#remember everything comic

Ivan who stole Till's pencil, giving it back to him and pretending he found it, the corners of his lips bruised and bleeding from the training he underwent to smile properly, doing the exact same smile he was taught — all to get in Till's good graces.

This clumsy and flawed display of affection... he doesn't know how to be gentle, but he tries to anyway.

Some time went by, judging by the hair length.

Round 3 Ivan also shows up before that. The grief must be pretty fresh, judging from his hair, hence explaining why it's an older Ivan hallucination.

The balls in the background-

-are from round 3, black sorrow. It is here where he grieves for the lost time. He’s older than Ivan now, and that just registers in his head. So many years have gone by. The balls that came from the stage of round 3 might symbolise the similar feeling of sorrow overtaking Till, and the acknowledgment that Ivan too, wanted somebody to care for him, ask him if he’s okay. He acknowledges his pain, and hence his feelings.

Afterwards, Till hallucinates a round 6 Ivan, right when his grief was still fresh, highlighting his guilt. Ivan also leans on Till, his physical weight a symbolism of the guilt that Till feels, heavy, sometimes oppressive.

Red is the only colour present in the otherwise black and white comic, just like the previous scars comic.

So this is how he has the notch on his ear

It's teen Ivan that Till hallucinates here. Ivan and Till spent most of their time as teens together, since they grew up together. Here was probably where most of their misunderstandings occurred. I find it interesting how the last time Till had a heart to heart with Ivan, it was teen Ivan that shows up too. It's almost as if he feels grief particularly for that point of time, since there was so many things left unsaid between them, so much miscommunication (especially since it was after the meteor shower, which no doubt complicated their relationship further)

A specifically black wig, perhaps a sign of her mourning Sua. It covers her distinctive pink hair and scars, probably so no one could identify her, including Till.

Long black hair in particular, was associated with Sua when she had to do photoshoots. In karma, it was revealed that Mizi had tried to jump off a cliff (or it was an accident). Sua had looked afraid, so much so that Mizi swore to never do that again. She let Sua sacrifice herself, but some part of her naively hopes that they could still survive together. This was what doomed them both, Sua didn’t want Mizi to sacrifice herself, and Mizi couldn’t help but respect her wishes, in fear that there would be that look on her face again.

He probably wanted verbal reassurance, some sort of indication that showed that Ivan cared for him. But then-

"...can't you say it first? I wish you'd say it first."

Then it registers just how much time has passed.

Guilt.

Because at the end of the day, Ivan too, wanted love

If they had a word to associate their feelings with, to understand these feelings, would they gotten closer?

He mourns for what they could've been, for the things he didn't say, didn't do.

With that, came some form of acceptance of Ivan's feelings. And so, his guilt lessened.

But the grief doesn't go away. It never does.

He gets better, tries to find Mizi, another grieving soul. His feelings have faded and he's matured out of his innocent crush. What they needed was acknowledgement, acceptance. And while full acceptance may take time, healing is a process and Till has gotten closer to it than ever before. They needed closure.

He wishes to grieve with her, reminisce their past and share their pain.

And for their sake, for all of their sakes, I hope they do.

So that they will stop being haunted by their ghosts, to move on and to allow their ghosts to rest.