reijys replied to your post:
this is still one of my favorite stories from high school and we didnât even go to high school together
my favorite story from high school is - I donât think Iâve ever told this story publically but ok so
yaâll know Iâm from the boonies of los angeles but if you donât: I live in a part of los angeles that people actually think is lomita and not los angeles thatâs called harbor city and is neither near the los angeles harbor or a city
itâs not a bad place to live or anything ok itâs just that we donât have grocery stores and our division of the los angeles school district only has ten schools and narbonne is consistently number 10 because weâre the boonie school everyone else sends their problem students to and then when theyâre too much of a problem for narbonne they send them to gardena but thatâs another story
the point here is that there were enough pregnant girls at narbonne that we had a juno club and so many drugs that some of us wore dare shirts ironically
there are two parts to this story: the first is that tenth grade honors english was the worst goddamn time of my high school career and for the first semester of tenth grade english I had an old white guy for a teacher named mr. hoffman or something like that Iâve scrubbed most of the details of tenth grade english from my mind weâll call him hoffman
hoffman was an old school guy, like heâs probably what everyone pictures when they picture a college professor: old, white hair, wore a lot of crisply pressed button-up shirts with bowties, 100% didnât ask to be teaching 10th grade english at narbonne high and 500% did not ask to be teaching the Problem Class of 10th grade english at narbonne high
âreili,â you say, âI thought you said you were in honor englishâ I was but hereâs the thing: hoffmanâs class of honors students was me and one other girl
that left 22 other miscreants and riffraff who all smelled like weed and axe body spray with a collective iq of about 45 on a good day which might seem mean except I had to sit through them discussing julius caesar and you didnât
letâs just say sonnets are both not hedgehogs and I finally understood, in that class, why people hate reading shakespeare
IÂ also skipped that class so often the detention centre called my journalism teacher and told him that if I didnât start going to class they were going to start walking me to class because they were so tired of seeing me and I wasnât even trying to skip
of course the important part of this whole story is that hoffmanâs class was located in the bungalows next to the bathrooms and the college center
(yes, you read that right. our college center was located between the bathrooms, at the very edges of campus because narbonne sincerely was proud if you managed to graduate and not drop out to have a baby but maybe you shouldnât tax yourself too much and think about college)
the second part of this story is that in the second semester I transferred out of that cesspit and went on to write twincest to piss off my extremely conservative other tenth grade honors teacher because if I had to be miserable reading my fellow studentsâ poetry then she had to be miserable reading my filth and sin
what follows is the most accurate account of the bizarre events that led to hoffmanâs mental breakdown and subsequent immediate resignation, told to me by several people who werenât in the class:
about halfway through the second semester, someone hotboxes the bathroom which normally wouldnât be such a big deal except that hoffman had been slowly going crazy (having been in his class I 100% believe this part) and he was Absolutely Done with this shit like ABSOLUTELY DONE
attacks a student, everyoneâs screaming, thereâs blood drawn, I was told that the kid cracked his head open and an ambulance had to be called (which I absolutely donât believe but it makes for a better story) and shitâs cray, you know? especially because after this hoffman just like
heâs so fucking done he just walks out of the class and the school and then for the rest of the semester thereâs just a substitute teacher there and nobody ever heard from hoffman again
