#regretchen

send me a song lyric and a ship and i’ll write something based off it!!

tw for mentioned outing and mental health discussion things and mild fatphobia

It’s entirely possible that Gretchen Wieners has the worst judgement in the entire world.

Well, okay, it’s not like she chose to become friends with Regina George. And then best friends. And then fall madly in love with her. It just… happened.

But it clearly didn’t for Regina.

She sent Cady a candy cane? Thanking her for being such a great best friend?

And Gretchen didn’t get anything? Regina didn’t even look at her this morning.

She hates herself for it, but Gretchen snarls at a group of freshmen in the bathroom during her study hall. They leave in a panic, knowing she still has a serious in with the queen of the school.

In actuality, Gretchen just didn’t want them to see her break down.

She drops her designer bag on the revolting floor and manages to hoist her way up onto the ledge by the window. It’s snowing lightly. Gretchen’s tears flutter down her cheeks as the snow does the same in the courtyard outside.

She knows she should be in study hall. She has got to study for her algebra midterm. She would’ve gone to Cady, but… she’s not sure now.

“Go away,” she grumbles when she hears the door creak open.

“Gretch?”

“Shit,” Gretchen hisses, whirling her way down and into a stall before Regina can see her. She makes her voice higher and squeakier before she says, “No. She’s not here.”

“I recognize your bag, Gretchen,” Regina replies. “Ew, are you crying?”

“No!” Gretchen insists hastily. She unlocks the door and holds her hands out to her sides so Regina can see she’s definitely not crying. “See? I-I’m totally fine!”

“No, you’re not,” Regina replies, almost gently. “Did someone say something? I swear to god if-”

“No, Regina,” Gretchen says. “Really. It’s fine. I have to go, I’m late for study hall.”

“Well then why the hell are you crying?” Regina calls as Gretchen grabs her bag and tries to rush out the door.

“Why don’t you ask your best friend?” Gretchen gripes under her breath.

“What are you talking about?” Regina asks in exasperation. Gretchen whirls around and stalks over to her.

“You sent Cady a candy cane? Cady?! We’ve known her for three months! And now she’s… she’s your best friend?” Gretchen says. Don’t cry now, not in front of Regina, no, stop it, stupid-

“What? I never sent Cady a candy cane,” Regina says.

“She just got one from you last period!” Gretchen insists. “Thanks for being such a great best friend, from Regina.”

“I didn’t send her anything,” Regina repeats. “You know I don’t send them, I just get them.”

“Then… she’s… not…”

“Of course she’s not my best friend, Gretchen,” Regina says softly. “She’s not the one I met in preschool. She’s not the one I used to trade Twinkle Toes with.”

“You remember that?” Gretchen chuckles wetly.

“Yeah,” Regina says. “Cady’s… good for the group. But she’s not you.”

“She could be,” Gretchen mumbles, looking down at her shoes. These are her favorites. Regina complimented them when she first bought them and Gretchen has loved them ever since. “You said it yourself.”

“I did?” Regina asks. “When?”

“At the Halloween party,” Gretchen says. “You said she’s the same kind of exotic cute as me only fresher so I should watch out.”

“Jesus,” Regina whispers under her breath. “Okay, look. You wanna ditch the rest of the day?”

“Huh?”

“Did I stutter? Do you wanna leave?”

“Y-yeah,” Gretchen says. “Where are we going?”

“I dunno. Smoothies?” Regina asks, strutting those perfect legs out of the bathroom and towards the doors to the building. Gretchen feels like a little pet scurrying after her wiping tears from her eyes.

“O-okay.”

Regina leads her to her convertible and tosses her bag carelessly into the backseat. Gretchen gently does the same with hers and slides into the passenger seat. She had been banished to the backseat with Karen to make room for Cady, but she hopes this time is okay because it’s just the two of them. Hopefully. Oh, god, what if she gets-

“I’m sorry,” Regina begins as she turns the engine over and pulls out of the student parking lot. Huh?

“It’s okay,” Gretchen says automatically.

“No, Gretch, it really isn’t,” Regina sighs. “Do you know what borderline personality disorder is?”

“Not really,” Gretchen says. “They mentioned it in psych but we never really went into detail.”

Regina nods. “I have it.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry,” Gretchen says. What is she supposed to say in this situation?

