Regulus woke in James’s bed. He didn’t remember going to bed. The last thing he knew he’d been doing was poring over books in the Potters’ library.
He got up and went to find James. His stint in the library had revealed nothing anyway. It didn’t matter how powerful or how advanced the tracking spells he used; his family remained hidden. The Black family properties had centuries of protection charms and blood magic on them. Not even a mouse could find its way into one of those houses.
Effie and Monty were dozing on the sofa in the living room. They must have been out all night looking for Remus. Regulus felt guilty; he should have gone with them. He left the room quietly, not wanting to disturb them.
James was nursing a cup of tea in the kitchen. He jumped when Regulus poked him in the arm.
“Oh, love, you’re awake!” James beamed at him. “Are you hungry?”
“I can do it,” Regulus protested when James got up and started making him toast.
They’d just sat down at the table with fresh cups of tea and a mountain of toast when the back door opened and Remus, looking worse for wear, walked in.
“Remus!” They both exclaimed in unison. James hurried to Remus’s side and helped him into a seat, pressing his cup of tea into Remus’s hands and summoning another plate so he could pile toast onto it.
“What happened?” James asked him once he’d devoured a slice of toast.
“I don’t know,” Remus admitted quietly. “Moony took over, and I let him. We ran for miles until I managed to turn us back towards yours. I’ve only just been able to transform back.”
“Oh! Remus, darling!” Effie ran across the kitchen and nearly knocked Remus off his chair with the force of her embrace. “Don’t you ever do that to us again. We were so worried,” she chastised him while smothering him with her hug.
“We told her everything,” James warned. Remus’s eyes widened, but he relaxed into Effie’s hug.
“Eat up and then off to bed with you. You must be exhausted," Effie ordered.
“I’ll come up with you,” Regulus offered.
“Thanks,” Remus’s eyes were filled with sadness, but his gratefulness shone through.
They both finished their plates of toast and headed upstairs. He didn’t bother turning into Midnight. He wanted to talk to Remus, and as Remus didn’t speak cat, his human mouth would have to do the talking.
“As soon as he’s on the Hogwarts Express, we’ll pin him down if we have to and get the antidote down his throat. Sirius is not lost to us. We’re going to get him back,” He’d promised Remus so many times now that they’d get Sirius back, but he meant it every time.
“I know, Reggie,” Remus hummed, pulling him against him as he fell asleep. Regulus thought that Remus’s casual use of his brother's nickname for him would annoy him, but it just made him feel Sirius’s love.
“Night, Moony,” he whispered as Remus’s soft snores filled the room.
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You: Remus shivered, pulling his cloak closer around him against the rain. It didn’t help much; he was already soaked through. That didn’t matter though, not right now.
He glanced up realizing he had almost passed the place he was looking for.
Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Guilt filled him and for a moment he hesitated.
He could name exactly how long it had been since he had left without a word. Three years, seven months, and twenty-two days. It hadn’t really been a choice, not really. The full moons were getting progressively worse. He couldn’t stay… Couldn’t keep putting the people he cared for in danger. Now though… Now he had control. They had discovered the Wolfsbane potion and while expensive to make, it was effective.
Could he really go back to the way it was after everything he had done? Could he face Sirius?
He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. If he allowed himself to dwell on these things he’d never leave the sidewalk.
With a sigh and a shake of his wet hair he strode up the steps and knocked.
Stranger: Sirius was doing somewhat okay, all things considered. But since Remus left, he had not really been genuinely happy. He missed his friend like crazy and even though he knew that the other had left because the moons were getting worse, he'd not agreed to the decision. Sirius had been willing to do anything he could to make Remus stay. However, in the end it hadn't been his choice. In the beginning he'd been mad, but that had ebbed out gradually and just left him with a huge sorrow, because he missed him. The house felt too creepy without Remus around, but he still stayed. Sirius was sitting in the living room, when there was a knock on the door. With a sigh, he stood up and walked out to see who it was. He wasn't expecting guests. When he opened the door, he was stunned speechless for a second, before he croaked "Remus?" It was unbelievable. After another moment, during which his brain tried to process this, he flung himself towards his friend and wrapped his arms around him.
