lay - slightly NSFW - @jeggyverses-jegulus-microfic - word count: 335
“So…” Sirius said slowly with a knowing, suggestive smile as James walked blearily to the breakfast table of the flat they shared, “you had a good night last night, hm?”
James, who was clearly still waking up, froze midstep. “You…shit, how long have you been here?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. Moony has work early today so I decided to come back late last night.”
The taller man blinked, looking truly terrified. “I didn’t expect you until later,” he said hoarsely.
Sirius tilted his head, confused. This had never been a problem before. Even if one of them was home while the other had company, awkwardness had never ensued. That was what headphones and socks on doors were for. “Yeah, mate, but don’t worry. S’not like I paid close attention. Though from what I did hear, it sounded like you had a good time,” he said, sending his best friend a wink. “Was he a good lay, then?”
For some reason, this seemed to make James even more uncomfortable. “I…erm…I dunno how to answer that,” he murmured, voice crackling. “I think, maybe, I shouldn’t.”
Sirius frowned. “I mean, it’s not a hard question. What, you’re getting shy on me now, Potter? C’mon, mate, I know every detail about how you lost your virginity, it’s not like we have secrets.”
“Oh, interesting. How did you lose your virginity, Potter?”
It took Sirius a full thirty seconds to process exactly who was asking that. To realize that Regulus, his fucking brother, had arrived in the kitchen, only wearing James’s t-shirt and clearly having just awoken as well.
Sirius could only gape, his brain unable to compute what was happening.
James, who was looking back and forth between the two of them, coughed awkwardly and spoke into the silence. “It’s…erm…a funny story,” he murmured, biting the inside of his cheek.
Regulus, however, was grinning at Sirius. “Still want to hear if I was a good lay?” he asked, sitting at the table.
Sirius was quite sure he wanted to die.