“It’s caused by… well, that doesn’t matter. But I feel things a lot more intensely than normal people do. Happiness, which, yknow. Pretty amazing. But anger and depression and shit too. I have a harder time keeping a lid on it,” Regina says.

“Oh.”

“I get angry a lot. Really easily,” Regina continues quietly. “And every time I do, it gets even easier. I’ve been in…”

“A fog?” Gretchen asks softly.

“Yeah,” Regina says. “I’ve been in a fog, of just… so much anger. Hate. Rage. For years. I think it started when my dad left. And it peaks and dips. But I lash out when it peaks. Like everything I… everything I did to Janis. And when I said that shit to you at the Halloween party.”

“That’s not your fault,” Gretchen says.

“Maybe not the root of it, but it’s not like I’m not in control of myself, Gretch,” Regina says. “I’m still responsible.”

“But you-”

“God, can you let me talk?!” Regina barks. Gretchen nods frantically and cowers down in her seat. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t- fuck, Gretch. You’re scared of me, aren’t you?”

“Everyone is,” Gretchen says softly. “You’re the queen.”

“Dictator, more like,” Regina says dryly. “I knew everyone else was, but you… you’re my best friend, Gretch.”

“You wouldn’t have kept me around if I wasn’t,” Gretchen says.

Regina is quiet as she mulls Gretchen’s words over in her mind. Gretchen isn’t sure if she should speak or not, so she settles for looking out the window at the two-lane road they’re hurtling down.

Eventually Regina pulls into the parking lot of a dinky little diner. It’s most certainly not somewhere befitting the Plastics today, but it was their favorite spot back when Janis was still with them.

Regina walks in like she owns the place, right past the very confused hostess and into their booth in the back corner. Gretchen is amazed she even remembered where they sat as she rushes after her.

Regina always makes Gretchen order their food. Gretchen always gets terribly anxious ordering the food. Regina never notices.

But this time, she does. She looks at Gretchen oddly as she starts quietly coaching herself through her deep breathing exercises to get herself calmed down enough to speak.

“Are you okay?”

“Mmhmm!” Gretchen hums frantically. “Mmhmm.”

“Don’t lie to me, Gretchen.”

“I’m not!” Gretchen insists.

“You sound the same as when you told me you were okay in the bathroom. You’re lying,” Regina insists. “What’s the matter?”

“I hate when you make me order the food because I always get really anxious when I have to talk to people I don’t know and I don’t know what to say and then I mess up and I’m always afraid someone’s gonna laugh and I’m more afraid it’s gonna be you because you-”

“Because I what?”

“Nothing,” Gretchen says softly. “Never mind.”

“I’ll order. It’s fine,” Regina says. Gretchen is torn between being relieved and absolutely fucking terrified. They had a nice moment in the car, but what if it was all fake? Regina could crucify her for this. “What do you want?”

“I can do it,” Gretchen says.

“I’m fucking ordering, Gretchen, what do you want?” Regina insists.

“Chicken tenders and a strawberry smoothie,” Gretchen says. “Please.”

Regina nods and repeats the order to the waiter when he comes up. She gets her own smoothie, too, but nothing else.

“You’re not gonna order anything?”

Regina shakes her head. “I’m on an all carb diet. I can’t.”

“Oh, right,” Gretchen says. “That sounds rough.”

“It is! And it totally isn’t working, I’ve got to talk to Cady. If anything I’m gaining weight.”

“You look amazing,” Gretchen says. “Like, super hot. Oh my god, why did I say that?”

“You think I’m hot?” Regina asks with a scrutinizing look in her eye. Gretchen doesn’t say anything and pointedly refuses to make eye contact. “Gretchen.”

“Everyone does!” Gretchen squeaks frantically. “I just… don’t think you look like you’ve gained anything. And if you have that wouldn’t be bad. And if you have you look great too.”

Regina hums quietly. They’re silent while they wait for their food. Neither of them know quite what to say. It’s weird, now, being alone without Karen or Cady to fill conversation.

Gretchen happily digs into her chicken tenders when the basket is placed in front of her. Regina sips slowly at her smoothie and watches with envy burning in her eyes.

“Fries are a carb,” Gretchen says softly. “I think.”