You: The moment the door was pulled open, Remus' gaze locked on to the man as if magnetic. He took in every inch of the face he hadn't seen in three years, every new line, every grey hair.
"Hello, Sirius," he greeted in a soft sad whisper, his stomach doing flips. Anxiety mixed with elation, fear, and hope. It was an almost sickening feeling. And before he could say more Sirius was wrapping him in a desperate hug.
Remus didn't hesitate, his own arms curling around his friend's slighter form, squeezing him tight against his chest as the rain continued to pour, dampening the dark black curls Remus now buried his face in as he tried to breath in Sirius' very existence.
How long had it been since he had actually embraced anyone? How long had he been this close to someone? And for that someone to be Sirius... It felt like his skin was being burned at every point of contact.
Stranger: The sadness in Remus' voice was evident and Sirius realized in that moment that his friend had found this just as heartbreaking and challenging as he had himself. A lot of the emotions that he'd been trying to lock away and forget about during the past three years suddenly came rushing over him like a tidal wave. Remus had always been special to him, Sirius had known for many years that he loved the man, but he'd wanted to forget that when he left. Now though as he was finally hugging him again, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck, he couldn't push them away anymore. He was quickly getting soaked from the downpour, but he honestly didn't care about that. Eventually, he had to pull away slightly, though his hand moved down to find Remus'. "Come on, you're gonna get sick if you don't get changed." He said and pulled him inside, locking the door behind them.
You: "Me?" Remus chuckled, a smile splitting his features for the first time since he could remember. "You're the one that decided to jump out into the rain in you pajamas," he accused, practically beaming as he allowed himself to be dragged inside.
The loss of warmth as Sirius had pulled away almost shattered him all over again, but he didn't pull him back. After everything... He didn't want to make things worse. He still had to apologize, still had to make things right somehow.
Remus paid no mind to the fact that he was dripping on the entry rug, locks still plastered on his forehead, muddy prints marring the floor as he peered about.
"How are you? How is Harry? Is he alright? Is he here with you? Can I see him? Hows his grades? What about-" the words were still ridden with sorrow and remorse, spoken softly as he rushed on before he paused to shake his head, "I've got so many questions."
Stranger: "It was worth it. I'll change too, don't worry." Sirius waved him off, he didn't care that he was also soaked and that the wet pajamas was clinging to his skin and rapidly making him feel chilled to the bone. Though, hopefully Remus wouldn't mind curling up with him in front of the fireplace after they'd both changed into dry clothes. "I'm... Okay. All things considered. I'm not great, but I will be." Sirius said, because he really hadn't been great without Remus. "Harry is okay. He has missed you a lot. Asked about you and stuff. You can see him, he's sleeping though, so we have to be quiet." Sirius told him. "His grades are okay, but I am not the best at helping with homework." He replied and stopped to look at Remus for a moment. "I know. You can ask them all. Dry clothes first though." He decided and led the way upstairs to his room. He found two sets of pajamas and fluffy socks for both of them, handing one set to Remus. "It might be too short on you, but it'll have to do for now." He hummed, finding a towel too, which he handed over, so Remus could dry his hair.
You: Nodded at the new information. He hoped Harry hadn't taken it too hard when he had left, hoped he had understood but knew it couldn't have been easy.
He climbed the stairs, unwilling to let Sirius out of his sight for an instant now that he was in them. The few minor changes in his appearance over the years were subtle but noticeable, though as Remus gave a small sniff against the cold, he breathed in the smell that was so uniquely him it almost made him stagger. He had dreamt about that scent, it haunted him to his very core. Standing in his room as they were now only made it worse, made him want to wrap him up in another hug and hide him away from the word, keep him all to his self.
"Thanks, Pads," he mumbled accepting the clothes. Without so much as an ounce of hesitation he started shedding his coat, followed by his shoes and his shirt. Three years alone, hiding away, living in abandoned homes, under trees and the likes seemed to have caused him to forget about his usual bashfulness.
