#renner reply

I did see (and rebloged with my thoughts) your post calling yourself a 'disaster'. I must protest! Your heart is evident in everything you create, and that's the farthest thing from disaster. Trust your instincts and the family you have gathered to yourself; think of us as the cream of the crop that will always have eyes and hearts to appreciate your works.

That's all for now, I suppose. Sending all my love, as ever!

V 🥰💖💜💙🤗

Thank you so much, sweet flower 💮

Admitted, it is very hard for me to own up to the fact that I am hard on myself and that I need to curb my thoughts when it comes to my self-deprecation. Of course, you and my darling fledglings have all become so important to me when it comes to my writings and my art. There are just days where it is harder for me to remind myself of this than others. When I see works like yours and Baker's, I remember that I'm writing for a completely different crowd and it's hard to not be able to give your side of the fandom what you need to. I suppose this is one of the days when I feel like I'm letting people down, even though I know I'm not. The feedback issue has always been my handicap and even now I am truly still trying to fight it if I can. There are days when I am able to lasso the demon and put it back in the basement, but today it has been a real struggle that I'm not completely proud to admit to. I wonder sometimes if I overthink even my thinking process.

But regardless, I know that it is a part of myself. And even when I am at my lowest, the ones who truly care about me will be there to extend their hand and help me back up. I have found you, Harle, Icy, Fanartka, Sinister and so many other amazing people that have built me back up from the broken human being I was. You reunited me with Tony in my dreamscape by reminding me that it's okay to be in love with him and given me your endless support - for which I am eternally grateful and cannot put into words. I am trying to better myself a little more every day by remembering that all of you are here waiting for me to come back or post anything, (I find myself a bit humbled and embarrassed that you visit my page every day, but I admittedly do the same to yours, so I guess we're even, heh) and it truly does help. The real life struggles I have faced these last few weeks nearly did me in and I promise you, I will get better. I may try to post a GNReader and Stephen fic tomorrow if I can get all of the thoughts in my head down accordingly. I do hope you won't miss it, my dear. Be safe, also, while you are at Barnes and Noble, look for a book called "Storm Front" by Jim Butcher. If you don't know it already, I promise, you won't be disappointed. All my love,

I saw your post about not being sure if I got your Asks, my dear flower. I am sad to say that if you sent me more than one, I never received them.

I have been sleeping for most of yesterday and today (aside from the very brief time that I was on to make a few posts) due to my leg pain and exhaustion. But I noticed that I had a notification in my inbox that wasn't there before, so I got on my laptop and checked it. Thank you for the other pictures of Ben/Stephen to help with Eldritch's banner! Unfortunately, I feel like my posts don't seem to be reaching a lot of my followers too, because every time I ask for help, they either don't reply or ask me about it DAYS later.

I haven't done a damn thing except sleep but I will be getting back to regular stuff tomorrow because I'm feeling much better than I was. However, I am very sad you didn't say anything about the post I made of 18133 Strange :( It's one of the reason I feel like I'm not reaching certain people.

I hope you're well my dear, and I will be showing the sketch progress for his banner Saturday, thanks to you. This is why I wanted you to text me, because I miss talking to you and I can't stand not getting your messages unless I'm on the computer...

All my love, V.

— S

I had a feeling it may be. Sorry to call you out like that my sweet flower 😂

I love your suggestions, as I am always interested in seeing people's favorite pictures of Ben in any of his roles! I am not having that great of a night, so to see that you messaged me about this made me very happy.

I hope you are well, my dear Beauty, and you have a wonderful week. All my love to you! xx

I wish things had been better for us, my dear, but I do love you so very much.

I am so, so glad you took this very positive, very much needed step!

You have followed your heart and quit more than a job; you have quit a pattern that was unhealthy and prohibitive of the healing that you seek and deserve. As I believe in miracles (they keep happening for me, or for my eyes to witness, since the day I lost my lifelong home) I am fully confident that among the miracles you will find is that you will be able to survive financially without that job (which was an incredibly unfair monopolization of your work ethic and loyalty). I love that you have the confidence (rightfully so) to turn to your talent and vision, your skill and Artist's heart, to enable your freedom from the physical cage of your job. As you have freed yourself to continue your journey of healing, you will also give yourself the joy and regeneration that comes from engaging with and nurturing your creativity. I look forward to watching your healing unfold, and the beautiful results that will come from your passion.

Bravo, dearheart.💙💜💙BRAVO!!!

💜💙 Oh, my sweet flower, thank you so much.💙💜

I admit that I have been riddled with anxiety and guilt for the last few hours, but I'm slowly starting to come to the realization that yes, this is exactly what I wanted and needed. I suppose there will always be some part of me that thinks "you're running away from the responsibilities", but I know I'll have to silence that voice because this is the right course of action and I have to trust my instincts. They've never steered me wrong before. All of the love and support that I get from all of you here helps so, so much and I will continue to be here to document my recovery because I know you genuinely care. I mean who doesn't love drama? Haha, I'm kidding. I know that you're all truly a part of my life now, but I have to make the joke to make myself keep from crying. Although I may have already done that as soon as I saw your message in my inbox. Not sorry.

Thank you so much, V. I hope that one day, we can speak to each other outside of this platform that has done you such injustice. I would love to sit and have tea, to talk about your stories as well as the plans I have for next year when it comes to my writing and arts. There are things that I wish I could ask your opinion on, but I don't want to flood your inbox and I'm still not convinced my Asks always go through when I send them. Perhaps one day.