Chapter 2: Impound: TW: Restorative Therapy “Impound 4 of 4” This look embodies the feelings I had once I was cleared and told I didn’t have to attend restorative therapy anymore. I had put in the act of sexual “improvement” so much that I had grown to accept that as my fate. I had been forced to believe I wasn’t making myself active enough in church and the idle time is what was leading me down the wrong path. This is the moment my life shifted into a feeling of being imprisoned into a devout and religious lifestyle. The next chapter “impose” will cover the feelings surrounding my religious involvement and activity but this is the moment I had to (as a minor) accept the fate my mother, pastor, the government, etc had laid out for me. Undetermined amount of time laid ahead as I stepped into this cell, and shell of my life. - - Remember: I am here, you are safe with me. Speak up, Speak Out, Listen. - - - - - #restorativetherapy #correctivetherapy #truth #speakyourtruth #cathartic #catharticart #makeup #drag #gay #queer #lgbtq #instaqueer #instagay #mystory #dragqueen #beard #dragqueensofinstagram #inspire #tellyourstory #safespace #listen #speakup #dragmakeup #instadrag #chicago #chicagodrag #beardedqueen #beardedlady #beardeddrag #facade #imprisoned #impound #emotions #makeup #mua (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsCOnLyhnHG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xwm5p0u4tf6a

TW: Restorative Therapy “Impound 3 of 4” This look embodies the act I learned to put on when attending these therapy sessions both with the therapist and with the pastor. - Each time as the person I thought I was born to be was shattered, I’d have to rebuild myself and pretend like I was improving in the direction they wanted me to. Hence the self-given stitches; however the brighter color denotes the fact that I knew the whole time I was lying to myself and them. - The feelings I had were the feelings I kept having regardless of what sick mind games I was made to be a part of. I knew my “homosexual tendencies” weren’t gonna change overnight but I had to make them believe I was not the same in order to appease the powers that be. - I had to piece together a version of me that eventually led to my own personal hell. This was the beginning of the facade. - Please know who you are is the only version of you you should ever have to portray. Remember: I am here, you are safe with me. Speak up, Speak Out, Listen. - - - - - #restorativetherapy #correctivetherapy #truth #speakyourtruth #cathartic #catharticart #makeup #drag #gay #queer #lgbtq #instaqueer #instagay #mystory #dragqueen #beard #dragqueensofinstagram #inspire #tellyourstory #safespace #listen #speakup #dragmakeup #instadrag #chicago #chicagodrag #beardedqueen #beardedlady #beardeddrag #facade (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmxc7rVAw-T/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=rcc3ys1cq26j