Hi Nonny!

Thanks for your ask. 💕 I think the key difference between the two is novelty and depth.

By novelty, I mostly mean the passing of time, and the element of excitement. Everything that is new will be exciting, so the beginning of a new relationship or a new date will always conquer our attention and affection. During this phase (or the honeymoon phase, as it is more commonly known) you're more likely to like things about your partner than love. You see an idealised picture - you don't know your partner fully yet, so your mind fills in the blanks with things desirable to you. And of course your mind wouldn't create a picture you don't like.

Love, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily retain the excitement. Sure, sexual intimacy can preserve some of it, but even that is mellowed in a way. Some might even call it boring, but really it just feels mundane and normal. You know your partner, you've been with them for a while, you understand that there are things you don't necessarily like about each other. But you still love them because overall they're the right person for you and you understand that no one is perfect. And that love will be deep and strong and slow, unlike in the beginning when it's fast and shallow. To give you a tangible example, I'd say that for instance like is when I excuse your behaviour that I dislike or have an explosive argument with you because my idealised picture is threatened; and love is when I discuss it with you, while being prepared to continue loving you (maybe even harder) even if you might not be able to change.

So to sum it up, I think it boils down to whether or not we are prepared to discard our idealised picture of someone and embrace them as the person they are. If we can successfully do it, then we transform our like into love, and if we fail, we risk internalising this false idea that the initial flame equals love and then we'll never be satisfied in a long term, committed relationship.

(As for love at first sight... I don't believe in it. I believe in really good matches, "matches made in heaven" if you will. But a good relationship doesn't just get handed to people, you make it good by working very hard on it with your partner. That hard work won't feel like hard work though when you've found your match. 💕)

5: i don’t mean to brag but i’m a 5x discord mod with 7 kittens so i’m a pretty hot commodity

4: if you went missing i wouldn’t look

3: i might be blind but you look hot

2: do you fear god?