#reptilessss

Hi, anon! I’m alright. I’m sorry for the novel I wrote in response to your question, but I just kept going. ;;;

My experience definitely doesn’t speak for everyone, but here’s what I did:

Originally, I was still in university. I went to the medical center three times in quick succession because I thought my asthma was acting up; I was gasping for every breath and my chest hurt all the time because of it. They found nothing physically wrong, gave me some Hydroxyzine Pamoate samples and slipped me a card for the next building over… My school had a counseling center, where after making an appointment, they’d initially give you to a graduate student who would do a few intake appointments with you. Eventually you’d be handed off to an actual counselor (I did not make it that far in their program because I was graduating soon and they weren’t that great.)

In my state, each individual county is required to have a Community Guidance Center. Of course, I didn’t know about this until I was almost done with my degree, so I wish this was more common knowledge.

Anyway, the Guidance Center was a cool place. They had therapists, counselors, prescribing doctors, and an in-house pharmacy. I had an intake appointment with a woman who asked me more about myself than what was on my paperwork, and then she placed me with my therapist accordingly- I was placed with the woman I saw because she was the only person in the building who had any LGBTQ+ training. By which I mean she attended a sensitivity class three years before I met her. She did her best, though. And considering this was rural Pennsylvania, I wasn’t shocked about the lack of training.

So, my therapist met with me usually about once a month, because I’m still on my dad’s insurance, but I couldn’t afford to pay my copay more often than that. They also gave me to a prescribing doctor, who gave me my first real prescription: 50mg of Sertraline, which is Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI). Basically, it’s generic Zoloft. But SSRI change your brain chemistry. They’re not an as-needed medication. They’re an every day medication. My visualization was always like… picture a dried out plant, all shriveled and dead looking. SSRI comes in and waters it every day to keep it from being so dead.

Now, at the same time, my therapist diagnosed me with Chronic PTSD, Depression, Anxiety… different flavors of each, you can basically mix it together for AvPD, Avoident Personality Disorder. Going back to the earlier breathing problem, I didn’t believe at first that anyone could be THAT low-key anxious ALL THE TIME. Apparently I was. Even when I was enjoying myself! Still astounds me.

I went to the Community Guidance Center for a year and a half, and over that time they increased my SSRI dose, and also prescribed Trazodone to me as a sleep aid.

Now, I’m currently seeing a private practice therapist. Which, while I did like my old therapist as a person, private practice is honestly SOOOOOO much better. Less paperwork, less hoop jumping, and he has a couch in his office. Not like a freudian couch or anything, just a regular couch, but it’s nice. I also found (through him) a new prescribing doctor. They actually capped out my SSRI dose, because I’ve still got a lot of work climbing out of this pit.

My new therapist, besides being a wizard imo, was surprisingly easy to find. I had moved, so finding someone seemed daunting. In the end, I phoned my insurance, and they sent me a .PDF of every therapist within 40 miles who accepted my coverage. From there, I narrowed it down to a particular town that’s nearby, then I did a google search on each name. Pushed aside the ones working with religious institutions (I’m sure they’re fine, just not my cup of tea,) and I also overlooked ones with bad online reviews or not a single internet footprint.

I found my guy because he has his own website, and is very transparent. I sent him an email, asking point blank if he had any training regarding LGBTQ+ and he was honest: nothing official, but he’d worked with them in the past and knew he had a lot to learn. It was extremely important to me that I vet my therapist to make sure I found someone I could really trust. A little paranoid, sure, but he actually agreed with me when we met.

SOOOO that was longer than intended and turned into story time. Please feel free to message or even email me if you have anymore questions!

@isaidsothatswhy thank you!!!!