Regina gives her a half-smile and takes a couple fries. Gretchen pushes one of her little cups of ketchup closer to her, and the half-smile grows to a full one.

“I know I have to change,” Regina says eventually around a mouthful of fry. Gretchen looks up at her from her smoothie she was dipping her fries into. “I’m in therapy. Don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t. I’m in therapy too,” Gretchen says. Regina looks at her in apparent shock.

“For what?” she asks. “No, that’s personal, sorry.”

“I have an anxiety disorder,” Gretchen says. Regina’s face falls.

“Because of me?”

“No! No, it’s genetic,” Gretchen says. “It’s not your fault. It’s my parents’.”

“I probably don’t help,” Regina mumbles.

“If you’re serious about this, you will,” Gretchen replies, gently nudging her with a foot under the table. Regina nudges her back.

“I am. I know I’ve been horrible and I have to change and I’ve been a bitch. I want to, but it’s… I’ve done so much damage it’s gonna take a really long time,” Regina sighs. “Sometimes I wish I’d just get hit by a bus or something so I can claim I’ve seen the light and know the error of my ways now. Then nobody would ask questions.”

“You what?”

“That’s another BPD thing,” Regina chuckles. “Wanting to be injured for attention. But I’m kidding about the whole bus thing. Mostly. It’s only fair I take my time undoing what I took my time doing in the first place. And I wanted to start with you, anyway.”

“You did?” Gretchen asks as she stacks their dishes by the edge of the table to make it easier on the waiter. “Why?”

Regina sighs as she stands up and leads them back out of the diner. “Because you’re one of the ones I hurt the most, but you still see enough in me to be around. And…”

“And?” Gretchen asks, pausing outside the door. Regina freezes in her tracks, whirls around, and kisses her.

Gretchen freezes. This can’t be happening. The thing Gretchen has dreamed of for years, happening? No. No chance, no way.

But it is.

Regina’s lips are so soft. She knew they would be. Regina is never without lip gloss or, only in emergencies, a lip balm. She tastes faintly of the smoothies they just drank, and something minty. Her toothpaste, maybe. Either way, it’s beyond amazing.

“Whoa,” Gretchen gasps when she pulls back. “Wait, what about Aaron?”

“I broke up with him weeks ago,” Regina whispers. “I guess I technically started with him. Wasn’t fair to lead him on just to tease Cady. And… I have feelings for someone else.”

“Me?”

“Do you see me making out with anyone else in a parking lot, Gretchen?”

“No, no, I just… me?” Gretchen asks. “You could have your pick of guys or girls and… me?”

“Yeah,” Regina says. “You’d best not be questioning my judgement, Wieners.”

Definitely. “No, I’m-”

“Yours is pretty rotten.”

“Says you,” Gretchen teases. Regina gasps.

“Hey! Oh, you little shit, get back here!”

Gretchen runs all the way back to the car and hides in the back seat. Regina climbs in after her. They both freeze and blush when they realize Regina has her pinned in a rather compromising position, but neither of them complain about it.

“You’re beautiful,” Regina whispers eventually. “Look at you.”

“Look at me?! Look at you!” Gretchen giggles. “Did you mean all that stuff you said? About… getting better? Changing?”

“Yeah. But I could use a helper,” Regina says. “You have any recommendations?”

“I think Kevin Gnapoor might be free.”

“Do not even joke about that, oh my god,” Regina says. Gretchen laughs and wraps her arms around her neck.

“I’ll do whatever I can to support you,” she whispers. Regina gives a gentle, genuine smile and leans down for another kiss.

“Me too.”

Maybe out loud, they don’t say it. But inside, they both know.

oh nonnie this is delicious

i am unfortunately probably closing my own requests for the time being but hhhhh i love it

Ako dapat yung humahawak ng kamay mo

Ako dapat yung nagpapangiti at nagpapatawa sayo.

Ako dapat yung kakulitan at kaharutan mo.

Ako dapat yung niyayakap mo.

Ako dapat yung humahalik sayo.

Ako dapat yung minamahal mo.

Ako dapat yun e.

Naunahan kasi ng kaba.

Natorpe kasi.

Nawalan ng lakas ng loob.

Kung nalaman ko lang sana agad na gusto mo rin ako.

Edi sana tayo ngayon.

May nakasingit na tuloy.

Nakakainis.

Sayang. :(