#resigned

Jensen groaned as he exited the lot building, heading for his trailer to change out of his clothes for the day. Between working on set as Dean Winchester, he conducted interviews with anyone and everyone: print, network, internet - it didn’t matter. Anyone who wanted his story got it. 

He discussed the protests and the human rights violations that had occurred there and elsewhere. He talked about his Omega, Y/N, and what happened to her within the walls of the Omega Rehabilitation Center. Rehabilitation was a joke. They practically reprogrammed her into nothing more than her basic Omega.

Unfortunately for Jensen, her basic Omega brought forth his primal Alpha. Y/N was so broken when he brought her home that he had to resort to his Alpha and basic commands to get her to do anything. She wouldn’t eat or sleep or move unless he told her to do so, and it broke his heart and grated his nerves with every occurrence.

Jensen had taken to acting during the day on set and acting as Alpha at home. There was never a moment he could just be. He blamed it all on the Omega Enforcement, but as his Alpha side became more prominent, he often had misdirected outbursts.

Jensen’s Alpha had taken presence so significantly that he growled on set during a scene where Sam put his hand reassuringly on Dean’s shoulder. He snapped at his friend, teeth bared and a deep growl in his throat. Jared jumped in surprise, attempting to soothe him as he usually would if Jensen was moody or their Alphas were nearing rut and they got snippy. But when Jensen faced him directly and furthered the threatening stance, Jared knew he would have to deal with the Alpha, not his friend and coworker. 

He responded by standing tall, squaring his shoulders, and lightly snarling as he leaned in with a low growled warning meant just for Jensen’s ears, “ I am pack Alpha, do not challenge me.”

Jared hated that he had to pull rank, to use that trust in such a way, but Jensen was getting out of control. Once his words settled and Jensen backed down, he escorted the older Alpha off set and to his trailer, and Jensen vented about everything he’d been enduring. After chastising him, both for not keeping him in the loop and for making him pull rank like that, Jared promised to help Y/N and him through it.

“Hey, man,” Jared perked up from where he’d been waiting for Jensen to finish, making the older man groan again and rub his hands down his face to try and wipe away the exhaustion. “Carl called, he’s sending over a list of the upcoming court dates.”

Since his incident on set, Jared had been with Jensen every step of the day. The younger man insisted that he and Y/N stay with him and Gen after they came home from work one day, and Jensen simply snapped at Y/N with ‘Come, Omega’, too tired for anything more. Jared was intensely displeased with Jensen’s demeanor and insisted they stay with them, worried that he’d lose them both to their baser selves.

Y/N had to stay with Gen during the day anyway. Jensen had learned the hard way that he couldn’t leave Y/N alone. Without anyone to tell her what she was supposed to and allowed to do, she remained standing where he’d left her that morning. Gen had offered to watch over Y/N during the day. She had volunteered in her youth at clinics and shelters for abandoned Omegas and was familiar with how to handle situations, although it had been a while.

Jensen needed all the help he could get and was grateful to Jared and Gen, even if it hurt his pride and ego to need their assistance. But Jared had become just as involved as he, helping Jensen file lawsuits against the U.S. Government, the State of Texas, the behavioral center, and the individual OE suits and officers involved in her treatments and punishment. He’d have to review the notes his lawyer sent over and add the upcoming court dates to his increasingly crowded calendar.

After changing from their work clothes, Jared and Jensen shared an SUV ride back in silence to Jared’s house. Jensen needed the time to switch his brain from Jensen to Alpha, because their instincts were all that was left, and their relationship had changed in the wake of Y/N’s so-called ‘treatment’. He desperately missed the woman he loved, but was grateful he had some part of her left to cherish.

Jared stopped Jensen on the front porch with a hand on his shoulder, drawing the older man’s attention. “Maybe try easing up on the Alpha?” he suggested kindly. “Just be Jensen, and let Y/N come around.”

Jensen nodded, tired of switching from one mode to the other. Every night, he sat with Y/N, held her in his arms, talked with her, and tried to bring her back to herself. It was working little by little, he felt. But maybe Jared was right. It may have been time for Jensen to return to normal, and Y/N would be reminded of them and herself, and heal, too.

-

Y/N tried her hardest to be a good Omega, as she was taught in rehabilitation. She had understood that her past actions and who she was made her bad. And an Omega was valued and cherished only if they were good. But her Alpha and pack were bothered by everything she said or did, or didn’t say or do. She felt adrift and wondered if she was just rotten, a bad apple that could never be made good no matter how hard she tried.

