#relationshiptest

Just tried explaining how throughout history white people have been cherry picking particular traits in non-white culture and not really respecting the origin culture...it ended with him yelling that he shouldn’t have to apologize to me for slavery...

I tried, I tried SUPER hard to narrow down the specific type of white person that exploits other cultures and tramples all over it (which would exclude him since he has never really portrayed behavior in such a manner- he’s a very thoughtful sincere person) but not 2 minutes into the conversation he was having difficulty with that fact that white people are “mostly” to blame then as soon as he felt personally victimized he was fronting classic defense mechanism and essentially gaslighting...

This is a hard pill to swallow for me as a multi-ethnic woman because my entire life society has limited me to my skin and my gender and now the person I have been in love with called me racist and doesn’t believe in white privilege.

I am at a loss- I tried concoling him by telling him that it’s okay that we don’t see eye-to-eye right now and that our relationship is stronger than this but honestly his reaction was so volatile and intense I’m sufficiently worried that we can’t make it...

Please help! Anyone that has experience or understands the psychology of this particular dynamic.

Is this something that ends relationships??

I’ve tried to be compassionate but he doesn’t it see my behavior of affection and words of confirmation as compassion at this point in time - I’m seriously at a loss for words and thoughts