#relentlessgrace

On this morning when I woke up extra early to study because I forgot about an important quiz I have today. On this morning that I recall my finals week experience last semester. 

Amidst this week of finals, this week of stress, this week of insanity…I feel a strange calm. It’s not because I know that my worth is not in my grades—even though that is true. It’s not because I know it’s going to be over soon no matter what I do—even though that, I know, is also true. It’s because it seems that every moment of this past week, I have been reminded of my inadequacy. I will probably never retain all the information I need to know to make a perfect grade on my hardest test. I will never be strong enough to bear the full weight of stress on my heart and body. But acknowledging my utter insufficiency helps me remember that there is One whose grace is sufficient for me. One who is enough, and always will be. One who gave up everything so that the gaps in my heart and life could be filled. One who promises eternal strength when I am so weak. Such a relentless promise makes a beautiful wreck of me. But it’s okay, because I know exactly Who is picking up the pieces. I do not have to bear the burden of control, because my life rests in surrender—in losing it so that I may find it. And that, I will gladly do.