these are the days of miracle and wonder

Me? Oh I work at the Paranornal Response Organization. It’s mostly rounding up cursed copies of Minecraft. Yeah, all those ARG videos are 100% real. There’s like. 15 a fucking day. Honestly I’d estimate 50% of modern-day abnormality sightings are Minecraft-based. Reaaaally clogs up the system.

wait ok this is actually one that has caused some contention before when I've talked to people about it. reblog and tag whether or not you check the weather prediction every day before going out

You have to separate the art from the Garfunkel

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

The cleanomorph

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great