Of course, that hadn't been the only thing that had changed over the long span of time. Remus' shoulders had broadened a bit, his small amount of 'baby fat' disappearing into muscles that were now covered in more scars than ever. He was far too thin around the waist though, making it apparent that he hadn't really been feeding himself enough. He didn't seem to pay any attention to it though as he tugged on the shirt Sirius had offered, the fabric a bit tight around the chest.
You: *He nodded
Stranger: "Of course, Moons." Sirius smiled as he began to strip out of his own pajamas to change into the dry one. He'd never been bashful, never felt like he had anything to hide when it came to his body. He was still petite and slender, but the bit of muscle he had before wasn't quite so defined and noticeable, since he wasn't spending as much time playing Quidditch as he had when he was younger. Now, most of his time went with taking care of Harry. Honestly, if it hadn't been for that kid, he didn't know how he would have survived when Remus had left. Needing to take care of Harry had really been a lifesaver. When Remus changed, he couldn't help but glance, a little surprised that the other wasn't shy when it came to changing around him, like he used to be. Of course the changes didn't go unnoticed, his broadened shoulders, the muscles and of course the scars. None of that made him any less attractive, though Sirius was worried about how thin he was. They would sort that out. Sirius walked over and took Remus' hand again. "Come on, we can peek inside Harry's room, before going downstairs." He said and led the way into the adjacent room, where Harry was sleeping soundly in his bed.
You: "Are you sure?" Remus whispered, dropping his voice lower as if the boy in question could hear him through the walls. "I don't want to risk waking him, I mean... If he's sleep-" He had allowed Sirius to pull him along because in truth he wanted nothing more than to see him, despite his fear of doing so. The words were only cut short as Sirius pulled open the door just enough for them to peer through; Remus' heart skipping a beat at the sight of the pale face just visible under the pile of blankets, in the overly messy room.
It was a sudden and stark reminder of the fact that leaving Sirius was one of the most painful things Remus had ever had to endure, and the close second was leaving Harry who had obviously shot up in the few years he had been gone.
"Blimey, Sirius... Is that really him?" he breathed in disbelief, though there was no real doubt about it.
Stranger: "Of course I am sure." Sirius nodded. Remus had been acting as his parental figure before he left, he could definitely understand, why the other wanted to see him. "He's a heavy sleeper, so don't worry about it." He'd assured him, before he'd opened the door into the room. Harry really had grown a lot in the time Remus had been gone. Just after he'd left, he'd been so upset and Sirius had done his best to comfort him, while simultaneously trying to get over his own sorrow of losing the best person in his life. "Yeah, it is really him. Wait until you see him with his glasses on, he looks so much like James." Sirius whispered and squeezed Remus' hand, before closing the door to let Harry sleep. "He'll be so excited to see you tomorrow." He smiled and began walking towards the kitchen to get some food for Remus.
You: Remus' own smile, that had been plastered onto his lips the moment his gaze landed on the boy, faded at the words. Sirius seemed so sure Harry would be happy to see him... but would he? Remus had just left with barely a word to the boy. He thought it better for him, thought it would make things easier. Harry no doubt felt abandoned. Remus would have if he were him.
And what about Sirius? He was taking everything so well. Surely the elation would ebb away and then what? Would he hate Remus too? More so than Remus already hated himself?
He followed after the man silently, hovering in the doorway of the Kitchen so that he could still keep Sirius in view even as he stared up the stairs towards Harry's room, lost in his own worry.
Stranger: When they reached the kitchen, Sirius bustled about, making a plate for Remus with some bread and fruit, because it was quick and easy and he didn't feel like spending too much time cooking right now. He'd much rather curl up against Remus by the fireplace. When he turned around, he recognized the look of worry on Remus' face, so he walked over and playfully ruffled his hair. "Cheer up, Moons. It's gonna be okay." He said, right now he was just happy to see him and while he hadn't agreed to him leaving, he understood why he did it. The anger was long gone. "Come on, come here." He said and carried the plate into the living room, placing it on the table next to the couch in front of the fireplace. Then he sat down and patted the spot next to him.Stranger: [Haha, fair enough!]You: Remus flinched at the sudden movement of Sirius ruffling his hair before he could help it. He played it off as best he could, giving a mischievous smile. He didn't believe a word Sirius said, but he could tell that Sirius did and that was all that mattered at the moment.
