#resentfulness

It has been a few years since I last covered this form of self-care, and I decided it was time for a reminder.The last post was geared toward fending off the panic of the early pandemic days, anyway. Thankfulness isn’t just a defense against catastrophic, global events though. Being thankful can actually increase serotonin and dopamine in our systems. Proven fact, it lets you have the happy…

My apologies for anyone who reads my blogs. I’ve been at my new job for the last month and a half now. It’s going well so far. A lot busier than my previous job. My boss at the old place closed the shop and we were both hired by one of our vendors. I’ve been putting a lot of overtime in. As much as  I can since I have a wedding to pay for.

I’ve been so exhausted from the overtime. I’m not complaining about the money. I definitely need it and don’t mind working long hours. I have kind of fallen into an anti-social hole though. I just haven’t been up for hanging out with a lot of people. Certain people really, but any time I make plans, I end up trying to back out of them because I just want to stay home, sit on my couch and watch Hocus Pocus.

Anyway, I’ve also been avoiding specific friends because all they want to talk about is my wedding. I don’t mind talking about it with certain people. My family, fiance’s family, wedding party...people like that. However, a handful of people are really fucking annoying to talk to about it. I just can’t stand the unsolicited advice. I’ve really become resentful towards certain people because of it. I hate it so much and I feel bad, but I can’t help it. It really takes the joy out of planning my wedding. If someone brings it up that I don’t want to talk to, I will just say that I don’t want to talk about it because I’m tired of people meddling. I’m hoping they’ll get the hint but then there’s also the risk of it backfiring and they say “I’m just trying to help.” The only way they can help me is to stay the fuck out of my business.

My fiance’s sister stopped by tonight for a bit. She shared some family gossip with us. It kind of made me feel a little better about myself because it means NO ONE is fucking perfect. No matter how much you look down on someone, no matter how much you judge people...NO ONE is perfect. Everyone has their issues. Just remember...if you want to judge me...you can never make another mistake again. You must be perfect for the rest of your life. Not possible, you say? Then don’t fucking judge me.

“Forgiving someone is making the decision to choose mercy and grace over bitterness and resentment. Since we’re so very aware of our own desperate need for grace, and because our God is a grace-filled, mercy-giving God, we must be willing to freely give it away, too. But choosing to forgive can be so very hard, especially when it feels like you or someone you love has been treated unfairly…” – By…