Thoughts from: Kookie
Q: Write down a memory you have of a time when you interacted with someone who is elderly in which you learned something valuable.
My Grandmother moved into our home when she was 84 and unable to physically care for herself. Though it seems that my family and I were taking care of her, the challenges that we faced in this endeavor taught us more about ourselves and how to love her and others in a different way than we could ever have imagined.
Q: Tell about an instance when you spent time with an elderly person and the interaction changed your perspective.
Because I was my 86 year old grandmother's caregiver, I was the person who would take her to her doctor's appointments. One day she was going for a follow up but did not have any major problems. She was on little medication and for her age was doing rather well. When the doctor greeted her and ushered her to a chair in front of his desk, he asked her how she was and she said, "Oh Doctor. It is horrible to get old." Now this was a casual answer, one that I was used to hearing and to my mind and view of her life to that point, it was pretty understandable why she might say it. She had been through a lot in her medical history. I didn't really think it was an unreasonable comment. But the kind doctor bent down and looked at her straight in the eye, at her level in the chair. The words he spoke will stay with me the rest of my life. He firmly, yet kindly said, "Neclo, I do not want to EVER hear you say that again. I have SO MANY patients who would love the chance to grow old but will never have that chance. They are experiencing 'horrible'. You are not. You are doing so much better than then most of the people your own age even. ~ Well, That hit us both like a ton of bricks. I don't remember ever hearing her answer that question in quite the same way after that and I am careful to try not to complain about my own circumstances and to count my blessing instead of my complaints.
Q: What is a memory you cherish of a time when you spent time with someone elderly?
My grandmother lived with us for 8 1/2 years before she passed away. Her passing was the most difficult and yet sweet thing to experience. Because she knew the Lord, we were confident that her passing would be just a step into a new and wonderful life free of pain and in the presence of Jesus. So being able to be there, to pray with her when I knew she was just breathing her last breaths was such a privilege. To hold her hand and love on her, speak softly to her, Read Gods Word to her, knowing that I was there when she took her last breath and when she was just felling asleep here on this earth and in the next moment open her eyes and be with Jesus was nothing short of Precious!
Q: Is there an elderly person that you have known that has made a large impact on your life and why did they have an impression?
My grandfather, my mothers father was the perfect grandfather. When I was a kid, He made me feel like in his eyes, I could do no wrong and could do nothing at all that would make him love me any less. I only remember him disciplining me once. I was absolutely flabbergasted at the time that he would be angry with me but it didn't take long to see that my actions could have put me in danger and he was very scared for me and only wanted to protect me and make sure that I never made that decision again. His discipline made me feel loved. His love was genuine and protective, it was fun and silly too. He was born in 1890 and by the time i was born in 1959 he was already an old man who had lived a whole lot of life, been through hell as an American in an internment camp in the Philippines during WWII and just wasn't worried too much about petty things. He enjoyed spending time with me and would sit me on his lap and sing songs and tell me stories that he had learned when he was a child. We found joy in simple things like a dandelion revealing that I liked butter when it is placed under my nose turning it a yellow hue when the sunlight hit the flower just so. LOL. I learned that it was time spent and loving simple things that were what was important. Not how much $ was given. We didn't have much money for sure. But we had lots of love.
Q: Do you have any memories of elderly parents, grandparents, or relatives that you treasure and wish to share?
Many memories! One memory that stands out is that every year after my grandfather died, It somehow became my job... No, my responsibility… No, my duty.. No, my opportunity to show my respect to… No.. it was my privilege to take my grandmother, his widow, to the cemetery on Memorial Day. Being a Christian, We knew he was not there, but somehow it was a tradition to take the time to not only remember our memories of him but to make a point NOT TO FORGET to remember. I think that is why God had the Isrealites make memorials and traditions. To get in the habit of remembering. So not only did we spend time talking about our memories of him but I also realized that she was prepping me for when she herself would some day pass. She was making this a habit for me every year. She was finding comfort that when she passed I would have a habit to also take the time to remember not only him but also her. Without saying it, I knew what she was thinking and that it was comforting for her to know that. Well, as it turns out, I moved away. A whole country's length away from that cemetery. My heart is heavy that I can't visit it every Memorial Day but even though I can't, I know that it wasn't really the cemetery that was important.. it was the memories. I still have those. I still hold them close to my heart. I will never forget.