When Jensen first brought her home from the facility, he had to return to work, kissing her goodbye as she stood in the middle of the living room. Omegas were supposed to clean, cook, and take care of the children. But there were no children, and the house was spotless, so she didn’t know what to do.

She thought back on what she had done before and considered removing her collar, since she was home. But just the thought made her flinch as her mind recalled the video voice explaining collar laws and why they were necessary. The collar remained around her neck, untouched. 

She thought over everything she could do - organize belongings, plan for meals and shopping, fluff the pillows - but each thought delivered a psychological shock that kept her frozen to the spot. She hadn’t realized she didn’t move an inch until Jensen came home and snapped her out of her thoughts.

He was unhappy, panicked as he took off her collar and sat her at the kitchen counter to feed her. She tried to jump in and make food, something Omegas were supposed to do, but in his frustration, he snapped, and she fell silent, bowing her head. 

Her Alpha was angry and displeased with her actions, and she blamed herself for them. She quietly asked, with her head bowed, how he would like her to present herself for her punishment. That sent Jensen into a tirade, yelling about what they had done to her and how she was acting. 

But her Omega interpreted that as directed at her. She tried to fight back her tears unsuccessfully and Jensen had to spend an hour soothing her, calming her down, and trying to tame his anger, though he was pissed at himself for not being more in tune to her mood and needs.

It was a challenge for both of them, as Jensen’s commands often contradicted what she’d been taught and the laws of Omega ownership; she would freeze and flinch, trying to stop the conflict within her mind. Jensen watched helplessly as she openly fought her internal struggles. His unhappiness was just further proof to her of how terrible a mate she was.

Which is why she was grateful, rather than embarrassed, when Jensen told her she’d be staying with Gen when he was away. Gen, to her, was a good Omega. She never got in trouble, other than the protests, which wasn’t her fault, and her Alpha was always happy and satisfied. Plus, she had come to feel comfortable in the small woman’s presence as she emitted an aura of family, motherhood, and safety.

Gen instructed Y/N to follow her around the house as she attended to the kids and did other tasks. She assigned tasks and provided choices about what to do, much like a parent would with a child. She also tried to lead by example, wearing her collar every day and removing it to show Y/N it was allowed. Gen devoted much effort and time to help Y/N, her sister by pack, in any way she could.

“Hey, Ladies, we’re home!” Jared announced as he entered the house, and Jensen followed closely behind. The woman came into the foyer to greet their Alphas. “There you are. How was your day?” Jared asked his wife as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pecked her lips. 

“Good day,” she grinned as the two moved to sit on the couch in the living room.

Y/N and Jensen watched the mated pair for a moment, almost as an example, before turning to each other. Jensen wrapped his arms around Y/N and buried his nose in her neck, kissing and scenting her mark. Silence and comfort in each other's arms seemed to be the only time everything felt regular and proper, untainted by their trauma.

“How was your day, Al-” Y/N paused, swallowing down her words and flashing an eye to Gen, who had talked with her about trying to connect with Jensen, not just the Alpha. “Uh, I mean, Jay. How was your day?”

She kicked herself for how awkward she was, stumbling over what to call her husband and mate. She began to feel the tickling of psychological reprimand, but it swept away under Jensen’s broad grin. He liked hearing his name from her again. She’d only addressed him as Alpha since she’d been home.

“Busy,” he responded, resting his forehead against hers as he removed her collar, tucked her hair behind her ears, and cupped her cheek to draw her into a tender kiss. “Better now. How was your day?”

Y/N swooned and flourished under Jensen’s attentions, drowning in the happy scent he emitted. It'd been a while since she’d smelled the sweetness of it; his scent nowadays was always tinged with bitterness and anger. 

“Gen taught me how to make a pie,” she proudly declared, wincing only slightly at the perceived wrongness of being proud of herself. “Would you like some?”

“Damn, you made pie?” Jensen’s tired eyes lit up, and he smirked. 

“Yeah, sit down. I’ll bring some for everyone.”

Jensen sat on the loveseat perpendicular to the couch, where Jared and Gen sat, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s retreating form until she disappeared around the corner out of sight.

“She’s doing better,” Jensen stated, smiling gratefully at Gen. “Thank you. Whatever you’re doing, it’s helping.”

“She’s still fighting the flinches, the feel of some punishment, and she needs a minute to fight it and make decisions. But she’s trying. She had a good day today.”