Once again he was being pulled into another room, hovering a bit awkwardly as Sirius moved about before his gaze finally landed on the spot next to him. Remus moved to sit without a second thought, sinking down cross legged on the rug beside him.
He hadn't really considered this far into returned to Grimmauld place, but it definitely was different than he would have guessed. Sirius was just so... so accepting. He didn't yell or cry or make snide comments. It was as if he had expected Remus all along and this was just another week night, the initial hug being the only thing out of the ordinary. Remus wasn't quite sure how he felt about any of it.Stranger: Sirius noticed the slight flinch and even though Remus played it off, he could tell that he'd been a little too sudden or something. He wondered what had happened in the three years that Remus had been gone, where he had been sleeping and how he had been living. When Remus sat down, Sirius looked at him for a moment. He felt drawn towards him, he was itching for physical contact. To feel that Remus was really there for good and that it wasn't just some weird figment of his imagination. Slowly, he inched a little closer, he didn't want to startle Remus again. Then he moved to rest his head on Remus' shoulder and his arm came across his middle. He couldn't resist.You: Remus tensed once again but he didn't pull away. He noticed Sirius inching closer and needed him there as badly as the other did he was sure. The contact was a bit more emboldened than the Sirius he remembered though; the Sirius that always tease flirted and cracked jokes but showed very little physical affection. The change was... nice.
Still, something inside of Remus was screaming that it wasn't something he deserved. He had abandoned the man and therefore shouldn't be allowing this comfort.
"How is... um..." Remus began, suddenly at a loss for things to say; all of the questions that had been swimming around in his head, suddenly gone. "Kreacher?" he mumbled lamely, not at all intending to land on the subject of the house elf.Stranger: It wasn't until Remus had been gone that Sirius had realized how much he was actually craving physical affection from him, even though he hadn't pursued it so much. Sure, he'd flirted, but always made it sound like he was teasing and joking, because he didn't think Remus would actually be interested. It made it easy to hide when he fake flirted with a lot of people. However, after having missed him for so long, Sirius needed the touch and affection. Without even realizing it, he curled up even tighter, practically clinging to Remus at this point. "Kreacher passed away last year. Old age." Sirius told him. "He was happy though, died next to my mother's portrait. I buried it with him, because he would have liked that and mother would have hated it. And I don't have to look at the picture anymore, it was only there for his sake, really."You: "I-I'm sorry to hear that," Remus offered, distracted by the way Sirius was pressing against him, draped over him. "I liked the poor sod. Bit off his rocker but he meant well enough.
He cleared he flushed a bit, an arm wrapping around Sirius as his weight shifted causing Remus to worry that it might send them toppling.
He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly before speaking again. "Uh... Sirius... While I am very happy to see you and am quite enjoying the embrace but... are you sure you're alright?"
Stranger: "It is what it is. It was his time. I hated him as a child, but I grew a bit fond of him. And he lightened up a bit around Harry. I think he was happy to say goodbye though." Sirius shrugged. He knew that Kreacher had found it strange that Sirius didn't like treating house elves the way his parents had done. When Remus wrapped an arm around him, Sirius smiled and nuzzled into his chest. He couldn't resist. When Remus spoke again, Sirius looked up, but didn't move. "Yeah, I am okay. I've missed you a lot. Just.. Yeah, I am fine."You: It was obvious that the werewolf was completely confused by the other man's attention but he didn't try to dismiss it or pull away. Instead he let Sirius do as he wish, content to just be with him for a bit.
After a while however, his other arm wrapped around him, holding him closer, face dipping to bury in his dark curls once more, breathing him in yet again, needing the reminder that this was real just as Sirius did..
