What is emotional awareness? Why do people hide their feeling?
July 6, 2023
Author: Yuting Yen
Keywords: emotional awareness, feeling, emotion
Persona: all genders, 20-40 years old
Introduction
Emotional awareness is not an uncommon term in modern society (sometimes it sounds like terminology). When talking about health concerns, which is the most well-liked topic online, in a podcast or a magazine, people may think that if I have a nice body shape, have six packs, have firm abs (abdominal muscles), or a standard BMI value it represents that they are healthy, and logically speaking, they are right. Their physical forms may look amazing and aesthetically pleasing, but what about their inside? Wait a minute! I am not referring to the health status of their inside organs, but rather their mental health.
An individual's mental health is critical, it might sound like an old cliché, but people tend to neglect its consequences. According to research from the University of Minnesota, our body health can be affected by our thoughts and feelings. Thus, in this article, I would like to give my readers, who are around 20 to 40 years old, a brief introduction to an easy understanding of what is emotional awareness and why it is critical to every individual. It also raises awareness of the importance of paying attention to our emotions. Moreover, I would like to discuss the relationship between families and why humans conceal their emotions. So, let's start!
What is emotional awareness?
Emotional awareness is the ability to recognize our feelings and understand why we behave that way. Imagine your body as a wooden house, your emotions as columns and beams, and the pressure and negative thoughts as termites. With their strong mandibles, these emotional termites chew and damage your beams and columns when you feel stressed. Now you call a pest exterminator to check your house and spray termiticide on the floor, so there are no more termites in the woods until the next time these ruthless mentally charged pests attack your house, and you need to call pest control again.
We feel mad, angry, depressed, or dissatisfied when we think negatively. If we do not want to accept it and face it or even solve it, it will be like a termite colony. They ruin our mental health continuously and gradually. No matter whether we know it or not, emotions play a major role in our decision-making journey and every reaction in. However, emotional awareness is a skill that can be learned with patience and practice. To develop this skill, we learn how to connect with these uncomfortable feelings. We find suitable solutions to manage them or overcome the terrible mood.
In other words, emotion awareness teaches two basic abilities.
The ability to recognize your feelings. For example, ask yourself “How am I feeling right now?” or “I felt uncomfortable in that situation, and I understand why.”
2. The ability to handle difficult emotions in difficult situations.
The second function of emotional awareness is to allow us to understand others' feelings and thoughts from others’ points of view, rather than our own.
Why is emotional awareness relevant?
Dr. Sheri Jacobson says emotional awareness is the ability to recognize and make sense of your and others’ feelings.
Have you had an experience where you felt depressed or anxious, but don't know why, and this feeling controlled you? Have you experienced an unpleasant feeling that negatively affected your decision-making? Have you felt uncomfortable after being rejected and harboured resentment toward people who said NO to you, or did you feel guilty for saying NO to others? That is why we need to learn how to recognize our true feelings. Sometimes, we might feel regret after our temper is out of control or think we shouldn’t have said yes to everything. Our emotions drive our behaviors so if we don’t recognize our feelings, we will not fully understand our actions.
Betraying your feelings to make others happy is not a healthy way to maintain a healthy connection with people. This is true regardless of whether those people are your close friends, your roommates, your family, or even your partner. I know this sounds challenging. Some might also consider it scarification because they love their family and friends, too. As a result of the rejection, they are also concerned that it will ruin their relationship. Therefore, I would like to point out the benefit of learning emotional awareness and what it can give you:
Recognize who we are: What do we like? What don’t we like?
Have clear and effective communication with others.
Show mercy and compassion toward others.
Understand ourselves and avoid wrong decision-making.
Help ourselves build healthy relationships and boundaries with others.
Avoid panicking when faced with difficulties.
Why do people hide feelings?
If you find this story familiar, you can relate to Linda's position.
Linda’s friend, Anna, repeatedly asked her for a cup of coffee on the way to the office. This was because Anna was unable to fulfill it herself. The first time, Linda replied yes without hesitation. The second time Anna approached Linda for the same favour again. She still agreed yes but this time she felt a little uneasy. The third time, Linda felt uncomfortable, even though she still agreed yes to Anna. The fourth time, Linda found an excuse to reject Anna. However, Anna said she needed to send her children to school so she cannot buy it on the way to the office. Linda said yes again.
Why has Linda never said no to Anna and accepted her requests?
Our brain serves as a built-in security system, so protecting ourselves from danger is our natural reaction. When we are confronted with challenging scenarios, our brains instinctively choose the option with the least risk. This concept applies to our relationship.
After talking to Linda, she indicated that she has known Anna for more than 10 years, therefore they consider each other best friends. Linda mentioned that Anna also helps her when she needs to. Moreover, Linda is worried that Anna might think Linda is not a trustworthy friend when she declines Anna's requests.
As human beings are social animals, a feeling of belonging and identity is essential. To avoid getting hurt, people hide their feelings. If you react negatively or tell people how you feel, it might lead to a more harmful conflict. In addition, avoiding showing weakness is another reason, as showing your emotions might put you in a vulnerable position. Human nature protects us by refraining from expressing sadness, madness, fear, or frustration in front of others. However, hiding emotions could result in disrupted communication, emotional breakdown, physical health disorders or mental disorders.
Summary
People hide their feelings because they worry about others’ reactions or what others think about them. Occasionally concealment is necessary, but it is not a healthy way to deal with negative feelings.
Even though it can be difficult to recognize your emotions and express them correctly to others, practicing being more patient with your true heart or visiting a therapist can help you in the long term. In this case, consequences are not an issue.
If this happens again, try to express how you feel toward the person who makes you feel uneasy. You don't have to scold them or blame them, you just need to tell them "Hey, I don't think I am comfortable with the situation." It is fine if they don't like your reaction because it is not your problem. Remember, if you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself.