Y/N was happy, a bounce in her step as she worked to slice up the pie, plating the slices and gathering utensils and bottled beers, which she knew the guys enjoyed after a long day. Placing everything on a tray, she looked it over before deciding whipped cream would be good. She added that to the tray, then paused as an idea occurred to her. She shook the can of cream, ready to enact her plan of drawing a heart on top of Jensen’s slice. 

It’ll be cute, she thought, before pausing with the can above the pie, fighting off what felt like a tug on her neck and a whisper of a lash against her back. He didn’t ask for it. But it’s sweet and shows that I love him. He didn’t ask for it, he’ll be mad if you decide for him. It’s just whipped cream! Your Alpha decides, not you.

She dropped the can, and it rolled on the countertop as she gripped the edges of the counter, keeping herself from crying out at what felt like a more brutal lash against her spine. She hated this! Every decision, every action was a chore, and trying to do anything of her own volition was always accompanied by the phantom voice of the videos, the officers, or the remembrance of her punishments. 

Gen had encouraged her to fight it, to brace herself against the perceived attacks and push forward anyway. It was what Jensen had wanted, she’d said, convincing Y/N to try. Above all else, her Alpha’s happiness and well-being were of the utmost importance, and that was true before her trauma and still.

Biting back her tears, she forced herself to move through the pain, gripping the can and shaking it vigorously, before drawing a shaky heart on the crust of the pie. She set the can down and sighed, staring at her work as the pain and panic slowly ebbed from her body. Despite how trivial the action was, it felt like an act of raging defiance.

When she served everyone, her nerves were on edge. Jensen lit up at the heart on the pie, pecking her lips and thanking her before digging in. He moaned around a mouthful, and she was vaguely aware of the others enjoying and complimenting her as well, but her attention was entirely on her Alpha. His smile, satisfied moan, and elated scent, which she breathed in deep lungfuls to calm herself, made it all worthwhile.

-

Jensen drove through Austin, his hand on Y/N’s thigh as she sat quietly in the passenger seat. Things had gradually improved in their lives, but there was still much work to be done. Jared and Jensen had settled their lawsuits before they had to go to court, as the various entities wanted to keep a lower profile in the wake of global change. 

Several countries, including Canada, had passed Omega Rights and Equality laws, ending the barbaric practices of subjugation. Some U.S. states had also passed laws and were quickly growing with citizens who sought freedom from persecution. Despite all of that, Y/N was still traumatized, still buried beneath her Omega, still struggling to find her way.

“Would you like to know where we’re going?” He gently asked Y/N as he turned down another street. She still wasn’t good at vocalizing her thoughts or asking things, so he tried to ask her, giving her room to voice her thoughts.

“Yes,” she nodded.

He parked the vehicle along the curb in front of a nondescript office building bustling with activity in the middle of the weekday. Turning off the engine, he turned to her with a smile.

“Someone recommended a therapist to me,” he began to explain. “I’ve talked to her a few times. She works with couples and specializes in trauma,” he added. “I made an appointment for us.” He gave her a moment to process his words, waiting for her to work through whatever was in her mind and decide how to respond. 

Y/N hadn’t expected a therapist, and her mind immediately launched into a tirade against her: Bad Omega. He’s upset with you. Couples counseling. He wants to replace you with a better Omega. He’s going to therapy because of you. Broken. Bad Omega.

Jensen’s eyes widened as she began to cry, sobbing into her hands, the sight and sound wrenching his heart. He knew her mind was cruel to her, but he didn’t expect this. Luckily, she had shared her thoughts with him, which often revealed what was happening in her internal battles. 

“Y/N, Omega, Baby, look at me,” Jensen pleaded, cupping her face and wiping her tears. “You did nothing wrong, okay. You’re not a bad Omega. I’m not leaving you. This is just help, like how Jared and Gen helped us, okay?”

He placed gentle, barely-there kisses all over her face, wiping at her tears and letting her scent him until she calmed. She flinched and shook her head, and he knew she was still fighting those internal demons.

“It’s just like if you break a leg,” he tried to explain, rubbing her back and holding her close, her face buried in his neck, right at his mark. “You set it and cast it, and then it heals. That’s what we’re doing, Baby.” He pulled back, cupping her face again and meeting her eyes with an earnest gaze. “We’re healing wounds, okay?

She nodded, not trusting her voice. Her tears stopped, and she caught her breath and cleaned her face before letting Jensen lead her from the car by the hand. Her heart still raced with trepidation, and the intrusive thoughts never ceased their torment, but she trusted her Alpha and would do whatever he asked of her.

PART 18

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